To think that parents shouldn’t force their children to follow their dietary preferences?

[TVD2103]

I’ll start by saying that I am a vegetarian, I haven’t eaten meat for years. I have a child who likes meat, therefore I always buy them the snacks and meals that they enjoy, I don’t restrict their eating at all just because I choose not to eat it.

I follow someone on social media, for recipe inspirations, they have a child younger than mine (I would say maybe 6 or 7?) and they mainly eat raw vegan food. They also have a toddler and they make both the children eat the same as them, I know this because they post what their children eat everyday. They’ve just posted a lunch for their child from the other day and it hardly had anything on it! It was literally like a couple of small tomatoes, salad leaves and humus and that’s supposed to be one of the main meals that fills a child up? They are quite restricted in their eating and are also passing this onto their child, I’ve noticed that a lot of vegan families on social media are also like this and it just feels quite extreme, especially when the children are too young to understand the choice of lifestyle and why they have to eat a certain way.

AIBU for thinking that your child should have a diet of everything including meat, regardless of your own dietary preferences, until they are at an age where they can choose for themselves?!

A balanced vegan diet is far healthier. Highly likely these children won't end up obese.

Regardless of that, parents usually feed their children they same things they eat themselves. Some parents don't have the choice to offer different meals for different family members.

Children eating high quantities of processed foods has been an issue for years. Poverty and poor diet are directly linked. A vegan diet usually offers a wider range of food in my experience.

Humans don't need to eat meat or dairy products, the industries providing them are barbaric and imo more people should be actively cutting back. Again something some people don't have a choice in, if they can afford unprocessed food but are still not well off, more meat free days are becoming common due to costs.

I think there is two different issues here...

Adults and children need a different balance of nutrients (carbohydrates, fats, proteins, etc). Any restricted diet is at risk of causing malnutrition.

Being Vegan or Vegetarian can be just as healthy, or healthier as an omnivore diet. As long as food groups are met. Including babies needing milk...but there are vegan formulas now I believe? Plus breastmilk.

Don't all parents "force" their children to follow their dietary preferences until the children are old enough to cook/buy food themselves, just by dint of being the ones who cook? If the parents had an aversion to aubergine, for example, their children would probably live a largely aubergine-free life.

AIBU for thinking that your child should have a diet of everything including meat, regardless of your own dietary preferences, until they are at an age where they can choose for themselves?!

YABU

Parents make moral, cultural, health and other personal decisions about all aspects of their child's life.

They have a responsibility to ensure their children are fed a balanced, healthy diet but to insist that parents feed their children every type of food is unreasonable.

I’m not vegan or vegetarian, but I think a child growing up with that diet (assuming no processed food), would be much healthier than a typical diet including lots of processed foods. Anything that encourages vegetables at a young age is surely a bonus?

Ours was fed a mostly vegetarian diet when weaning as I found it easier and made sure I incorporated all food groups. I regret introducing things like salami and other processed food as they seem to love them!

Do you have data for this? Certainly in the past vegans have had problems with nutrition, particularly in children. I would be concerned for the child.

If I didn't force my child to eat my preferences they'd live off apples, biscuits and chicken nuggets and nothing else.

There are plenty of religions that restrict things you can eat.

I think most Jews, Hindus and Muslims would not be happy about the idea that they should break their religious dietary requirements just because you think they should.

Exactly. I didn’t have cured meats, smoked anything, aubergines (funnily enough!), pasta, or stir fries growing up as my mum wasn’t keen on them.

Wrong. Veganism, even well balanced veganism, is linked to a number of serious dietary deficienices including B12 and iron.

I thought veganism wasn’t great for younger children especially due to lack of calorie dense foods. What is your basis for saying this?

Obviously everyone should be feeding their children properly, making sure they get a balanced diet and enough calories to help them grow. Whether that's vegan, vegetarian, halal, kosher, omnivore, gluten-free or anything else.

All parents feed their children according to their own likes/dietary requirements - my kids have never eaten lamb or goats cheese because I don't like it, don't buy it and don't cook it.

I'm vegetarian, I fed my DD a mixture of meat and veggie meals, at 8 she has decided (for now at least) she wishes to be vegetarian herself. I know another family who are vegetarian and they feed their child vegetarian foods at home but don't restrict what they choose to eat outside of the home when they are not cooking (eg school lunches, parties, restaurants etc) - I think both approaches are perfectly reasonable. I grew up friends with a family who were strict vegetarians and didnt allow their children to eat any meat - guess who was always hiding under the table stuffing sausage rolls in their mouths at parties and went onto have drug issues in later life!

YANBU. We need animals fats to manufacture hormones. I did some research a while back into government analysis of children’s health. I found a study on the government archives dated Sometime around the late 1800s early 1900s. It describes the impact of lack of animal products in diet (the poor could only mostly eat agricultural products). X rays of rickets, evidence of stunted physical growth and cognitive development. This was the origin of the suggestion that children needed milk every day in school.

Unfortunately, school nurses aren’t commonplace so we don’t have a way of intervening unless a savvy safeguarding lead notices poor health and makes the link with a severely restricted diet.

I'm vegetarian, my partner wasn't, I cooked for us both, our butcher's joke was their best customer was vegetarian.

We decided to let our child decide what she wanted to eat from being tiny, as long as it was healthy.
As its turned out, she is extremely intolerant to cows milk, cashews and sulphites, so her diet needs to have those excluded but includes meat and fish.

I've never imposed my dietary choice on anyone, I am fussy about mine being separately prepped and cooked away from meat and fish etc It does mean a lot more work in the kitchen but that's just normal for our household.

I also feed our cats a raw meat diet as they both seem healthier and happier having that than ready made.

Someone is bound to ask, so yes, I do find meat prep unpleasant, even after a lifetime of doing it. I have separate utensils and storage for it and they are all sanitised and sterilised after every use.

TL:DR. No, I don't think anyone should impose their dietary preferences on anyone else.

I don't agree, not really.

My partner and I are vegetarian. Both children have been brought up as vegetarian. Older one eats meat; we are fine with this as that is his choice. Youngest is still vegetarian and I think always will be.

Why would we have given them meat when weaning/toddlers etc? When it is something we don't eat.

Would a meat eater bring up a child as a veggie? No.

We spoke to oldest re meat, where it comes from and how etc to inform them. Youngest hasn't had this chat as too little. Then it is up to them!

YABU. There is no way I’m going to be preparing meat in my house. DS is absolutely at liberty to experiment with eating meat when out (so far this has translated into once buying a burger and taking a couple of bites), but our vegetarianism is an ethical stance not a ‘dietary preference’.

I should add also, both my children are healthy!

That is ridiculous 😂

I think it would be weird to feed your child outside your own families dietary customs. Are you suggesting Jews and Muslims feed their kids pork? Why?
There are many places where the majority of the population don’t eat one thing or another and raise children successfully. I think you are just being rather odd.

I did some research a while back into government analysis of children’s health. I found a study on the government archives dated Sometime around the late 1800s early 1900s

You’re relying on information from a study conducted 100-150 years ago? Good grief, I’ve seen it all now!!

We don't prepare meat for my eldest either. All foods here are vegetarian. He can eat meat outside the house (school, friends, grandparents etc).

Why not? I'm sure in 100 years people will scoff at the research studies from this era.

We have always fed a variety of food some meat some vegan some vegetarian meals as well as international food so I can't say we force any one-way to eat

I think you mean can be linked.

My dd is vegan and has recently had to undergo a series of blood tests. Every time her iron levels and B12 levels were absolutely fine.

A diet including animal products also can be linked to deficiencies if its not a balanced diet.