AIBU not to have a hobby. And moreover to ask you to help me find one.

[LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood]

I am 57. Have a full time very intellectually demanding job that leaves me a bit wiped out at the end of each day/week.

I have 2 young adult daughters who are students (one at home full time and one back for the holidays). Both supportive of me and encouraging. I have a DS who is 12. He still requires parenting but is as independent as you’d expect at his age. My DH has hobbies. Also encouraging of me. But I seem to have lost my way.

Things I do - read (literature is my passion), cook quite well, walk for 50 minutes every day, swim in the sea as often as I can. Cycle occasionally. I love history too.

I used to play the piano but am so rusty now I get no pleasure from it. I have a good sized garden but little knowledge as to what to do with it.

I am really the most artistically challenged person you will ever meet. I can’t draw or paint or sew or knit. I’ve tried those things. Never good results and they do not engage me. Nothing crafty has ever engaged me.

I am not sporty, not arty, not particularly musical really (the piano I worked hard at as a child:teenager, but I was not talented). I am academically able, but my brain is full! I feel a bit lost and would like something beyond family and work (must as I love both).

Gardening or learning a foreign language seem like possibilities. But I never get around to them. I am late to the menopause (only this year) and feel generally out of sorts and looking for something.

Lots of demands on money given the children but I earn a decent income and could afford to spend a bit (more regular outlay, rather than a huge initial spend) on something to engage me.

I do know this is an indulgent ask and that my searching for a hobby is not important in the scheme of things.

Thanks all.

I know you said you are peopled out but hear me out… I have very similar interests to you ( wouldn’t class myself as intellectual though!) and have adored returning to the piano after a 40 year hiatus. Lessons have changed for the better!

Last year I decided something was missing and I enquired about volunteering with the Samaritans. The training is quite intense and quite a few of our group have dropped out but I really love it. It’s very much about listening rather than talking and it is an honour to listen to some of the callers who are facing huge challenges and often have nowhere else to turn. Not all are suicidal or hugely distressing though a few are.

Im just throwing it in there for consideration. It’s flexible after the training period and I’ve met some amazing people there.

I also swim, read, garden, play piano, sing, do Pilates and walk with friends and dog.

Let us know what you try and what sticks.

@MatildaTheCat thank you for this suggestion. I have thought about it actually. By peopled out I mean I’m not looking for social opportunities. The Samaritans would be different I think. But it’s probably in the category of things to do when I’m retired. Partly because of the commitment. But also partly because my work can be emotionally draining at times. That said I do think it’s something I might be able to do. I’m a bit torn. I really do feel enthused and encouraged. Thank you.

This is a great thread OP, lots of ideas for you and others!!

By the way, re me suggesting horse riding- I'm a bit of a fatty (105kg) and aged 59. I had to find a school that could, as you say, accommodate my arse 🤣.
Mind you, I did use to ride up until my 30's.
I go for a weekly 1:1 lesson and LOVE it so much!
Around here it's about £45 per half hour lesson or 1 hour hack. Half an hour lesson is ample. It's exhausting!
I got the gear off Amazon and it wasn't expensive.
Go on- give it a go!

.22 rifle prone 25 yard indoor shooting with paper targets, each set/card is 20 mins of complete silence and isolation, meditation breathing and a completly clear mind while engaging your core.

And as a small bonus kids and family can never join you unless they are a club member.