Would you sack nanny over this?

[YourMerryBrickRobin]

AHave name changed as potentially outing.

Nanny has been with us for 6 years, since our joint biological eldest turned 1 (DH has two kids aged 18 and 14, eldest lives with us full time youngest visits in school holidays)

We have never really had any problems although we will admit a boundary has been slightly pushed lately but we let it go- her long term boyfriend was left homeless, so we agree he could TEMPORARILY move on but would be in the caravan outdoors as he wasn’t DBS checked and didn’t want him staying in the house. He seems a nice enough guy and I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t harm my children and appreciate a DBS doesn’t stop that, but it was a boundary we put in place.

He started coming into the house around the DC while we weren’t there. Got a bit more annoyed, but chose not to rock the boat as Nanny is a diamond

Anyway today- she left our youngest (9 months) in the care of her boyfriend while she went and collected DS from nursery, which is literally a 5 minute walk away. Reason being- we had DDs car seat in our car. She didn’t attempt to contact either me or DH (we are both self employed and always within 10-15 miles of home) despite noticing this morning when she was going to take her to the park (DH dropped DS off, we have 2 same stage car seats hence why it wasn’t an issue with DS this morning)

Im pissed off if I’m honest. Like I said, nice enough guy but don’t know him well enough to look after my child even if it was for under 10 minutes

AIBU?

If you read the posts on this thread, how am I telling a lie?
Not every person in the world is bad.
As parents as children age, we do change our protection level.
Yes the Nanny has caused this., but we have a very one-sided view of the story.

I would give her another chance, after telling her that what she did was unacceptable. She didn’t lie about it, and she’s a good nanny

As parents as children age, we do change our protection level.

The OP's child that was left in the 'care' of the nanny's boyfriend was a non-verbal infant. What protection level is appropriate here?

If you are in the UK do not send this.

You are breaking employment law.

You need to follow a fair process before discipline her and this is not it.

This email could land you I. Front of an employment tribunal.

Please get proper advice. Either call ACAS (they advise employers too) or speak to a solicitor.

There's so much bad advice on this. Most in complete disregard of UK employment law.

OP please get yourself proper legal advice before taking action

I agree. Your overall goals are fine, but you have to go through a process. If her contract is legal it will include a disciplinary process. Follow it.

Sleep overs are not obligatory.

I would not be able to get past this.
The trust between you was broken when she 1) Let him into the house after you specified he was not to be there. 2) She handed over responsibility of your child to him without asking you. Absolutely not acceptable.

Yep it's a shocking lack of judgement that the nanny has shown OP but since you mention DBS, I'm assuming you are in the UK in which case... do not send that text message unless you want to risk ending up at an employment tribunal (she has worked for you for 6 years after all). That message is saying that you have predetermined the outcome of a disciplinary hearing (that hasn't yet happened) and decided to issue a final written warning. Nanny will be able to use that against you quite easily in future. If you have an employment contract with her (and after 6 years you're in a whole world of shit if you don't), follow the disciplinary process that should be detailed in there.

@Bollindger

As parents as children age, we do change our protection level.

What relevance does this have to OP who has a one year old?

@coupdetonnerre

Can someone say why the OP wouldn't be able to immediately fire the nanny for this. Especially as she has likely done it many times before.

Because UK employment law does not allow employers to fire employees without following a fair and legal process.

Surely it amounts to gross misconduct? Which I belive is an immediately stackable offence.

I think for me the big thing is that her reason for doing this was basically being too lazy to walk 5 mins pushing a buggy. Even setting aside the safeguarding side, I don't think someone who finds a 5 min walk taxing is suitable to be a nanny, it's a physically demanding job done right

@MotherFeministWoman As @MinervaMcGonagallsCat says, employers must follow a fair and legal process. No matter what. It is extremely likely a tribunal would find against the OP if she went straight to sacking without a hearing etc. In cases of gross misconduct, a sensible employer will suspend the employee (usually on full pay) first pending investigation and hearing before doing anything else.

Vanessa George.

She isn’t being sacked. They can issue a written warning without suspending her first and going through a whole investigation. The investigation has been done by talking to her and to the “witness” (the older daughter). They are giving her a warning. That’s fine and won’t land them at a tribunal.

If anything further happens, they’ll have to go through a disciplinary meeting before firing her but they aren’t firing her right now.

@MotherFeministWoman

Surely it amounts to gross misconduct? Which I belive is an immediately stackable offence.

There's no such thing as an immediately sackable offence.

An employee can be suspended in full pay whilst a disciplinary process is carried out. If that results in a finding of gross misconduct- then the employee can be dismissed.

But a fair and legal process must be followed otherwise it could result in a very costly employment tribunal for the employer.

If you trusted your child to a nursery and all the staff nipped out for 5 minutes and left your child in the care of the window cleaner or postman who just happened to be there, that would be ok then right?

The boyfriend is no more suitable to leave the child with than a random man she pulled in off the street.

If your child went to hospital for an operation and during the procedure the Doctor nipped out and asked the tea trolley lady to take over for "5 minutes" that would be ok too right? It's no different.

It is absolutely a sackable offence - the Nanny is employed to care for the children, she does not get to delegate this to anyone else.

There is nothing from OP to say the nanny regarded this as a lapse of judgement she regretted

So glad I'm not the only one who noticed that ...

@Badassnameforadojo

They can issue a written warning without suspending her first and going through a whole investigation. The investigation has been done by talking to her and to the “witness” (the older daughter). They are giving her a warning. That’s fine and won’t land them at a tribunal

No they can't.

They could get away with issuing a verbal warning following this process.

But for a written formal warning the employee has a right to a fair and legal hearing including being accompanied. And an appeal.

@coupdetonnerre

OP should just give her notice, pay her in full and ask her to leave immediately

No she can't. That would be unfair dismissal.

Do people not understand that employers in the UK must act within employment law and that employees have rights.