MN really IS full of jealous, angry people

[durundundun]

AIBU to think MN is full of people spitting tacks that some people have a lot of money. More money than them.

I'm currently reading threads bashing those than own Range Rovers calling the owners stupid, wankers and the like.
Several threads on private school VAT where the resentment is palpable and people are positively gleeful that the private school dc might suffer and end up in sone terrible school miles away from their homes.
Threads on women who do not work and have husbands who earn a lot. Apparently these women are not rich. Their husbands are and the women live 'off their dh money', are prostitutes, their rich husbands are definitely having affairs and the woman are definitely miserable but pretend to be happy and not contributing in any way to the marriage. The same accusers then have to do a completely illogical about face and say they don't think women who earn £2k a year whilst their dh earn over 100k are living off 'his money' because she is 'still contributing' because otherwise they are agreeing that the one who earns more is the boss. And they don't really believe that. That obviously just resent and have rage about rich women who have the choice Whether to work.
Threads on people seeking private diagnoses claiming the highly qualified and regulated consultants are on the make and unethically diagnosing anyone who pays. ^
Threads on how helping adult dc with their first hike purchase makes the dc spoilt, entitled and will definitely fail in life due to always needing help.^

It's just relentless. The people attacking anyone with money are just so illogical and contradictory that it is obvious they just can't stand rich people.

They are convinced anyone with money has gotten it through ill gotten gains, tax evasion, immoral means and when all else fails pulls out the 'new money' trope. ^

Bizarrely they seem to worship people who inherited money through no hard work, sacrifice or intelligence. They love referring to them as old money in the conversations putting down those who made a lot of money themselves.^

They sniffly state they wouldn't want^ a Range Rover if it was given to them/private education for their dc/access to private healthcare/the ability to choose whether to work or not.... basically anything money can buy that they don't already have is beneath their superior moral code. Because by the end of any debate they have to resort to trying to denigrate the rich person's morality^ as all their other attacks are shown to be illogical or weird.

In all honesty most people I know would be on their knees thanking all their Gods if they had no financial worries, no health care waitlists for their sick relatives and the sorts of small class sizes and facilities private schools offer to their kids.
It's kind of cringey reading it.

Any thread about inheritances always has some MNers saying that nobody should ever expect anything, even from their own parents, and if they do, then they’re ‘grabby’.

I often think that people who spout that sort of thing are those who know they’re never going to get anything, so they resent those who will.

And full of women who belive that if you want anything at all nice for yourself you are "grabby". How I detest that word.

I wonder if it feels better to feel you’re objecting on some sort of moral high ground, rather than just accepting feeling jealous.

As an example:

Private schools - lots of people want their children to have a similar experience to them and have no desire for Tovar's schools; are more interested in grammar schools; are perfectly happy with their state schools etc.

Private education doesn't guarantee you a place at Oxbridge, I know lots who went to good universities and STEM courses without. Definitely not important to me.

Massive cars:

We all know why people have range rovers, land rovers and obnoxiously sized vehicles and it's not because of their price, otherwise Lamborghinis, bentleys and other expensive cars would have the same reputation.

It doesn't take much critical thinking to realise not everyone wants the same things as you.

Yabu.

You can certainly have an opinion.

And back to the SAHM threads, there's a world of difference between posters advising that it doesn't feel "safe" for the SAHM putting themselves into a vulnerable position
and the posters accusing the SAHM to be... prostitutes.

What doesn't feel right is abusing people who have made different choices, pretending that someone earning more is not working hard, or not worth of his salary. What is terribly MN and ridiculous is moaning that you chose something that wouldn't pay well and then moan about it, and abuse others.

It would be easier to believe this if it wasn't for the name calling and nastiness. A debate based on values is so different to read than people throwing all manner of insults at people and insisting that they must be prostitutes or wankers or that their husbands are 100% shagging other women.

As others have said, it is very easy to see the motivations in people. I assume they think they are being clever but everyone can see that they are just being resentful

same with people who own a big-ish property.

Apparently it's not possible without family help. Back in the real world, some of us managed without any help whatsoever. Cue a lot of jealousy and resentment.

It's easier to despise people than recognising you made different choices which have consequences.

Absolutely this and I think recently on MN- last 3 years or so lots of posts about it this like the nouveau Roche are insecure about their choices, desperate to make the point about having earned their money rather than inherited it. Look the establishment are never going to let you in as you haven’t been born into that life, just accept it and stop taking it out on everyone who you think is fully of envy for your Range Rover!

But reasonable people who have strong feelings are very easy to identify on MN.

They aren't the ones being passive aggressive, calling SAHM prostitutes, insisting their dh are shagging other women, that their dc are too stupid to succeed without the advantages of private education or are gleeful at the thought of private school dc suffering.

It really is not hard to see which posters hold views based on ethics or beliefs and which are just raging with resentment isn't it.

They also firmly believe that people shouldn't be responsible for themselves, that their shortcomings are not their fault. They will often blame it on mental health or ADHD or something else similar they have boycotted.

They often attack the family unit and sneer at people with families.

They are absolutely fuming that the people that aren't work shy freeloaders have more than them and their counterparts. It's completely bizarre.

I wonder if it's easier to explain it as jealousy rather than engage with the moral arguments against things like private education and healthcare.

It's not the same delivery though, is it.
You can see posts that presents an opinion, and nasty posts just abusing for the sake of being vile.

If you read "all the private school pupils are little brats spoilt by their parents who will live off family handouts and have no idea about the real world and hard work" it's not about a moral argument, is it...

Riche not roche

@Goldenbear

Absolutely this and I think recently on MN- last 3 years or so lots of posts about it this like the nouveau Roche are insecure about their choices, desperate to make the point about having earned their money rather than inherited it. Look the establishment are never going to let you in as you haven’t been born into that life, just accept it

Classic example of the weird attack on self made wealth. Like it's some sort of insult. Self made billionaires don't crave to be 'let in'. They are so far beyond the wealth and more importantly hold so much more power than almost all 'aristocracy'. They aren't even looking at them. There is always the odd Philip Green type but the tech, manufacturing, telecoms, gig economy billionaires are not interested in some random English minor noble.

They aren't whatever it is you are imagining.

The Range Rover crowd are so touchy though, that’s why it’s so amusing. I saw a metallic pink wrapped one the other day and if you can’t laugh at that then sorry but you’re dead

My values mean that ensuring my family have a stable and comfortable life is paramount. I don’t think I’m that different to the majority in that respect.

Salary is always an important consideration when choosing a career as everyone needs to afford to live. I love my job and don’t need to work but I still wouldn’t do it for free. If you choose to sacrifice salary for a job then you are perfectly free to do that but it doesn’t mean that your values are any more valid than mine. Personally I think it’s only sensible to look at all aspects of a role before committing.

Fwiw, my dd would make an exceptional teacher, but she agrees that wouldn’t enjoy the role enough to compensate for the limited salary which is why she has decided on a different path. If others choose to accept the limited salary that is also their choice but we all have to live with the consequences of our decisions and I think life would be easier for many people if they realised that.

Maybe they’re sad too?

You reminded me of this:

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12288041/amp/Land-Rover-driver-mortified-note-saying-4x4-owners-free-NHS-penis-enlargement-therapy.html

@mewkins

None of us know who the hell posters really are. I imagine lots are living out their most fabulous alter egos and winding people up.
If it was just this it would be unfortunate behaviour. But worryingly you can see in the posts that these people get more and more wound up resulting in throwing worse and worse personal insults. They end up making up all sorts of quite farcical character assassinations of whoever they are attacking. It's hard to imagine they aren't getting genuinely more and more full of rage. It's not doing anyone any good.

Yes, of course they do so what have they got to prove? How many billionaires are On MN though?

it is imagined on your part, what isn’t imagined is the huge gap between the richest and the poorest in this country and how that is getting worse. The demise of the middle classes, all classes actually, leaving the richest few. Perhaps if you have grown up in Britain that changing landscape is shocking.

YANBU at all.

@Goldenbear

Yes, of course they do so what have they got to prove? How many billionaires are On MN though?
You think American, Indian, Thai, Uzbek billionaires who become tech,gig economy etc billionaire do it because they want to prove that they belong to British aristocratic circles?? 😂

But you are right. I doubt they are in MN.

But I do think your appreciation of and reverence of British aristocracy is somewhat dated. I really don't think these are circles many people even care about anymore. Weathly or not. They are just random people who appear on society pages at some wedding every couple of years

This.

I think that you have been irritated by the lack of sympathy about private schools and vat. I think you have therefore decided to frame this as jealousy and people being unkind and bitter rather than people thinking that it is morally and politically the right thing for vat to be charged.