Husband to not attend nursery graduation?

[AleenaM]

Nursery graduation at the end of the month and summer party right after, but husband says he has a sports/hobby competition that day. Don't know if he's joking but even the suggestion annoys me.

AIBU to expect him to attend party? Child won't graduate again but I'm sure they'll be competitions again. He is just getting back into this sport and it's a regional competition, it's not like a once in a lifetime olympics or something ...

This.

Finishing nursery is not a big deal.

I get where you’re coming from but we found it a really useful way of finding out how she’s developing socially and whether she was on track for starting school (as we have the option to defer). I suppose we could’ve just had that conversation without the need for a formal evening but it was reassuring and useful.

Nursery graduation?

Seriously? What classification is your kid being awarded?

There was an announcement about a graduation on my child’s nursery app which I didn’t pay much attention to as he has another two years before primary school. I assumed it’d just be a goodbye on their last day with maybe some cake or something. I didn’t realise kids in gowns with mortarboard caps was a thing and now that I do I think it’s adorable! Sure it’s not like the achievement of getting an actual degree but it’s not like it’s cheapening that achievement 😂. It’s just a cute little day.

Posher?! Hardly!

parents weren’t invited to our DCs nursery graduation, they just had a party day. We got sent really expensive prof photos to buy. They looked so ridiculous but also cute in caps and gowns with rolled up bits of paper and tiny milk teeth, that I couldn’t resist buying one. Years later I’m glad I did, however still think it’s a such a ludicrous idea - to qualify the parents just have to give a massive chunk of their salary to nursery

I agree with this. Is it assumed you always do all parenting when he trains / plays? Does he make it possible for you to have a hobby to this extent?

While the nursery graduation may be a pointless Americanism, it will happen once in your daughter's life. He will have plenty of chances to play sport and participate in hobbies. He won't get another chance to mark your daughter finishing nursery, and before he knows it, she'll be a teenager who might not always want him about.

There will be many, many events to mark.
Where do we draw the line?
End of Reception/Foundation?
End of YS1, end of YS3?

Exactly this!
This thread is peak mumsnet, where some people seem to be furious that there might be a little ceremony to mark kids leaving nursery to start school - purely because the word graduation is used 🫣
I remember it being a big deal for us as a family when they left nursery, it was a big milestone.

Whilst it is a natural progression as understood by grown ups, to a four year old that transition from leaving nursery to starting school can be a huge change.

For many, they've been at nursery since the end of mat leave. They've built up friendships and attachments. That 'graduation' (although, let's not get too hung up on that word) marks the end of something which has been a substantial part of that child's life.

The event may seem twee or unimportant to a grown up, but it's really interesting to read how many people don't think finishing nursery is a big deal.

Dear Lord, really?

I dont know what reception is, or indeed what YS1 or YS3 means, but leaving nursery to start school is a fairly obvious and logical milestone.

Why draw a line? Limit celebration of your child? Limit joy? Limit fun? God what a misery!

Exactly! It might be something silly to lots of these posters but it means the world to the children.

They might not need it but they want it . These moments might seem silly to adults but they are big milestones for the children. Having parents there for them is such a big deal. If my dh was working and couldn’t get it off then I’d understand but if he simply chose to go and do something else then I’d be upset with him.

Some interesting responses on here. I’m as cynical and miserable as they come but don’t see any harm in it at all. DD has her nursery “graduation” party next month. It’s a little disco in the afternoon, a small concert, and just a bit of fun to send off the kids going to school. Costs us nothing (beyond what we pay anyway), and is a nice bit of fun for the kids. Not sure what there is to dislike.

This! A cute little ceremony and a picture I’ll always treasure?! What’s wrong with that? Loads of things are stupid and pointless - painting your nails, eating dessert, taking up crochet…This thread is 99% miserable people I swear. Must be the Sunday scaries.

Ahem, eating dessert in not pointless. 😜

I'm thinking you just started a thread to get people to agree with you?

Graduation? That's a bit of an exaggeration, it's nursery. Honestly, I wouldn't cancel an existing commitment, there's 13 more years of school plus university to get through

I think it was a big deal for the kids too - marking the shift from nursery to school - saying goodbye to nursery staff who they known for years. Seems a shame for them to just go with no ceremony to end the chapter

YABU

a child’s nursery “graduation” is not a big thing. I didn’t even go to the nursery leaving events (not a fake graduation thankfully) for one of my kids, my parents went instead as I didn’t have the leave to take from work.

but yes nursery “graduations” have been a thing a good while now. Our nursery didn’t do them when mine were there but others did. My kids are 18 and 15 now.

I was on fence as a regional competition sounds like quite a big deal especially as he's only just back into his hobby, but if these regional comps come up regularly then I think the pre-school graduation should take precedence.

I have lovely memories of DS' pre-school 'graduation' (he is just about to finish high school now). I was a bit cynical about it at first - graduation for a 4 year old! - but it was a really lovely well organised event. It must have been at a weekend as loads of the mums and dads were there. A few year's later DD had a hospital appointment that clashed with hers so I went without DH just for the first half hour before dashing off. I remember being absolutely gutted about missing it.

Go and enjoy it whether your DH comes or not. However, if lots of the dad's are there, you will feel a bit twisty!