To think that parents shouldn’t force their children to follow their dietary preferences?

[TVD2103]

I’ll start by saying that I am a vegetarian, I haven’t eaten meat for years. I have a child who likes meat, therefore I always buy them the snacks and meals that they enjoy, I don’t restrict their eating at all just because I choose not to eat it.

I follow someone on social media, for recipe inspirations, they have a child younger than mine (I would say maybe 6 or 7?) and they mainly eat raw vegan food. They also have a toddler and they make both the children eat the same as them, I know this because they post what their children eat everyday. They’ve just posted a lunch for their child from the other day and it hardly had anything on it! It was literally like a couple of small tomatoes, salad leaves and humus and that’s supposed to be one of the main meals that fills a child up? They are quite restricted in their eating and are also passing this onto their child, I’ve noticed that a lot of vegan families on social media are also like this and it just feels quite extreme, especially when the children are too young to understand the choice of lifestyle and why they have to eat a certain way.

AIBU for thinking that your child should have a diet of everything including meat, regardless of your own dietary preferences, until they are at an age where they can choose for themselves?!

I would cook meat from scratch for a partner - possibly my son but tbh I'd buy ready prepared from waitrose or something

I'm vegetarian, DP isn't so DD isn't, although she does do the odd vegetarian month. We have a lot of vegetarian dinners but she also has meat/fish based ones too.
I thought it was best to let her try different foods and make her own mind up. Had DP been vegetarian as well perhaps we would have done veggie at home.

Most parents feed their kids in line with their own dietary preferences. I grew up, never eating pasta, rice, spices and various veg as they were not on my parents radar. They were a meat, potatoes and veg family. Lunch always involved bread and dinner always potatoes. except on sundays when we swopped!

There is no reason children cannot be raised vegan or vegetarian so long as the parents know what they need to do to give them the right nutrition.

i have been vegetarian all my adult life. I breastfed my son and raised him vegetarian on the basis that it seemed mad to feed him something I wouldn’t eat and thought was wrong until he was old enough to choose. we had a mostly meat free house and my omni husband was on board. He ate meat outside the home or very occasionally bought something for himself if I wasn’t around eg fish and chips. He knew that I knew what I was doing.

Shortly before he started school, my son asked to try chicken (with grandma) and that was that. At nursery i was able to say he was vegetarian but at school and when out he could choose whatever he wanted. We still ate vegetarian at home. Gradually the odd meat pizza or chicken nuggets crept onto the shopping list but he had always been great at eating loads of veggies. DS has always had some intolerance to dairy - he got hives when he first tried cows milk as a drink and until he was about 2 and would later het an upset tummy if he had a lot of cheese.

About 5 years ago I became vegan after my husband left. We gradually reverted back to being a meat free house and then DS also went plant based at home and soon after fully vegan. He is 17 now and very healthy.

We supplement B12 both through fortified foods and with a B12 spray. Meat is fortified anyway - farmers give supplements to the animals. We get plenty of iron from our green leafys, tofu, seeds, whole grains and fortified oat milk and cereals - all of which we both eat all the time.

All parents force their dietary preferences on their children. People who don't eat meat beleive its ethical or healthy to do so. The same as people who refuse to buy fast fashion items or refuse to give their kids ultra processed foods.

My kids dietary preferences are sugar and milk. I obviously force my preferences of veg etc.

Your dietary preferences may be different to another parents but that doesn't make either of you right or wrong.

https://www.ucl.ac.uk/news/headlines/2021/jun/children-vegan-diets-are-12-inches-shorter-average-smaller-and-weaker-bones-study

You are so wrong it is frightening. Please stop spreading misinformation.

YANBU, I’m also a vegetarian 30+ years but let my DC decide themselves.

A vegan diet CAN be healthy. However, a lot of vegans I know eat heavily processed/UPF/chemical-ridden foods like quorn.

...and non-dairy milks - full of sugar and UP.

👏👏👏
fabulous post

Yes I know.
This is the ‘modern’ vegan diet.
Lots of processed stuff is relatively new to the market and not something we’ve ever eaten but probably because it wasn’t around when I stopped eating meat in 1980.
Processed foods should be kept to a minimum in all diets

See attached.
A properly balanced diet is key to avoiding any health or growth issues in children ( and obviously adults )
The attached comments on your data

You are being very unreasonable
fair enough about being a ‘raw’ vegan but in reality there are so few of those people and even fewer who would feed that to their babies so that is a bit dramatic to make assumptions based on that example.

well planned vegan and vegetarian diets are healthy for all ages.

we make choices for our children whether they eat meat or not. It’s all a choice as they do not understand where food comes from nor go out to buy it.

my children will not eat meat until they are old enough to understand the reality of what they are eating and the horror of what farmed animals experience.
if they know this and still decide to eat meat, that’s up to them. Then they can make their own choice.

if you are going to see it your way, I can say I am very upset that my parents fed me meat without my consent as a child when I quickly became veggie as soon as I understood what I was eating.

eating meat is a choice and not essential for anyone to live a healthy life.

Yanbu to think that parents shouldn't force their dietary preferences on children.

Yabu to insist that this means that parents must feed their children meat.

We are vegetarian. We don't eat meat at home, and frankly, I wouldn't know how to cook it anyway. We have always been clear that dd was free to eat meat in school or in restaurants, other people's houses etc. Neither DH nor I are militant about our vegetarianism in the slightest, so there we never any pressure - we genuinely didn't mind either way.

As it turned out, dd never wanted to eat meat and hasn't ever tried it. As a young adult, she is grateful for having been brought up veggie as she doesn't miss what she hasn't ever tried. Whether she will remain veggie forever, only time will tell, but I'm happy with the balanced approach that we achieved.

I have only read some of this thread but as parents, regardless of whether we are vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian or omnivores, we inadvertently force our dietary preferences on our DC.
My DM doesn't like spicy food or anything with any flavour so I was brought up on bland, tasteless food. DB and I both love curries, chilli, etc, but DM's preferences removed that from our childhood meals. I can't tolerate custard so I deprived my DDs of that.

This amounts to propaganda from the Vegan society, this is not a peer reviewed study. It is a fact that children brought up on a vegan diet are shorter. Why on earth would you do this to your child?

And lots of vegans I know eat nothing of the sort! UPF free and very, very healthy.

Tbf, being 'shorter' isn't some disability xD I can't say I've ever suffered from being a shortarse. At least no more than I would as someone ginger or a little bit tubby.

If for say, a on religious grounds, a country or community tended to avoid all animal products (and I'm sure these places do exist), would it matter that the children would be shorter? No. Because its the spiritual belief held is more important.

So...are, essentially, white people, not allowed to hold similar spiritual beliefs? Are we supposed to "know better" than these "backwards savages" that, shock horror, choose compassion for all creatures.

Looking at the amount of children today subjected to nothing but processed food, I suspect probably the majority of vegan kids are eating healthier, even if they aren't getting everything they need.

NONE of us are getting everything we need all the time anyway. We're all deficient in various things at different times.

There was a study ran that found vegans were deficiency in less nutrients than the meat eaters involved. It wasn't a big sample of people but still, I think it makes sense. I know when I tried to go vegan (no where near atm unfortunately xD) I ate so much more range of food.

The key is always going to be education and planning of course. Unfortunately I'm.sure lots if vegan kids aren't well nourished. But I can sat the same of many children also fed nothing but junk foods. At least the vegan kids are learning about compassion for all.

Apologies tagged wrongly this was meant for @Marinade
Appreciate you may not trust the Vegan society.
How about BMJ
This article talks about the study on height and how it’s not reflective of a healthy vegan diet and why.
It also points out how unhealthy an omnivores diet is and how it can adversely affect a child’s health.

See post above

I've been vegetarian for 35 years. For 35 years my dietary choices have been criticised. So it doesn't surprise me that someone takes it on themselves to worry about parental decisions about their child's diet.
I've done it myself. On holiday, I met a granny who always asked dgc what they wanted for breakfast. The answer every morning? "A blue ice lolly."
Dgc always got what they wanted.
Did I voice my opinion on the gc's diet?
I did not!

.

I'm not a vegan or vegetarian just to start, not do I intend to be.
In the past there have been real concerns about pregnant women and children on a vegan or vegetarian diet because those diets were deficient in some nutrients.
Very recently, a couple of men where my sister works were told firmly by their doctors to stop vegetarian/vegan diets and to include meat as the diets were damaging their health. I know this is anecdotal evidence but suspect it's easy to become deficient in nutrients if you don't plan a vegetarian diet well.

'Horror of farmed animals' says a lot about your thinking. Also, how on earth were your parents expected to know your thinking when you were a small child? It's all a bit dramatic.

I do think many people are wilfully blind to the effects of intensive farming but it is possible to buy high welfare meat-though admittedly expensive.

Agreed! I’m vegetarian, have been for 37 years and and have had iron deficiency a few times and B12. I have B12 jabs every 12 weeks.

I’ve been vegetarian for 37 years. DH is a meat eater. Both my DS’s were brought up eating meat (and both still do) They don’t share my feelings on not eating animals. That’s their right to choose. .
A bit like I’m an atheist and didn’t have them christened as that is something they should decide on.
As an aside… I was christened (I think it was just the done thing in the 70’s) and I’m actually quite annoyed about it 😂)

As a vegetarian pregnant with twins and a single I can say my doctors never told me to eat meat.
In fact the only thing one doctor suggested was to drink Guinness as it’s good for iron.

If you are going on anecdotal evidence I have two very healthy pregnancies as a vegan and so has my best friend….
pregnant women are of course advised to supplement anyway due to possible nutrient deficiencies?? So you would have to be supplementing as a matter of course.

there are many amazing vegan supplements pre natal post natal and every day ones.

I did depressingly laugh at the comment that I am being dramatic. How is the slaughter of farm animals anything but a horror for them? Do you think they are having a nice time? ‘High welfare’ animals still go to the same abattoirs….
i think you are wilfully blind too I’m afraid unless you have watched an animal be killed and understand the supposedly humane methods. Do that and then tell me it’s not a horror….

but anyhow. Yes it is very possible to be healthy as a vegan and vegetarian adult or child. Full stop.