I’ve bumped my husbands new car 🚗

[StaceyAl]

I’m in a panic. My husband bought an expensive new car last week. He was having an afternoon nap so I just borrowed it to collect my son from sports training. I’ve reversed into a low wall in a car park (couldn’t see it in my rear view mirror) and have dented the rear bumper.
He’s working from home tomorrow- is there any chance I can get up early and take it to a garage to get fixed and return it without him knowing?
what should I do, I can’t tell him he’ll be furious and I took it without asking

Details are quite scant so we don't really know much about the car, expensive is subjective

Are you new here.

Surely he deliberately damaged the car in order to provide cover to the clandestine affair he has been having? At least throw in some accusations of gaslighting and a LTB? Jesus, you are an amateur.

This level of fear of your husband is not healthy OP.

I take my husband's car whenever I feel like it, I don't have to ask. Same with my car, he can drive it whenever he wants. Is that not normal?

TBH - you should not have taken it without his consent in the first place and this is why "it did not go well."

Anyways, I hope it can be easily sorted and look like new again and you two have made up!!

What does “it didn’t go well” mean, OP? You shouldn’t have to learn a lesson. I’m with the PP’s who are worried about how he’s reacted. I’ve been in an abusive marriage - I “learned my lesson” and LTB (eventually). I really hope you’re okay.

The OP is a careless driver. Probably knew he’d say no if she asked.

You have to. It will get worse if you don't.

Thanks everyone. I’m not a dangerous driver as some of you seem to think, I’ve been driving safely for many years. As I said when I reversed there was only trees in my rear view mirror about 3-4 feet from the back of my car. I didn’t see the very low wall, although my parking sensors did go off I was too heavy footed on the accelerator and it was too late. I also had music playing too loud which I should have turned down. I was physically shaking from fear and the reality of what I’d done. I instantly regretted my actions and knew I was fully at fault.
I was wrong to take the car without permission especially as I have my own car. I just wanted to drive it because it was a fancy car. I’m not allowed to drive it again which is I think a fair decision.
I will also pay for the damage from my own account rather than our joint account as it will cost quite a lot of money.
my husband was very angry with me which he has every right to be, I made a stupid decision.

He does not sound very nice. We are human and we all make mistakes.

Claim on insurance. It's what it's there for.

Your H is right to be annoyed but the reaction is very OTT.

The dynamic here is all kinds of wrong. If you took my fancy new car and damaged it, I'd be annoyed of course. But unless you've always been highly strung and prone to overreacting, you wouldn't be 'physically shaking' and too scared to tell me.

I asked earlier but don't think you responded - what exactly did he do/did you think he would do which made you so worried? Are we talking screaming tantrum/silent treatment/swearing/yelling/throwing things?

While I do think OP's language about receiving consequences, etc is worrying, there's a huge difference between someone being (rightfully) pissed off and someone flying into a violent rage.

I appreciate that accidents happen but, if I were the OP's husband, my reaction would depend on who had taken/damaged my car. For example, I would be less angry if my dad had done it, because he is a very careful person and it would be really out of character for him. My DH, on the other hand, is very impulsive, clumsy and lacking in foresight. He has a long history of losing/breaking belongings (both his and mine), even after repeated warnings that doing XYZ could break it, so I'd be furious if he took my brand new car without asking and reversed it into a wall.

Of course his physical safety wouldn't be in danger but I would be really angry, and I'd tell him so.

Thanks everyone. I’m not a dangerous driver as some of you seem to think, I’ve been driving safely for many years. As I said when I reversed there was only trees in my rear view mirror about 3-4 feet from the back of my car. I didn’t see the very low wall, although my parking sensors did go off I was too heavy footed on the accelerator and it was too late. I also had music playing too loud which I should have turned down. I was physically shaking from fear and the reality of what I’d done. I instantly regretted my actions and knew I was fully at fault.

I'm sorry but if you have music on so loud when reversing so that it means you can't hear the sensors then you are a dangerous driver. And now you say you accelerated too much when you reversed.

So, you were going too fast and with loud music.

You regretted your actions because you were frightened of the reactions of your husband.

It's not a great idea to have music so loud you can't hear anything else or stop in time.

All you can do is learn from this and be glad the obstacle was a wall and not a person or someone's car.

Yeah, your husband sounds a prick tbf. You should ideally have the stereo low/off for parking, but his reaction is pathetic. Tell him to ram his car up his jacksy, and let him pay for the damage.

I’m not allowed to drive it again which is I think a fair decision. I will also pay for the damage from my own account

He also bought it from his own account I hope?

And use the insurance, that's why you have it.

You've "learnt your lesson", can never drive the car again?
Seriously are you a child?
Yes I would feel bad if I did this, yes DH would be annoyed initially but would get over it. Accidents happen, I've bumped cars before so has DH all drivers do it because accidents happen and nobody's perfect, doesn't mean you're a bad driver or dangerous!
Your DH is overreacting massively and just doesn't sound like a nice person tbh.

I think it's fair that you pay for the damage and also it's fine not to drive his car when you have one of your own. Especially because you took it without asking. Technically that would be TWOC.

Alls well that ends well.

Not with £20,000 cars we don't. OP sounds like a rebellious 14 year old wearing her mums new stilettos to the school disco without asking then scuffing them to bits and hiding them in the back of the wardrobe because 'it wasn't my fault'..

OP never said it was not her fault, she asked how to get it fixed.

Also, but of a difference between what the OP has done and some of the stories being told here.

If my partner took my car, someone rammed in to him causing the car to roll multiple times resulting in a written off car then my only thought would be 'Jesus, thank god he's ok'

If he's fucking about with the music too loud and not focusing and has caused damage, however minimal, then I'm pissed off. Firstly, of course he's ok, he's nudged a wall slightly.
Secondly, that's not an accident. It's 100% on him.

OP I've not read the full thread, perhaps someone has already posted this (and if you've resolved things with your husband you might not want to poke the bear) but if he's still giving you grief show him this, or, fuckit!, get it printed on a t-shirt

I’m shocked at the amount of women (I assume they are women?) posting here that the husband’s anger was justified.

The OP has just said she will never be allowed to use his car again - they are married, legally it is their property - that’s what marriage means, like it or not, and she is now not allowed to use it, as if she were a child.

What kind of weird dynamic do you all live in that this is normal????

Sorry but you sound really childish. “I borrowed it as it’s a fancy car and I wanted to drive it” “I had music on too loud so I didn’t hear the reversing sensors”. You shouldn’t be physically shaking and scared of telling your husband but he has every right to be annoyed and upset. You took his new car without asking - there will be consequences for that in that he will likely be annoyed at you. But you shouldn’t be scared of him or worried what he will do etc.

This doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship at all and you sound really immature.

Was it £20,000, I must have missed that