Husband to not attend nursery graduation?

[AleenaM]

Nursery graduation at the end of the month and summer party right after, but husband says he has a sports/hobby competition that day. Don't know if he's joking but even the suggestion annoys me.

AIBU to expect him to attend party? Child won't graduate again but I'm sure they'll be competitions again. He is just getting back into this sport and it's a regional competition, it's not like a once in a lifetime olympics or something ...

Both parents don't need to turn up.

I only turned up because I wanted to talk to a couple of parents.

University graduations are a different matter that's as long as the person hasn't graduated 4+ times. I think one of my friends' had his wife and children going to his 4th luckily enough for his mum and one of his sisters. 😂

It's nursery. They will not remember it.

It's just.... a little end of nursery celebration / leavers' party.

Frame it like this and see what you both think?

The unreasonableness is you going, not him declining, whatever the reason.

Start as you mean to go on with ridiculous nonsense such as this, be a loving parent and not make 'big' events out of nothing.

Nursery is just a place you pay to send your kids to stop them coming a cropper while you are working, no? Do dogs graduate from their dogwalkers too?

just to point out, some of these children are going to be almost 5 come late summer/when they start school. I can assure you that they DO remember lots from nursery at this age. We are not talking about babies here.

I am another one saying nursery graduation isn’t a new thing. My 17 yo had one. It’s fine for only one parent to go. Pretty sure I went on my own.

Over the the years sometimes I went to school stuff, sometimes Dad, sometimes both of us. I don’t recall missing any though some parents did so DS would have understood so long as we explained in advance so he wasn’t looking for us.

I never went to my son’s nursery “graduation” either. I must be a bad mum.

Thankfully the nursery made it clear that parents were welcome, but would be in the background and not be the focus of the “event” so any dc whose parents couldn’t make it wouldn’t feel left out.

It is just another one of those pretend event labels along with proms, baby showers, gender reveals that seems to have been developed to manipulate people into attending and spending. Parents of dc leaving nursery need their annual leave for starting school, not this bollocks.

Have a last day at nursery party by all means, but nobody, especially the dc who are going through a big change for them, needs this over hyped nonsense.

Yeah I feel it’s an American import. I remember my friends kid graduated from nursery back in 2008. I think that was the first I’d heard of it within the UK.

Yes that’s right, and when the children are in nursery they just sit like Maris piper potatoes awaiting the end of the day. They don’t learn, socialise, play, forge friendships with peers or develop in Any way at all whilst there. It’s basically a holding pen for the children of workers.

What an idiotic comment.

We need to stop celebrating every move kids make. Where is the incentive to work hard, put in effort and feel proud of achievements if kids graduate and party for simply being.
It would be lovely for parents to attend together however he doesn’t want to. There will be other celebrations he can do on his own.

Of course! Poppy would've been devastated if we hadn't been there with all her little doggie friends all dressed up in their little graduation outfits and having doggie cake 🎂! How heartless can you get?!

In the nicest possible way OP prepare for many years of tedious mediocrity sitting through hours of the same 2 or 3 pretentious children murder a song whilst you wait for your child to say 3 words or better still hold up a leaf.
Honestly by your third child you will be over the celebrations these schools/nurseries plan especially the amount you've had to spend on a costume never to be worn again.
Go because your child would benefit from seeing your face in the crowd but honestly seeing that smile when they spot you is about as good as the event will get.

I've sent grandparents over the years just so LO can see someone they know but honestly the only memories I have of these events are praying for them to end. Boring boring boring. If you're smart you can broker a deal with your DP that they have to 50/50 so at least you don't have to sit through every one.

Ffs 😂

Even more reason to end such nonsense and not participate. Making normal things to be 'big' events can only contribute to mental health issues in later life when one or more of them don't go as planned.

See all the threads about school proms, hen/stag dos, 'big' birthdays and the issues these can cause.

Oh get a grip.

Nursery graduation is a ridiculous look at me social media moment and if you feel the need to have your kid go and go yourself all well and good but treat it as the frivolous nonsense it is . Don't be so ridiculous as to expect your husband to cancel his event.

Mine both had a nursery "graduation". With a cardboard graduation cap! Neither can remember them. I went to one (dh couldn't as working), and grandparents did 2nd one as we were both working so couldn't make it. Am glad they could go for us - as it is nice is someone from the family can go. However, there will be kids with no family members there (as are working). Nurseries are usually good at making the kids all feel great and not worried about it.
At least you can go. I understand you are cross as henis putting a hobby before your child. However, from his point of view he is probably thinking they won't know / remember, and that you will be there. Just tell him your expectations now re primary school xmas plays or sports day (but be aware school don't always give parent a lot of notice regarding the dates!)

Nursery graduation?
They won't graduate again

I certainly hope they will. A pre-school education won't get them a good job.

Nursery graduation really isn't a big deal. If he misses actual life events that he could easily attend then he'd be unreasonable.

Yabu.

I know some schools do this, it's tedious but as a parent I'd make every effort to go. But I don't think it's something both needs to go to, and I wouldn't expect us to change plans so long as one of us was free.

You're child has achieved aging. It's not like in American schools where they have to pass criteria to move up or resit the year. It's just a party to mark leaving nursery

YABU.
Nursery Graduation is really not a major life event.
You will look back in years to come and wonder why you were worrying!

Aww I would go to a dog graduation all day long

To add a few more details. It's on a Saturday not during a work day. It's at a forrest nursery and they have a small graduation for school leavers, followed by a big outdoor annual summer party which we've attended for the past 3 years. We know the large majority of the families.

The sports competition happens 6 times this year and you sign up to compete, it's a hobby. It's not like he qualified and can only win or compete on this date. There's another competition a month after.

I don't remember a single thing from nursery and barely anything from primary school. Do you?

It is to kids, it’s very sweet and it feels like a big occasion to them. Also, for my kids, everyone had two parents there apart from a single mom who had a grandmother too. I wouldn’t want my kid to feel one of their parents didn’t value what’s important to them and feel different to classmates. Of course if it was unavoidable, then you manage that but at least make the effort!