Husband to not attend nursery graduation?

[AleenaM]

Nursery graduation at the end of the month and summer party right after, but husband says he has a sports/hobby competition that day. Don't know if he's joking but even the suggestion annoys me.

AIBU to expect him to attend party? Child won't graduate again but I'm sure they'll be competitions again. He is just getting back into this sport and it's a regional competition, it's not like a once in a lifetime olympics or something ...

Why is “out of touch” to think it’s nonsense. How do kids get any sense of perspective on life when we treat normal life transitions like some massive achievement. Same with the over the top primary leaving dos some schools have now. It’s getting insane. Gowns and mortar boards for 4 yr olds leaving nursery is crazy - doesn’t make people out of touch 🙄

It's on a Saturday

In that case, it's probably that none of us would go, including DD!

Perfect ! Me too.

The mistake is calling it a graduation. If OP had just said leaver’s party she wouldn’t have got all these stupid frothy Mumsnet responses with posters trying to outdo eachother with how RIDICULOUS they think it is and how they would NEVER stoop so low as to attend something like that.

I so agree with this !

Just skimming the thread, and as I suspected when I read the op, it's been totally derailed by pointless posts on the merits or not of a nursery graduation.

Which isn't the point.

Is this another thing in a long line of your husband putting himself first and expecting you to be the default parent; or is a complete one off for him? If it's the former, that's what you need to talk about op and I'd start another thread without mentioning the specific event he doesn't want to attend.

As long as the child is having fun, I don’t think both parents need to be there if one of them has something else on.

A graduation from nursery is not an important occasion.

Probably. But I think the general opinion that it doesn't need both parents to attend would still be the same.

This sounds utterly ridiculous. By all means you do you Op and fill your boots but really you should respect your husband’s common sense wishes if it’s not his thing and stop being so controlling.

It's still a no.... Yabu

There won’t be another graduation? Except there probably will be at least a couple of this stupid trend continues.

They are still plenty hours in the day for learning, we learn the songs at the 15 minute grouo time. And even learning the songs, learning to sit, learning to listen, learning to follow actions and follow instruction is all part of learning.

these graduations aren’t for the children , it’s more for the parents.

I’m sure a nursery graduation is very cute, and helps kids with the idea of transition, but it’s not really a milestone event. There’s no need for both parents to be there.

I know these things can feel big when you child is tiny, esp if they’re your first, but they’re unlikely even to remember it. Save the three line whip for actual milestones

“graduate “ 🙄

One parent is plenty.

If she called it a leaver's party she'd still be told she is unreasonable to expect her DH to cancel his event to go!

You will look back one day and laugh at how seriously you took this. Yes it’s a lovely thing but honestly it’s a little gathering with a photo opportunity. In 10 years you won’t remember the names of half the classmates and your child won’t have a clue.

That’s far too sensible an approach. Mouth -frothing seems more appropriate!

We didn't have a graduation as such for dc1 , but his nursery did do a leavers garden tea party, which was really sweet. Mini cakes and biscuits the kids made with a 'tea' of orange or blackcurrant squash. Each kid got a little certificate with a personalised message.

As with all things nursery/school related sometimes both parents simply cannot be there. There's often little no real notice given for these events. Work and social events do often clash.

All that matters is that there's one familiar face in the crowd for dc.

I'd loved doing these things on my own, special memories. H has done sports days and the fairs I couldn't attend and he feels the same.

Pick your parenting battles. This isnt one to fight over. Compromise, because you may have to miss the first assembly, awards giving, sports days, school fair - which there are many, or any other event.

This is a special event, I can see why you want him to go! It’s also a social event for parents to meet other parents (often going to same school!) and you’d expect most will be there together. Personally I would be annoyed and I think Yanbu … I was suprised when I saw the vote!

My husband and I went along on our grandson's last day at nursery. (Parents both working.)

We sang a couple of songs and sloped off home.

That was it.

For what it’s worth no, I don’t think it requires both parents in attendance at all although I know my DH would probably want to be there. I’d be going regardless unless there was a very good reason why I wasn’t able to attend. Each to their own on that front.

However, the thread has been derailed by posters sniffily picking apart the concept of ‘graduation’ from nursery school and falling over themselves trying to be the most scathing, although I don’t know why I’m surprised.

Nursery graduation?! 🤣🤣🤣

Omg, that must absolutely be yet another import from across the pond! Hahaha!

For heaven's sake, what will be the next ridiculous thing, I wonder?

When you finish nursery your mum or dad or whoever normally does it picks you up, says cheerio and thanks to the staff and then goes home as usual. That's the way it's done!

Yes, but there are often other real life events that may clash. Only one parent needs to help network for dc.

This is another one of those things not helped by SM posts with 'oh his little face when he realised dad was there' with video of child crying/waving manically !

He won't graduate again?
I think 4 is a bit early to write him off
Seriously OP, its not a big deal and while DS did "graduate" he just left to go to school really. The photo was cute but I don't even know where it is now.
Never occured to me to invite DH