Husband to not attend nursery graduation?

[AleenaM]

Nursery graduation at the end of the month and summer party right after, but husband says he has a sports/hobby competition that day. Don't know if he's joking but even the suggestion annoys me.

AIBU to expect him to attend party? Child won't graduate again but I'm sure they'll be competitions again. He is just getting back into this sport and it's a regional competition, it's not like a once in a lifetime olympics or something ...

I agree with this. Yes, they are definitely silly and unnecessary but I won't miss my sons 'graduation' if his nursery does it, although I doubt they do, they seem quite sensible with this stuff. But I would go, and I'm sure I'd enjoy it. I wouldn't tell my partner to book a day off work for it, but a hobby or something I'm sure he could just do another time.

They aren't "milestones".

Finishing primary school and becoming a teenager are definitely milestones 🙄

In a year's time you'll cringe that you ever made this post. It's good for a parent to be there so the child doesn't feel neglected but it's really not worth both of you giving up time. We got my kids' folders of work/progress at the "ceremony" so maybe go out for tea that night and look through it together or something

Sounds hellish. I'd be trying to send my husband instead of going myself too 😆

I don't think there was a single dad a DD's "nursery graduation" and quite a few working mums were missing too - just nannies there for pick up. It's just nursery, it's not a big deal.

Going against the grain here but my DD’s nursery ‘graduation’ was quite a big deal for them - they did a little play and sang songs on a stage, and everyone collected a little box containing souvenirs. Some were quite emotional too. Might seem silly to some, but it felt like a milestone at the time. I’d understand if your DH was working but given it’s a sports event he could redo another time it seems a shame

Are they going to have prom?

We do a little 'graduation' for our leavers. They do a show for the parents, get their leavers certificate and a photo. For the ones not doing holiday club this is their big goodbye and an acknowledgement they are moving to school.

It is a milestone moment - many of the children will have been in our care since babies. Now they are moving on and growing up.

However, not all parents can make it. It is a day time event and we know some will have work commitments. Some parents ask grandparents to come in their place. Most children have one parent able to come or perhaps grandparents or close relations. Dont feel bad if you can't make it many places will post photos etc of the day.

I think the whole graduation from nursery is a ridiculous invention. My DC are 23 and 20 and it wasn’t a thing then.

I remember finding the notion of parents evening in nursery nonsense too.

I was thankful that my work place nursery didn't have too many day time 'for parent' events. The (scientific) campus has lots of staff from overseas and very few had grandparents or close relations nearby.

Mine started nursery at 12 weeks. I was baffled when I was invited to a parents evening for a baby. 😂

YABU

It only felt like a milestone because the nursery made it into one.
If you just treat it as a natural progression they will take it in their stride.

Reading all the threads on here about just how difficult parents are finding juggling work and childcare, it seems a bit remiss for childcare settings to place even more pressure on parents.

I work in a pre school and we have a little leavers thing. Honestly, as long as a child has one person who is special to them that’s enough. They don’t really notice and it doesn’t really mean very much to them - they’re 4. Don’t fall out with your Dh about it.

Shame so many parents posting here are so bothered by celebrating their children. Why not make a fuss over the kiddos and take joy in the little things? Time goes by so fast and last I heard, no one moans about missing a day of work on their deathbed. To see a smile on your child's face because you showed up for them is what it's all about. 🩷

It's not a graduation. It's a 4 year old on their last day of nursery. I bloody hate all this old rubbish of graduations for nursery children, up there with proms for Y6 now. Where will it ever end? Maybe that'll be it - proms for Nursery leavers?

It's another ridiculous trend from America. My grandchildren had this daft thing, where they were a little mortar board and cloak, photographed holding a sign that said "I'm going up to big school".................. I didn't attend

@Mumtobabyhavoc Someone is showing up!! Just not dad. So DC will have someone there. Mum. That’s good enough.

I love the idea that 4 year olds sing! They really don’t. Mine just brought home a load of art on their last day. Happily no leavers do until they got to y6.

The amount of posters not getting that is not about the importance of the event itself, but the child not seeing both parents there 🙄

You're considerably younger than me. And 20 years or less is comparatively recent.

I agree with everyone questioning why nurseries hold graduations, but equally, as it is happening, it will be a big deal to your daughter, and will matter that her parents are there. Even if it doesn't now, it will in future. It may also matter to your DH one days when he's realises how quickly your daughter has grown, and how much he has missed out.

when our eldest was tiny, my DH was very work focused and missed lots of events. It was only in lock down that he came to realise all of this, and it took quite a bit of getting over that he had missed out on our son being a toddler. Since then, he has made every effort to be at things that matter to DS, including dashing from a school nativity to get flight, and rearranging travel to make it to his Scouting silver award ceremony. He cannot get those early turns back though, and I know he still feels back that he put work in front of making it to early sports days and nativities.

While the nursery graduation may be a pointless Americanism, it will happen once in your daughter's life. He will have plenty of chances to play sport and participate in hobbies. He won't get another chance to mark your daughter finishing nursery, and before he knows it, she'll be a teenager who might not always want him about.

Ridiculous as a graduation from nursery sounds, it's not a huge event They're 4
As long as one parent is there, that's what matters
There are many firsts in the years ahead
Hopefully involving a cap and gown!
A tears in my eyes event for me!

They don't need both parents to be there. It's not an important milestone. My DH didn't go to any of our DCs as is a teacher and can't get time off for any school or nursery events. DCs didn't care, I was there afterall.