Husband to not attend nursery graduation?

[AleenaM]

Nursery graduation at the end of the month and summer party right after, but husband says he has a sports/hobby competition that day. Don't know if he's joking but even the suggestion annoys me.

AIBU to expect him to attend party? Child won't graduate again but I'm sure they'll be competitions again. He is just getting back into this sport and it's a regional competition, it's not like a once in a lifetime olympics or something ...

😂

just to point out, some of these children are going to be almost 5 come late summer/when they start school. I can assure you that they DO remember lots from nursery at this age. We are not talking about babies here.

What's the issue if they do remember? They'll remember that their mum was there, but their father was busy? That's not a problem is it? He's been every year prior to this so it doesn't sound like he's generally uninvolved and never attends any event involving his child.
Within a family, sometimes different people have conflicting events. It's a non issue.
My dad didn't come to every school event of mine - I remember this but not in a negative way. He's a great dad and grandad. He just couldn't always attend things.

It's best not to make it into a massive thing or the kids get upset

You’ve misinterpreted what I was saying, of course it doesn’t matter really if both parents aren’t there but it’s certainly nice to have one of them watching if possible. I said the above in response to another poster that seemed to regard small children as little more than potatoes with no ability to create lasting memories.

I think most people here have experience of children, their memories and the difference between them and potatoes. The main point is that whether they remember or not, it's really not a big deal.

Ah, so it's a fun and important social event for you. But for him, it's not as important or fun as his sport, and that's entirely his prerogative. Your kid won't mind as long as one of you is there.

Child won't graduate again

Low expectations for him then? 🤣

Nah..Sounds nonsense! As you say, you and DH have been for the last 3 years a row. It really isn't important that that your DC is now old enough to finish nursery. I'd be joining DH on his sporting day and have a nice lunch out.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of your husband’s choices though… you don’t GRADUATE nursery. You LEAVE.
Your child reaches a certain age, you stop paying your money. That’s it. Not graduation.
I’m actually all for any excuse for a party - a leaver’s party is lovely. But it is NOT a graduation 🙄

He is not being unreasonable not wanting to go either a faux “graduation “ or the annual nursery party.

You are being unreasonable making it out to be a significant event when it really isn’t. If you’ll enjoy it go, he should be allowed to say it isn’t his thing.

I'm off to the supermarket. I want a graduating ceremony at the checkout.

YABVU, it’s nursery FFS

I’m curious how the OP has chosen to split childcare and parenting until this point.
I’m willing to wager that it is her who has done the majority of parenting - probably the decision maker on which nursery, most likely did most of the nursery runs, getting the child ready etc. If you make nursery Your Job, it’s no surprise when the other parent doesn’t see their attendance for events as necessary.

A nursery leaving situation is all very cute but hardly a mandatory attendence for both parents scenario.

Nursery graduation? 🤣 Do they get little caps?

OP, my ex never attended things like this for the children, not nursery or school and never prioritises the children. They notice and question why. All I can say is that daddy is busy and can't make it.

Nursery graduations are a thing now, just like school plays, assemblies etc. people may think it's a ridiculous concept but kids love them and feel special leaving somewhere they've been for years more than likely.

Exactly so!

Are you in fact pi55ed off with him not being there for the social element after?

Graduation from nursery? Don’t think I’d even bother mentioning it tbh

Usually! And gowns 😊

OP, is it a Russell Group Nursery?

If not, YABU!!!

It is a party for the end of nursery, @AleenaM - it may seem like a big deal to you, but there will be plenty more, far, far more important milestones in your child’s life. Your child will have one parent there - I honestly don’t think you should be making such a big deal of your dh not being there.

Sorry, but you are being very unreasonable.

My son's nursery did a graduation and summer party. I couldn't go because of work.

DH (who is ds dad) went.

DS had a lovely afternoon and never batted an eyelid that I wasn't there. He has never mentioned it since either.

As long as one of you goes, it really won't matter.

I'm struggling to picture this.

My DC are 21 and 24 and a nursery graduation was not a thing. Nor did they 'graduate' from primary school.

They had awards ceremonies in Y11 and Y13 when they received their GCSE and A Level certificates. And that is it for their school years.

Bonkers

I didn't go to nursery and started school the April before my June 5th birthday. I went to an infants school and when we moved up to Juniors, there was absolutely no ceremony - we just left the infants in July and started the juniors in September.

There was absolutely no ceremony at the end of juniors, nor when I was 16 and all that happened when I was 18 was I finished A levels and didn't go in again.

I do think that ramping of the "big deal" of moving from one phase to another is causing some children anxiety.