Husband to not attend nursery graduation?

[AleenaM]

Nursery graduation at the end of the month and summer party right after, but husband says he has a sports/hobby competition that day. Don't know if he's joking but even the suggestion annoys me.

AIBU to expect him to attend party? Child won't graduate again but I'm sure they'll be competitions again. He is just getting back into this sport and it's a regional competition, it's not like a once in a lifetime olympics or something ...

yes, but ONE parent showing up is enough.

Sounds like the dad is having a healthy balance. The OP meanwhile needs to chill and not revolve her entire life around the child. It's too much pressure on the kid anyway.

I have a couple of hobbies that I am very invested in. I've also been a parent for 18 years and have done and will continue to do my fair share of attending events with them. I have sacrificed a lot of time and money to encourage my children in life. Sometimes it's ok to prioritise your own interests over something not actually that important. And honestly, this little ceremony is not actually that important.

Your four year old probably won't even remember the day!!!

Precious much.

Nursery graduation shouldn’t be a thing imo…my granddaughter felt she was left behind when her friends at nursery graduated because they were slightly older than her.

😅 the concept of a nursery graduation is absolute nonsense. So no, I wouldn't be bothered about this.

A Regional Comp isn't to be sniffed at - let him go without making a fuss over something as 'non event' as a nursery graduation. God knows there will be enough events through school, save insisting on attendance for the important ones that might actually matter to your child. Most kids don't get both, or any, parents at lots of school events. Work and all that.

They had it when my 25 & 23 years old left nursery. It's a ridiculous concept but I smiled and nodded through. I wouldn't expect anyone to take leave to attend, though.

Someone should go, you both don’t need to go, especially if there’s something else on.

BSc or BA? Lol

Graduating nursery is utterly ridiculous

Kids are generally a bit bewildered by this, its for the parents. Although because they see other parents there, it is good for someone to be there for them.
By the way do not big up the transition from nursery to school. They may be nervous, but bigging it up too much as a really big deal can make the transition harder for children. They take their cue from you at this age.
So breezy is best. You had a great time at nursery and had lots of fun, school is different but you will have lots of fun there too. Do not get into, oh nursery was so much fun you are really going to miss it and be sad about leaving.

All the people saying it isn’t significant and they won’t remember it- it’s a big deal to children, especially at the time. As a teacher, I’ve been to loads of nursery graduations and seeing the children’s little faces light up when they spot their parents is lovely. Seeing
the children refuse to take part and cry because their parent isn’t there is not so nice.

I’m glad you’re going op and it’s a big shame if your dh decides to skip it but I would let him explain to your child and then you go and enjoy the graduation!

I think nursery graduations are ridiculous. I’m going to my son’s as I don’t want him to be the only kid with a parent there but didn’t even give a second thought to my husband coming, seems silly for us to both miss a day off work so we just decided one of us would go. YABU.

Is your husband Mr Incredible? 😂 I agree with him, sorry!

Is this a UK thing now? We used to have a party/picnic for all the nursery children and a round of clapping for the ones leaving to go to “big school”. Think the nursery owner might have given them each a book but it was just kids and staff, no parents.
And no it doesn’t need two parents to go to it. For the children it’s just one up on a regular day, there’s probably cake instead of carrot sticks.

The children are happy because their parents are there. Kids love having parents come to nursery or school.

They remember it when they are there and after, and the feelings it gives them is an important part of their deadline. I’d tell my husband I wasn’t sure if he was joking so I thought I should say clearly that I thought this was more important than his hobby, which I supported him in a lot (I’m sure there is quite a bit of support needed!). If he pushed back then I’d explain that my support was actually based on the premise that our family was the most important thing and we all try to support each other. If it’s just a one way thing then it’s over now and I’ll be very glad to have the time back.

Deadline wtf? Emotional development is what that was supposed to be 🤣

My husband didn’t attend our child’s ’nursery graduation’ because he was working. Tbh yeh the kids looked cute dressed up but it is a bit of fun really

Well exactly. I wouldn't be happy if DH chose a hobby over that. Regardless of the parents' thoughts, these things matter hugely to little kids who will have been practising their songs and poems to show the mums and dads.

Work, sure, we can't always take days off when we would like to. But hobbies come after DC.

Mustn't get too excited for our children now...

What's he like as a parent in general @AleenaM

Surely it’s just like going along to the numerous other ‘occasions’ that happen throughout a child’s school life - special assemblies, open days, Easter assembly, end of year productions/nativity, sports days? It’s nice if one or both parents can attend, or failing that a grandparent, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out. At 4, your child isn’t going to be upset by the fact that her Dad won’t be there, unless you make it a thing. Nowadays, with both parents likely to be working, I’m sure quite a few children don’t always have even one parent attending school events every time.

My DCs never had any of this nonsense until ACTUAL graduation - i.e. when DD got her BA from university. Neither I nor the children expected DH to be there on the last day of any other stage of education! If my DH was in a REGIONAL competition I would count that as pretty important - definitely more important than basically the last day of term!

OPs child is simply finishing nursery, not “graduating”. To be honest saying someone has “graduated” when all they’ve done is made it through a stage of education which doesn’t even have any testing is absurd. A university student doesn’t get to graduate at the end of university unless they actually succeed in getting their degree, just making it to the end of term is not sufficient.

who said that?

They're not graduating ffs. You graduate from University. Not nursery. It's just a cutesy leaving do. They'll finish Infants, then Primary school, then Secondary school then College before they get to uni and actually graduate.