Husband to not attend nursery graduation?

[AleenaM]

Nursery graduation at the end of the month and summer party right after, but husband says he has a sports/hobby competition that day. Don't know if he's joking but even the suggestion annoys me.

AIBU to expect him to attend party? Child won't graduate again but I'm sure they'll be competitions again. He is just getting back into this sport and it's a regional competition, it's not like a once in a lifetime olympics or something ...

I wouldn’t blame any parent finding an excuse to stay away

it will be competitive saddens who is the saddest that their little baby is going to school, awkwardness from how many times you can thank teachers then later trying to avoid the boring drunk

Nursery graduation 😂🙄😂🙄

I always thought people were making these things up!

😴
😂

Well the cynics are out in force, I see! 😂

For me, it depends on the child.

My DC likes having both parents at occasions and saw his graduation from nursery as important. Nursery put a lot of emphasis on it; they often practised their 'graduation ceremony'.

DC is the type of kid who is looking to the parent benches at every assembly to see if we've shown up.

Whilst I did find the nursery graduation quite twee, I wouldn't have missed it, because my DC wanted us to show up. DC is what mattered that day. Showing up for DC, even at twee events, matters to us and them.

If your DC won't be bothered, then I wouldn't put any pressure on your DH.

Going to ask him if he would've taken annual leave for his competition, thanks for the tip!

I would be asking if I could go to the sporting event with him to avoid such a nonsense event.

You are being very unreasonable. She won’t even remember it.

It’s irrelevant whether or not a nursery graduation is a silly idea.
The issue is that it’s life admin/wife work and he expects you to do that. He doesn’t want to do it because it’s boring, and it’s fine because he knows that you’ll do it.

This

Except that if your 3 year old was talking excitedly about the song they were practising to show you, you wouldn't. You'd go along, enjoy the song, tell them they were wonderful and then nod along earnestly when they show you where they do playdough after.

I imagine most of the kids will only have one parent attending. Its nursery! 😂 I remember going to my eldest childs with a young baby in a buggy - never occured to me to ask my DH to take a day off for it. He will obviously be there for our kids Uni graduation (if they want to go to Uni) but nursery…seriously???

WTF is a nursery graduation? New one on me.

I don't think he/she will remember it anyway. Sounds like it's more for the parents than the children. One parent attending sounds fine.

It's a little party / fun day as they get towards the end of term.

There will be LOTS of events over the next 14 years, and you will come to realise that it is great if one parent can get to them, but none of them need you both there.

They did it at our pre school, Uni style hats and everyone got a present from their pre-school teacher. It was lovely but not an occasion you would have both parents needing to attend. I think that would be totally OTT.

In all seriousness I just find the whole idea of "graduating from nursery" a bit weird. Graduating is something adults do after years of studying so why push what is, in effect, an adult experience onto 4 year olds? Why not just let them be 4 year olds without pretending they are mini grown-ups? By the time they've had "nursery graduations", "primary graduations", "high school graduations", the whole thing has lost meaning by the time it actually matters.

This is the thing isn’t it.

These events are silly but to some kids they mean a lot and it’s important for them to see their parents there.

I agree with this poster that it depends on the child and whether they would care if both parents are there or not.

There are so many events through primary school, its totally unrealistic for the majority of children to have both attending. I could do alot in the younger years (as was a stay at home Mum) but went back to work when mine started school.

Its great if one parent can attend (we always do that for major things, Xmas plays, sports day etc), but most parents have to use their annual leave to cover the holidays alone. We shouldn’t be asking parents to take even more leave to cover days actually in term time (other than the very occasional event as mentioned above).

Fully agree, we have to tag team on these things as we both work FT.

The DH isn't working though, he's prioritising a hobby.

I’d say if he enjoys the hobby and really wants to do it, its not a huge thing (especially if for everything else he’s a very involved parent). I can’t remember anyone having more than one parent at the nursery graduation. There’s always a mix at Sports Day/Xmas play etc but nursery graduation really isnt a big thing.

I agree that kids can get upset if they see other parents but can't see their own. I think this is more down to feeling scared that they're alone though. But if they see even one face that's "their's" they are instantly happy. They don't need both parents there.

I’ve seen a few photos (posted on SM by friends) of these nursery ‘graduations’ over the last few years, I personally feel that the concept seems a bit ridiculous. however, it’s essentially an event where nursery have invited all parents to attend to celebrate. Is it normal for your DH to chosen not to attend events relating to your DC? If so then YANBU, your DC will grow up seeing that their Dad views his social calendar as more important that them. If this is genuinely a one off and he is usually present at these type events then I would probably be ok with this.

That's still ok. Whether it's work or another previous commitment is irrelevant.

There are many other things in life than just work that people are allowed to partake in and enjoy without feeling guilty. Parents are allowed to have hobbies and interests outside work and their children!

If he misses her wedding day due to a competition then maybe LTB 😉

He has attended the previous 3 end of year events. Pretty good attendance rate considering the child is 4.

I went to the nursery "graduation" for my youngest DC - the nursery was 2 mins walk from work and for me a chance to say hallo and goodbye to the people who had made DC happy while I was at work. I did not dream for one second that DH would go - he worked miles away and would have been a difficult journey plus was not his sort of thing.
We did go together to that DC's university graduation.