Husband to not attend nursery graduation?

[AleenaM]

Nursery graduation at the end of the month and summer party right after, but husband says he has a sports/hobby competition that day. Don't know if he's joking but even the suggestion annoys me.

AIBU to expect him to attend party? Child won't graduate again but I'm sure they'll be competitions again. He is just getting back into this sport and it's a regional competition, it's not like a once in a lifetime olympics or something ...

Nursery graduations are for the benefit of the parents, not the children. I think they're ridiculous and one parent going (so your child doesn't feel left out) is enough.

"Graduations", from anything other than university, are not an actual thing that needs celebrating. Of course your husband doesn't need to go, I wouldn't want to go either if someone else could. For these sorts of things, between myself and my husband, one of us would always go, because the children usually like to have someone there. But it was very much a case of taking it in turns, "I went to the last one, so you can go to this one" type conversations ensued. The 4 year olds do not care that they're "graduating", they usually hate whatever ceremony type thing the nursery has planned. They seem to be more for the adults than the children, to get them dressed up in stupid little graduation outfits then post photos on social media. I don't have patience for any of that nonsense.

I don't think that it's really necessary for him to be there for this particular event, to be honest. If you're there yourself, that sounds sufficient to me. Take some photos and show them to him when he gets home. Your little one will enjoy telling Daddy about the day.

I'm assuming that the little one is starting school in the autumn.

I would confirm now on which date he/she starts school and ask your husband whether he can be free on that particular day to take him/her to school , which I think would be much more special than the nursery thing.

I had to work late for one of my kids.. DH brought his mum, she and child thrilled, everyone happy. Child emotionally unscarred by my absence...

Yes

OH didn't attend his 'real' Graduation, after years and years of hard work. From a working class background, his parents said they could not afford the rental of gown and mortar board.

Nursery graduation may be just nonsense, but don't they take away from the achievement of the real thing, somehow?

I am willing to bet there will be an opportunity to purchase a graduation photograph and a graduation certificate to celebrate this non event.

You don't both need to be there, in fact I don't think we attended for either of our kids, they sent a photo, the kids had fun. No big deal.

What a ridiculous idea! I would not allow my child to attend such a frivolous non-event! Your husband has more common sense.

I haven't read the full thread because it seems to be 10 pages of people moaning about nursery graduations existing, call it a leavers assembly if you must 🙄

What's important is showing up for your child, yes the event itself can be tedious but you all know full well, when your kids see you in the audience for assemblies, sports days etc, it makes their fucking day! That is what's important here and they do remember!

I've just asked my 10 year old if he remembers his and he said yes, it was fun and I loved the funny hat and nanny was there.

I'm 44 and remember that my folks never turned up to anything in my primary school and when my mum did, she moaned I was just a narrator in the play.

Kids remember this stuff.

What’s a nursery graduation. ? Do you mean a leaving party for those starting school ? Surely they doesn’t require both parents to be present !

My husband didn't attend child #2s graduation because he was away, he came to #1 because he didn't have plans.

Neither me or the kids had any prior commitment when the graduation date was set (it was a Saturday) so we went along.

It was a cute hour or so in both cases, songs were sang, books were given out and a photo taken. Fine to go to if you don't have any other plans but I wouldn't expect anyone to pull out of a previously arranged event for that.

This week I can only go to child #1s sports day because it happens to be my day off. My husband is going to child #2s because he has more days holiday so can take the day off.

It's not always possible for both parents to attend every single event from nursery through to University, work and life get in the way.

We had a nice play/show at nursery the week before it was lovely but no graduation. Not sure about a graduation. It sounds very cute but not totally necessary. I’m sure if you went it’d be fine.

I think the term “nursery graduation” is throwing people off, as many of us haven’t experienced it. Perhaps we could reframe it along the lines of “nativity play” or “achievement assembly”.

• DH is attending a 6x per year sports event rather than DC’s nativity play. AIBU?
• DH is attending a 6x per year sports event rather than DC’s achievement assembly. AIBU?

How we would answer the questions above will shine some light on how appropriate it is / is not for DH to attend the sports event instead.

Ah ok.. that's understandable. Sounds to me like you and your hubby put dc above your opinion on a nursery graduation anyway which I think is the point some have missed here. Doing their nut over anyone thinking the nursery grad is the be all and end of life which it obviously isn't but i just know.from memory in that moment in time even if the kids don't remember the event years later it means so much to them in that moment and I personally think these moments shape children more then we are aware of. And no I'm not saying if a dad doesn't attend it means the kid will grow up to be a serial killer before anyone comes for me..🤣 I'm just saying if a partner could attend why wouldn't they. And yes obviously other forms of good parenting are just as important I'm not saying a nursery grad is the key to success 🤣🤣

Even at nursery age we told our children that we could not make everything. There would be times when we had to work and couldn't get the time off bla bla bla. They accepted it pretty early quickly and weren't too bothered.

We try to make the nativity and sports day and that's generally it at the moment.

I have graduated twice in my life (from an RG institution @HelpMeGetThrough ). On neither occasion was a nursery involved.

Completely ridiculous.

Your child isn't "graduating" that's what you do after university! And he'll "leave" every year group as he moves up - especially Y6, Y11, Y12/13 and actual university graduation/college leaving.

The replies here aren't very helpful. I wouldn't worry about people saying that a nursery graduation is silly as that's irrelevant.
What is relevant is that this event is important to YOU. If you want your husband to be there then that's where he should be as a partner to you and it's clearly something you would like to do together. It might be nice for you to feel part of a team at these events and to enjoy them as a family. If you speak to your husband and he still won't come, take someone else along with you and enjoy the day and make it special for your little one. But then also have a serious conversation about how you navigate your child's events going forward so you can get on the same page. Good luck.

Graduation from nursery? Fuckinghell😂

Graduation for nursery ? How ridiculous

Big deal. I've graduated from one as well.

I wonder if there will soon be a weekly Tescos shopping graduation ceremony?

I agree with a PP, it is indeed a load of bollocks.

If so I’d like to be invited! 🙏🏾My Tesco delivery is arriving soon! 🚚