Husband to not attend nursery graduation?

[AleenaM]

Nursery graduation at the end of the month and summer party right after, but husband says he has a sports/hobby competition that day. Don't know if he's joking but even the suggestion annoys me.

AIBU to expect him to attend party? Child won't graduate again but I'm sure they'll be competitions again. He is just getting back into this sport and it's a regional competition, it's not like a once in a lifetime olympics or something ...

I wouldn't even bother going never mind dragging DH. What a load of nonsense, save the graduation for after a degree.

Of course she'll graduate again and it will be an actual graduation which would be a big deal.

Leaving nursery? One parent is enough if possible.

What on earth is a nursery graduation?

I have 3 kids (1 in nursery) and never ever heard of that.

Leaving nursery really isn't any form of achievement, nursery isn't compulsory and they don't 'do' anything during nursery worth 'graduating', its basically just childcare and an introduction to 'social' environments for them.

It's not a new thing from my area - my DC are 13, 8 and 6 and all had a nursery graduation (which we both attended as we were both free on the day) and I think it can be a nice way to do something fun for children who are leaving and moving on to "big" school.

However, it's really about your own DC and how they'll feel. If they wouldn't be fazed by just you turning up then I wouldn't mind my OH doing something else, but if they would want both of you to be there and him not being there would upset them, then I'd expect more effort to be made.

Forrest schools often are more community focused, and it is nice to have a day to say goodbye to school leavers.

YANBU - it isn't your sort of thing either, it is your shared child's sort of thing.

It doesn't necessarily require both parents but can be easily seen as a family event.

If you had a hairdresser appointment that day (to go with a cliche), would he be ok to go alone, would he expect you both to go, or would he expect you to change your plans to cover that alone?

At age 4, you can very easily prepare them for whoever is going to be there.
I would strongly advise raising your child to not expect both parents at all events. That's setting you all up for disappointment and stress.

Good grief! DH works in the Theatre and was rarely available for parents evenings, social evenings, school plays etc etc.

Just tell DC that sorry, Daddy is busy, but you will be there. What's the problem?

You are allowed to have a life aside from your DC.

if it's important to you, then go, if it's not important to DH, then let him do something else! Are you intending to go to every single football match/school play/social gathering in the future?? - There will be LOTS of stuff for DH to do.

I didn’t take the day off work to go to my youngests nursery graduation, her dad went, nothing awful happened and I’ve never regretted not being there. She’s 20 this year 🤷🏻‍♀️ I couldn’t get worked up about it tbh

I have a small child at nursery and I think her last day there will be emotional for a lot of reasons. But if either of us has to miss a "graduation ceremony" (TBH I don't know if ours even does one) for her we won't lose sleep over it. My uni graduation was an amazing day but it celebrated 4 years of hard slog, not a couple of years of play dough.

My kids went to different nursery/pre-school. One was a fancy private one and one was a preschool in a church hall. Dh went
to the graduation at the nursery as the kids did a little concert. At the pre school they at a (very) little leavers ceremony, which dh didn’t go to. I guess it depends what the graduation is. If it’s just a ‘good bye’ type thing, then it wouldn’t bother me, if it’s and concert that the children have been practicing for then i think it would be nice for him to attend to see your child perform.

@AleenaM is this actually some kind of joke? I can’t really believe it’s a serious question

Graduation 🤣. My son just left. What the heck?!

I expect this is a first child?

Nursery graduation? What a load of old tosh!

You need to lighten up a bit!! Its not University 😅

Did you have a Graduation when the baby exited the womb?..
Where on earth do all these dottyville ideas come from?

Four year olds 'Graduating' nursery? - Their Degrees : ''How not to bite or thump, but to ask nicely'' and ''How to sit still on the mat and listen at story time''

I’m with DH. YABVVVU and utterly ridiculous.

A nursery graduation.
What a joke.
I wouldn't attend if I was a dad and was off for the day.

So many miserable people posting. Misery loves company, I guess. 🤷‍♀️

I couldn’t read beyond ‘nursery graduation’ 😂
I wouldn’t be going either op!!! Ridiculous

'Child won't graduate again'. Raise your expectations! There is a high chance your child might go to university and properly graduate. Come back in 17 years' time with the complaint that your dh prefers his hobby to seeing your child graduate and you might get a bit of sympathy. Meanwhile, you attend. Your child will enjoy themselves and will be happy you are there.

The fact that you are posting about this is incredible to me. Your child is four- parenting gets much much much harder as they get older- don’t fall out with your husband over this or you will find navigating the teen years impossible together

For all of my formative years (and those of my two younger brothers), Dad never made it to any leavers assemblies, nativity plays, dance shows etc as he worked whilst my Mum was either working as a child minder/in a play school and studying part time. In fact, when I was between the ages of 8 and 13, my Dad’s job meant he had to stay around 90 miles away and was gone Monday morning until Friday night.

If you’re in any way concerned about the long term emotional or psychological effects that your DH missing this event may have on your child, please be reassured. All three of us have gone on to be successful, happy well rounded adults. DBs both have lovely wives, have 2 kids each, good jobs, own their own homes. I am also happily married, no kids but 3 cherished dogs, thriving career, own home and plans to retire at 50 (7.5 years away but who’s counting 😂) and relocate to Spain.

Provided your DH is an otherwise loving, present and active father, there’s nothing to worry about.

EDIT - sorry @ConcernedOfClapham no idea why it’s quoted your post and edit won’t let me uncouple 😬

Nursery graduations have def been a thing in my area for at least 20 years. TBH I remember doing a bit of a secret eye roll pre kids when someone wanted to swap a shift with me to go to their own child’s but two decades on all of my kids’ ceremonies have actually been lovely - singing, collecting a certificate and tie for their new school, ice cream for the kids/strawberry tarts for u the grown ups and a chance for some photos with their friends. Yeah, I’d want him to come unless he couldn’t get out of work.

My son is 24. He assures me that he has no memory of going to nursery. Graduation sounds a bit OTT to be honest.