Husband to not attend nursery graduation?

[AleenaM]

Nursery graduation at the end of the month and summer party right after, but husband says he has a sports/hobby competition that day. Don't know if he's joking but even the suggestion annoys me.

AIBU to expect him to attend party? Child won't graduate again but I'm sure they'll be competitions again. He is just getting back into this sport and it's a regional competition, it's not like a once in a lifetime olympics or something ...

Child won't graduate again? Aged 4?

Whatever next? Maternity ward graduation. Fecking ridunculous. I'm team husband.

My ds is 19 now, his nursery had a 'graduation' but it was just a photo opportunity with them dressed up, parents weren't involved at all.
Honestly your child won't remember in 12 months if dad was there or not.
Y6 one I helped out at the party by dh didn't come.
You're making too much of it

Im really surprised at how few of you have heard of a nursery graduation.
My now-19yo had a show/graduation when he left nursery! It's not a new thing 🤔

Ooh weird identical x-post 😳

I attended 'playschool' in the early 80s. Somehow 'Playschool graduation' doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

Neither DH or me attended either child's last day at nursery. Well, I did. To do the usual pick up. Bye bye and thank you, here's a box of chocs for the staff room.

My kids nursery did a summer party for all the children which counted as the leaving party for the preschoolers. It was quite fun. There was face painting and a bouncy castle and party games. My DH didn’t go, I didn’t expect him to, it was late afternoon/ early evening midweek and he didn’t get home from work until after it was over. Must say my son has just graduated and both DH and I are going in July, but DS is 21, not 4. I agree with most of the other PPs and don’t think it matters whether both partners go or not.

🤯 What fresh batshittery is this! 🤣

That's not the point the PP was trying to make.

The point is if you were both working, would it warrant BOTH of you taking annual leave? Tbh, one parent is enough and its really not a big deal.

It's very likely your husband would take time off for his hobby. I personally would. I wouldn't feel guilty not attending of the other parent was there.

I expect most children will only have 1 parent or even grandparent there.

It sounds like it's a bigger deal for you than your son.

Agreed, all those being astonished at nursery graduation are being a bit silly. My dd is 18 and when she left nursery they had a little ceremony with paper mortar boards and certificates just to mark the end of the nursery era and the start of the exciting new era of starting 'big school'.

But OP this is not a massive deal and I would not insist DH needs to be there. There will be many many many more ceremon, ocassions and celebrations as they go through school. It's nice to attend them if you can but it's not the end of the world if one ir both parents can't make it. Having said that, it shouldn't be the default that it's mum and not dad who attends. But it may be that you are more interested/bothered about these type of occasions than DH.

Does anyone else think this trend for graduating is utter madness?!

Anyways, it's the end of nursery goodbye party and your DH thinks his hobby is more important, @AleenaM.

Does he need to do his hobby that day or can he do a different day? It seems a bit ooo if he could go but chooses not to. However not all paremts will be able to take time off work to go, so if you're DC just has you, that will be like lots of other pre-schoolers.

I'd personally tell him he has to go along, but that's me.

I hope he makes the roght decision.

You don’t have high hopes for your daughter do you?

If it was an actual graduation I’d think it was fair enough but it’s nursery not university.

Don't be silly, it's nursery - not university! It's no big deal. Most husbands don't attend the graduation. I work in a primary school and it's very common for fathers to miss sports day, parents meetings etc.

I wouldnt be bothered in the slightest. You can go with your child and enjoy it. Your husband will be busy doing something else which is totally fine. Its a party for leaving nursery - your child hasnt actually achieved anything except getting a bit older.

It's not exactly a big milestone, so not awful for him to 'miss' it, but it's worth considering whether all the nursery events/kids events might end up falling to you, and if so, ensuring you don't become the default parent for those kind of things. That is, that you feel as able to ask him to attend something because you have a hobby-related event as he does you. It'd be a bit unrealistic to expect that every child has both parents take time off work for the last day of nursery anyway, so it really comes down to whether this is just about this occasion or whether it's standing in for a broader worry about priorities - which is a fair enough discussion to have.

As a committed member of a sports team there's no way I'd choose to go to my child's nursery graduation over a competition if another family member was already going to the graduation.

I think nursery graduations are silly but I'd go if no one else was going and it was important to them.

Fully agree. I find it absolutely toe curling seeing 4 year olds in caps and gowns and it makes a mockery of actually earning the right for that moment.

I went to my niece’s graduation from nursery, totally pointless event.

There will be lots of events in primary school during standard working hours which unless you have flexible working hours would require annual leave to be used. And I mean lots, if our school is anything to go by. I really wouldn’t get worked up by a nursery ‘graduation’, just you going is fine.

They aren’t a thing here. We have various events for parents to attend at nursery, but not a graduation.

This!

How on earth did we all manage just taking our DCs home on their last day at nursery?

A nursery where I worked had ‘graduation’ ceremonies for children heading to ‘big school’.
The children wore blue gowns and hats. It was a huge day for them and their parents/ guardians/ relations.
I did ask about it and I was told, by a staff member that yes it was a bit OTT but the parents insist on it.

Haven’t RTWT but there has to be some sort of irony in this! 😂

He is just getting back into this sport and it's a regional competition, it's not like a once in a lifetime olympics or something ...

No, but finishing nursery school isn't either.