MN really IS full of jealous, angry people

[durundundun]

AIBU to think MN is full of people spitting tacks that some people have a lot of money. More money than them.

I'm currently reading threads bashing those than own Range Rovers calling the owners stupid, wankers and the like.
Several threads on private school VAT where the resentment is palpable and people are positively gleeful that the private school dc might suffer and end up in sone terrible school miles away from their homes.
Threads on women who do not work and have husbands who earn a lot. Apparently these women are not rich. Their husbands are and the women live 'off their dh money', are prostitutes, their rich husbands are definitely having affairs and the woman are definitely miserable but pretend to be happy and not contributing in any way to the marriage. The same accusers then have to do a completely illogical about face and say they don't think women who earn £2k a year whilst their dh earn over 100k are living off 'his money' because she is 'still contributing' because otherwise they are agreeing that the one who earns more is the boss. And they don't really believe that. That obviously just resent and have rage about rich women who have the choice Whether to work.
Threads on people seeking private diagnoses claiming the highly qualified and regulated consultants are on the make and unethically diagnosing anyone who pays. ^
Threads on how helping adult dc with their first hike purchase makes the dc spoilt, entitled and will definitely fail in life due to always needing help.^

It's just relentless. The people attacking anyone with money are just so illogical and contradictory that it is obvious they just can't stand rich people.

They are convinced anyone with money has gotten it through ill gotten gains, tax evasion, immoral means and when all else fails pulls out the 'new money' trope. ^

Bizarrely they seem to worship people who inherited money through no hard work, sacrifice or intelligence. They love referring to them as old money in the conversations putting down those who made a lot of money themselves.^

They sniffly state they wouldn't want^ a Range Rover if it was given to them/private education for their dc/access to private healthcare/the ability to choose whether to work or not.... basically anything money can buy that they don't already have is beneath their superior moral code. Because by the end of any debate they have to resort to trying to denigrate the rich person's morality^ as all their other attacks are shown to be illogical or weird.

In all honesty most people I know would be on their knees thanking all their Gods if they had no financial worries, no health care waitlists for their sick relatives and the sorts of small class sizes and facilities private schools offer to their kids.
It's kind of cringey reading it.

You misunderstand me. I'm not saying rich women need to jump through hoops to avoid being the target of negativity. I'm saying the negativity is often about the action/behaviour not the wealth. So a person of limited means who drove a car people disapproved of, lived off their husband and believed in VAT on private schools would also be criticised by people who disagree with these things. You only have to consider the 'vitriol' directed at people on benefits who don't work to see disapproving of lifestyle choices doesn't need to be based in jealousy.

Of course you are correct. It’s human nature - one of the 7 deadly sins.

It’s more and more prevalent as the rich poor gap gets wider, and people get angrier (another one).

Joy at another’s misfortune (as can be seen be the widespread glee at VAT on ps fees), grief at others’ prosperity. Etc etc etc.

So you thought a thread to stir it all up would help? Crack on.

I'm currently reading threads bashing those than own Range Rovers calling the owners stupid, wankers and the like.

The arrogance. Not everyone likes range rovers. We're not all jealous ooooo

My preferred car would be a mini, a convertible, or classic car. Not everyone has your taste or is jealous of that.

Not everyone is pro-car anyway, and dislike consumerism and car culture, and the effects on safety, air pollution, congestion, resource consumption.

It's THIS!! Why do you do this? Why do you think this way? Why are you so combative and sarcastic?

Totally agree, nobody can celebrate anybody else’s success. But I don’t think that’s the problem, I think the problem is women not lifting up/supporting other women and that has nothing to do with success.

The wonderful thing about mumsnet is the ability to pick & choose what you read & what you skip on over. We all know from the titles what threads are going to turn into a cluster fuck. You choose your own experience here.

I don't even think it's solely money oriented, I've seen multiple threads (including some of my own) where there is a genuine ask for help and advice and people are so rude, condescending and bitchy. It's the keyboard warriors who would never say such things in real life who try and bring people down anonymously, it's really sad

Britain, if this is the country you are referring to is one of the most unequal countries in the world in terms of wealth distribution. This has not always been the case and has really happened over the last 20 years, maybe many Mnetters are thinking of their upbringing and life when younger compared to now- maybe they are wondering when that happened.

I was supposed to add that I agree with Titusmoan.

There are WAY too many private school VAT threads all saying the same things. The election hasn't even happened yet so I guess it will only get worse.

Re. The old money/new money thing though that's mainly wealthy people (or they think they are) bitchimv at people who are a different type of rich. I find it quite amusing.

Pride, or vainglory, is also one of the 7 deadly sins.

@5128gap you are right. Vitriol is not always driven by jealousy. There is the vitriol aimed at those with little from those who smugly tell them they are in the position they are in because they are feckless.

I have a sneaking suspicion if we did a Venn diagram you would find a lot of the nasty posts aimed at both groups are written by the same people. Just angry, resentful people who get some sort of feeling of ...relief? Reclaimed power? Satisfaction?Something ...by condemning everyone that is not them. Some peculiar enjoyment in upsetting other people. It's the behaviour of hurting people. They hurt so they want everyone else to hurt too.

Can’t stand big 4x4s. Have horse and am stage where I prob need to buy one to cart horse around.

So, I’m w you on the envy w a lot of posters. But the Range Rover thing… terrible for environment, terrible for other road users…. Though I ll soon be hypocrite. They are awful things.

Firstly, this board is AIBU. It's for opinions rather than advice or support. So I'd expect a bit more drama. And if a random person asks me my anonymous opinion, I'm going to give it more bluntly than if a friend asks me about their personal situation.

Secondly, people seem to struggle with the idea that you can think something is a bad idea without being jealous or spiteful. Politically and societally,over the past thirty to forty years there has been a move towards individualism. The impact of one person driving a range rover or eating meat or flying multiple times each year is small but when lots of people are doing it, it has a bigger impact. Passing wealth down to your children is nice. But when wealth is passed down through many generations it creates entrenched advantages. That isn't fair. No, life isn't fair, but it's rational the prefer things which make life more fair rather than less fair.

In general, people don't like it when other people disagree with them and criticise the things they are doing. It's easier to write that off as jealousy.

"They love referring to them as old money in the conversations putting down those who made a lotof money themselves."^

Eh? I think it's more a case of taking issue with the class system whereby while MC people work hard etc, they basically have to just not cock everything up in order to thrive, whereas people lower down the monied advantages chain have a whole load of other issues to contend with like equal access to the same opportunities in the first place.

I agree, but there's also a lot of benefits bashing. One thread sticks in my memory where the op was jealous of the local homeless alcoholics who were living the life of riley while she had to work. You can't win 🤷

I think the fault lies with the goadie posts. The very well off folk I know don't boast about it. The not so well off folk boast more .

The irony is I find it's not the 'old money' that is bitching. It is people with very normal amounts of money who weirdly put down new money and hold up old money like they think the old money would even look at them!

I think it's because they look at old money and know it's never going to be attainable so they don't have to feel insecure about themselves. It's not their fault they were not born into old money.

But new money is different. These are people just like them who unlike them, became phenomenally wealthy. And that makes the attackers feel resentful. Because it should have been them in their minds. People hate their own rising to the top. Tall poppy and all that. They have to try to bring them down.

Oh come on, the divide between the rich and poor has never been greater and people are fed up and resentful - are you really surprised? and another reason to get those Tory bastards out!

You do get to choose the threads you read - so every person's experience is going to be different.

(I read on here too often but missed any vitriolic reference to Range-Rovers etc. - probably because cars only interest me when my own fails its MOT.)

My favourite thread yesterday was on someone finding the name of an early 20C piece of music (by Percy Grainger as it turned out) after offering very few clues.

There is amazing expertise on here - on so many topics - and so much warmth and willingness to help total strangers.

Yes! Amen. Range Rover owners in cities are dickheads, and it’s got shite all to do with money.

@CoffeeCup14 puts it nicely.

I haven’t been on any of the threads mentioned, but it’s like saying I’m jealous of religious people if I say something on a thread about religion. When I have zero interest in religion and I’m not jealous of people who have faith. You can have an opinion even if you don’t know what you’re talking about sometimes.

You honestly sound like you're trying to be divine more than anyone OP.

People get irritated by the threads where someone asks 'I have £100k salary, why am I skint?' Because it's just ridiculous.

Accusing everyone of being jeh-Luss and giving armchair psychology theories just makes you sound insufferable.

I wouldn't have a Range Rover under any circumstances. And we did say no to private school - GPs offered to pay, we refused and sent our dc to the local comprehensive.

Just because you would make certain choices don't assume the rest of us would.