Husband to not attend nursery graduation?

[AleenaM]

Nursery graduation at the end of the month and summer party right after, but husband says he has a sports/hobby competition that day. Don't know if he's joking but even the suggestion annoys me.

AIBU to expect him to attend party? Child won't graduate again but I'm sure they'll be competitions again. He is just getting back into this sport and it's a regional competition, it's not like a once in a lifetime olympics or something ...

That's very rude when I was laughing at your own post at 12.55 🙄

YABU and get a grip. It’s nursery FGS.

The only event my mum came to was my actual degree ceremony and neither parent ever attended any school events because they were always working.

A well rounded kid will accept that and won’t care what other kids parents do.

He should go to his sports thing. Health and fitness is very important

I couldn’t get the time off work for my son’s nursery graduation but, judging by the look on their faces in the photos, most people involved, including my son, knew what a load of rubbish it was! Choose your battles OP - this is not a bridge to die on.

Not really my DC are 22 & 25 now they both had graduation ceremonies. It's just a nice way of saying goodbye and moving on up to school.

It is not even during normal nursery time, so none of you including your DC need attend. So no feeling of being alone for your DC, and you can claim something more important to do.

It's not exactly an achievement graduating nursery, it just means he's too old to go anymore. Yabu

I would say nursery graduation is a nice to attend rather than a must attend.

You're being ridiculous. I didn't go to DD's leaving nursery and DH didn't go to DS's. It only took one of us being there to count and it's really not a big deal. Neither of them are in year 6 yet so I don't know what kind of deal they make of leaving that but if either of us have something important on I wouldn't expect either to cancel. Only a problem if neither of us are free.

What a waste of time. Just another opportunistic Americanism to get more money out of parents

All of this. It's nonsense.

I took my daughter out of nursery on the graduation day. Bullshit like this makes me cringe.

Nursery graduation 🤣🤣🤣

I wouldn't want dp there as we'd set each other off giggling at it all tbh. I'd go but only because I'd feel obliged. You are being absolutely ridiculous and I promise you you'll cringe about this in a few years.

I think the use of the word 'graduation' rather than 'shindig' is a tad misleading here.

Im so bloody pleased I don't have to deal with school crap anymore.

Tbh it sounds like he's been to the same thing 3 times now! Only difference this time is your child will be graduating. I think you're overthinking this completely. It's nursery, not GCSEs or uni...
If he's only just getting into his sport than I understand the excitement of going to your first competition.
Either way, I think you probably know this and I bet the problem is how nonchalant he's been about it, not that he's going. For eg if he said, there's this comp I want to go to but it's the day if the graduation. I really don't want to miss the graduation but the comp is xyz.
I feel you'd probably be a bit more understanding? I don't know, I'm sure there's probably a level of embarrassment on your part too, sounds like all your friends will be there and you'll have to explain why he isn't? but I'm going to be honest, nursery graduation is not a big deal. Lovely to be able to go, but not a big deal.

My ds nursery has a graduation party, even non graduating children and parents can attend, it's a little ot if I'm honest.

I’m a bit torn. I do think nursery graduation is ridiculous and I don’t think it will make much difference to DD so long as someone she loves takes her. But it sounds like this is really more about the annual summer party and DD graduating is just because it’s her last year so they throw in a little ceremony or something? I would resent all that networking and being the parent who attends being left to me if it was a consistent thing and he frequently ducked out when he had a better offer leaving me to be the default. But I do get the tedium of those sorts of events (though often important for networking and building connections with other parents).

I might also find it sad that his hobby that has lots of opportunities throughout the year comes first in his list of priorities over a one off special day for his DC and the opportunity for family time centered around DC that it presents. This isn’t critical at 4, DC is unlikely to remember so long as one special family person is there, but it might be telling of a more general attitude of ducking out of family opportunities and being more interested in a hobby than DC. In which case it’s about the bigger picture.

Overall - I don’t think, as a one off, it matters. But if this is a more telling example of him consistently dropping family for his hobby it could be more worrying.

I'd like to think your kid would graduate again.

It's a bit sad but I bet he's fuming that it clashes with his thing because I expect he'd like to do both.

If I'm wrong and he really isn't into it, that's sad but to be honest I found these kinds of events a bit tedious back in the day as well.

I used to think the concept of a nursery graduation was silly. BUT when my oldest had one, it was really the tail end of a fun summer play/ performance for parents. Having only been able to see videos of Christmas plays because of COVID it was a really lovely afternoon. The kids sang and acted. They then had a fun graduation bit. Then there was a big party with nibbles. Not everyone can go, but I think it was a really lovely event for both parents and kids.

They actually did in my DCs nursery. Little
Navy blue ones 😬

He is just getting back into this sport and it's a regional competition, it's not like a once in a lifetime olympics or something

I think for Average Joe/Jo competing in a regional comp when you're just getting back into your sport is quite a big deal. If his sport does not normally impact on family life a great deal then I would definitely prioritise this over both parents being at the nursery graduation/party.
Your bar is a bit high if you'd only think him not attending the graduation was OK f he was competing in the Olympics.

I don't understand all these people saying this is a new thing. I am in my sixties, and still have my nursery school graduation certificate.

When did it stop? It seems that is stopped and has now started again, for all these surprised people

i daresay your kid will ultimately benefit and learn a more positive life lesson from your dh being active in a hobby than him attending a nursery graduation (they are so cringe).

I would be upset, I had no one or one parent show up when I was a kid and it still hurts now that my parents didn’t make the effort.

I get more upset than my kids if my husband isn’t bothered due to my childhood. It’s an end of an era and a lovely moment to thank the staff.