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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband to not attend nursery graduation?

628 replies

AleenaM · 09/06/2024 11:30

Nursery graduation at the end of the month and summer party right after, but husband says he has a sports/hobby competition that day. Don't know if he's joking but even the suggestion annoys me.

AIBU to expect him to attend party? Child won't graduate again but I'm sure they'll be competitions again. He is just getting back into this sport and it's a regional competition, it's not like a once in a lifetime olympics or something ...

OP posts:
FrancisSeaton · 09/06/2024 12:11

AleenaM · 09/06/2024 12:09

To add a few more details. It's on a Saturday not during a work day. It's at a forrest nursery and they have a small graduation for school leavers, followed by a big outdoor annual summer party which we've attended for the past 3 years. We know the large majority of the families.

The sports competition happens 6 times this year and you sign up to compete, it's a hobby. It's not like he qualified and can only win or compete on this date. There's another competition a month after.

Jeeze give him a break if he's attended the last few years

FanofLeaves · 09/06/2024 12:11

Beezknees · 09/06/2024 12:09

I don't remember a single thing from nursery and barely anything from primary school. Do you?

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Yes, of course I do- lots. I find it a bit worrying that you don’t, to be honest. You attend primary school until age 11! Do you have issues with your long term memory in general?

SilentSilhouette · 09/06/2024 12:11

AleenaM · 09/06/2024 12:09

To add a few more details. It's on a Saturday not during a work day. It's at a forrest nursery and they have a small graduation for school leavers, followed by a big outdoor annual summer party which we've attended for the past 3 years. We know the large majority of the families.

The sports competition happens 6 times this year and you sign up to compete, it's a hobby. It's not like he qualified and can only win or compete on this date. There's another competition a month after.

And? He's attended the past 3 and this year he'd rather do his sporting thing. It's no big deal. You and your child go, and he goes to do his sports.

NoSettlingYet · 09/06/2024 12:12

Never had these and I would eye roll if invited but I would make sure one of my husband or I attended. Course both of you don’t need to be there. But we have always had an equal relationship so it would be fine whoever went. Depends on your parenting dynamic who goes.

Beezknees · 09/06/2024 12:12

FanofLeaves · 09/06/2024 12:11

Yes, of course I do- lots. I find it a bit worrying that you don’t, to be honest. You attend primary school until age 11! Do you have issues with your long term memory in general?

Edited
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What a ridiculous thing to say 😂😂😂

BridasShieldWall · 09/06/2024 12:12

This is just one of a long list of events at nursery and school that are put on for the children and parents can attend. At primary there is an endless list of harvest festivals, nativity plays, carol concerts, classroom events to show what they have been learning in class, plays, primary leaver events etc. I don’t want to sound churlish about them as I realise they take a lot of effort from the nurseries and schools to put on. I also loved going and seeing my children in plays and what they were covering in school. I think it is important to go to show support to your children and that you are interested in what they are doing. I do think calling it a graduation is overkill though.

However, you won’t be able to make all of them and I do feel that it is unfair on children whose parents are unable to make the events (often a grandparent attended). As long as your husband attends others he doesn’t have to go to all of them. Your child can have fun showing his Dad the pictures and talking about it afterwards.

Enjoy it will it lasts as there is hardly anything at secondary school.

Justyouwaitandseeagain · 09/06/2024 12:12

WeakAsIAm · 09/06/2024 12:03

In the nicest possible way OP prepare for many years of tedious mediocrity sitting through hours of the same 2 or 3 pretentious children murder a song whilst you wait for your child to say 3 words or better still hold up a leaf.
Honestly by your third child you will be over the celebrations these schools/nurseries plan especially the amount you've had to spend on a costume never to be worn again.
Go because your child would benefit from seeing your face in the crowd but honestly seeing that smile when they spot you is about as good as the event will get.

I've sent grandparents over the years just so LO can see someone they know but honestly the only memories I have of these events are praying for them to end. Boring boring boring. If you're smart you can broker a deal with your DP that they have to 50/50 so at least you don't have to sit through every one.

😂❤️

RockahulaRocks · 09/06/2024 12:13

DH isn’t coming to DD’s nursery graduation in August, I don’t expect her to bat an eyelid that he’s not there, she’ll be perfectly happy being made a fuss of and having me and her friends around.

PBandJ111 · 09/06/2024 12:14

Ffs. It’s a nursery graduation. What is the world coming to. You do realise your kid has to go through almost 18 years of education still?

FairIsleCromartyForties · 09/06/2024 12:14

Graduation from nursery? I've heard it all now Grin

StormingNorman · 09/06/2024 12:14

It’s nursery not university. Let him go to his hobby.

Whatafustercluck · 09/06/2024 12:15

Nursery graduation is a new thing. I wasn't working so attended. Dh was working so didn't. No big deal. I took photos, made a fuss of dd. She was just happy to have one of us there, but seemed a bit perplexed about it all really. University graduation is different.

protectthesmallones · 09/06/2024 12:15

My ExH didn't even know which nursery they attended!

I've not heard of a graduation from nursery before.

HcbSS · 09/06/2024 12:16

University graduation - of course he should be there
Nursery graduation is a tacky non event.

FanofLeaves · 09/06/2024 12:16

Beezknees · 09/06/2024 12:12

What a ridiculous thing to say 😂😂😂

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I definitely think you’re in the minority to barely remember anything about a setting that you attended nearly every day for five years, and presumably had friends and did lots of different things, school trips, sports days, SATS, favourite or disliked teachers etc…yeah that is a bit strange.

Aligirlbear · 09/06/2024 12:16

Totally with your husband on this one. It’s your DCs last day at nursery, they haven’t spent 3 years + working hard for a degree and in all probability will have no recollection of the day either as they grow up. Both my now adult nieces had a “graduation” - neither can remember a thing about it and laugh about the concept having recently had their uni graduation.

Maray1967 · 09/06/2024 12:17

As it’s a Saturday and other families are there together, I’d expect mine to go, and he would have gone.

Boomer55 · 09/06/2024 12:18

Nursery graduation?

How silly is this? 🙄

LittleCarrot12 · 09/06/2024 12:20

These comments show how out of touch mumsnet is. Our graduation was last week and was lovely. Mostly 2 parents with each child other than a few single parents. It’s he mad if my husband did this.

ShrinkingEveryDay · 09/06/2024 12:20

OptimismvsRealism · 09/06/2024 11:58

Nursery is just a place you pay to send your kids to stop them coming a cropper while you are working, no? Do dogs graduate from their dogwalkers too?

🤣🤣

kitsuneghost · 09/06/2024 12:20

Nursery graduation??? Really???
Think I would give it a hard pass too.

Purplecatshopaholic · 09/06/2024 12:21

Graduation from nursery is a thing now? Like Prom, and Gender Reveals and Baby Showers? Jeezo. They aren’t even likely to remember! Surely as long as one of you goes that’s fine? I’m with Team Husband on this one - sporting event sounds way more fun

YellowHairband · 09/06/2024 12:21

If we had this, it's probable that only one of us would go, purely for the child's sake. It wouldn't bother me at all if DH couldn't go because he had something else on - and it wouldn't bother him if I couldn't go.

BlondeFool · 09/06/2024 12:21

AleenaM · 09/06/2024 12:09

To add a few more details. It's on a Saturday not during a work day. It's at a forrest nursery and they have a small graduation for school leavers, followed by a big outdoor annual summer party which we've attended for the past 3 years. We know the large majority of the families.

The sports competition happens 6 times this year and you sign up to compete, it's a hobby. It's not like he qualified and can only win or compete on this date. There's another competition a month after.

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. You have YEARS of school events ahead. You know the other families so you won't be on your own. Total non-issue.

TellMeWhoTheVillainsAre · 09/06/2024 12:22

FanofLeaves · 09/06/2024 12:00

just to point out, some of these children are going to be almost 5 come late summer/when they start school. I can assure you that they DO remember lots from nursery at this age. We are not talking about babies here.

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They don't remember a whole lot 4 or 5 years down the line. Their might remember the odd moment or event but as I already mentioned, I have 4. They only memorized they have of their nursery graduation is from looking at photos and "remembering" that way. If I asked them who was there, who they sat beside, what they sang, they wouldn't remember.