To think that parents shouldn’t force their children to follow their dietary preferences?

[TVD2103]

I’ll start by saying that I am a vegetarian, I haven’t eaten meat for years. I have a child who likes meat, therefore I always buy them the snacks and meals that they enjoy, I don’t restrict their eating at all just because I choose not to eat it.

I follow someone on social media, for recipe inspirations, they have a child younger than mine (I would say maybe 6 or 7?) and they mainly eat raw vegan food. They also have a toddler and they make both the children eat the same as them, I know this because they post what their children eat everyday. They’ve just posted a lunch for their child from the other day and it hardly had anything on it! It was literally like a couple of small tomatoes, salad leaves and humus and that’s supposed to be one of the main meals that fills a child up? They are quite restricted in their eating and are also passing this onto their child, I’ve noticed that a lot of vegan families on social media are also like this and it just feels quite extreme, especially when the children are too young to understand the choice of lifestyle and why they have to eat a certain way.

AIBU for thinking that your child should have a diet of everything including meat, regardless of your own dietary preferences, until they are at an age where they can choose for themselves?!

That's crazy
What did she feed her child then? As shouldn't have soya formula under 6 months

I 100% agree! I know a couple of people who said that they're gonna raise their child as a vegan. They're trying for a baby now, and I'm actually pretty disgusted, and very worried about it.

Some people say you can have a really, really healthy vegan diet, but the fact is that children growing up will be missing out on so much by being forced to have a vegan diet. It should actually be against the law to raise a child (from birth) as a vegan.

If they decide to become a vegan at say, 9-10 years old, then that's a BIT different, (but even then you need to be super careful, as they are still growing.) But, forcing a baby/toddler/infant into a vegan diet should be a criminal offence.

Don't anybody bother coming at me and explaining why it 'shouldn't' be a criminal offence, because I'm not going to change my mind.

We're pretty omnivorous - but judging by the food that's offered to us at playdates the vegans and veggies feed their children much more nutritious + home cooked food.

We still see children with rickets caused by vitamin D deficiency. But we have simple surgeries available to correct them, so people think Rickets has gone away, but it hasn't. I have several children on my caseload who are on prescription vitamin D supplements due to being deficient. Causes include diet, and the full body coverings used by some religious groups meaning not enough sunlight gets to their skin.

HelenaWaiting · Today 10:24

Rickets is caused by vitamin D deficiency. The reason working-class children of the 1800s got rickets was because they were shut inside factories all day. No sunlight.

It's slightly more complicated that that, as rickets is ultimately a calcium deficiency. In this day and age, people may technically be getting enough calcium, but without Vitamin D, it cannot be metabolised properly into bone and tooth material.

Victorian children undoubtedly lacked sunlight, but they were also calcium deficient.

I’m expecting and both my husband and I are pescatarian.

We discussed this the other day actually and agreed that we wouldn’t be buying meat or preparing meat meals but if the child chooses to try meat outside the home when they’re older then that’s their decision.

I don't eat meat and raised my children eating it, because I feel I was malnourished as a child from lack of it. But if I had another one I would raise them vegan and I am confident I could manage to feed them well. My main reason is I don't think it is clean, and then next because I think it's wrong, and my DC have no compassion for the animals slaughtered for their food having been raised like this. If someone has an ethical belief you can't just push them not to pass it on to their child because they think it is the right way. Hoummous is quite filling

Soya formula.

I know. Crazy!

SleepingStandingUp · Today 09:54
"Do you think Jewish parents should feed their children pork op? Or Muslim children should all be made to eat beef?"

You are confused. Of course Muslim children can eat beef.

What a profound reply, never heard that before

There’s a few different issues here.

Children have different dietary requirements to adults so that lunch of cherry tomatoes etc should have been fortified with some healthy fats for the children’s health.

Meals are social occasions so I think it’s ideal that the whole family eat the same at home. Personally I prefer restaurants that do children’s meals that are small adult portions too. I would find it strange if the family ate different meals at the same sitting although I understand in practice that people have different likes and dislikes so a meal of spaghetti Bol might have no sauce for one person, extra cheese for another and a different spaghetti/sauce ratio for another.

I think many of us with omnivore diets have dreamt of our kids eating more veg so it’s unusual to see a kid’s meal of all veg. I wonder if the kids of the raw vegan family keep it up once they have the money and choice to pick their own meals?

My sd was raised as vegetarian. She is now a young adult and was always malnourished as a child due to mum not understanding that she needed a better diet and more nutrients. Her diet was poor and restricted by mums own restrictions. This led to an unwell child almost all the time, a late onset of puberty and an eating disorder where she will gorge on foods not allowed in mums home when away from her. She also has bulimia but we aren't sure if that's because she feels such guilt at eating even a chocolate bar or chicken nugget or is something else.
I think brining them up with your views on eating is perfectly fine until they are either not eating correctly or express wishes to eat other things.
My daughters have chosen to be vegan as adults and I've adapted our meals to work round their wishes. But it's their wishes not mine and I still eat meat

I'm vegan because I believe its better for my health. I'm not going to give any child reliant on me for their food anything I have decided isn't fit for my own consumption.
So while I'd give some foods that are not vegan to make sure their nutrientional needs are met, I'm certainly not offering foods that are unnecessary and (in my view) not good for them when there are better alternatives (again, in my view).
Obviously when they are in a position to choose that would be up to them, but as parents we make decisions based on our own view of what is best, so to me it's no different from sugar consumption, screen time or amount of fresh air and excercise. We all have our views on how much of these we allow or insist on which won't be the same as the next person, but we're within our rights to decide for our child.

sadly you will always get some odd few examples who don't understand nutrition, whatever diet the kids are being fed, leading to malnutrition, obesity etc etc

People of this category can be vegan, vegetarian or meat eating / omni.

The odd few vegan or veggie examples will always be held up as "absolute proof" that a vegan diet is inappropriate for children despite the vast majority of children being raised on this diet being perfectly healthy, their diet being nutritionally adequate and in many cases healthier than their omnivorous equivalent.

Look at the number of obese, or underweight, vitamin deficient children who live on processed meat diets, white bread and chicken nuggets. Do we hold them up as an example of why meat is unnacceptable? No. Doing the reverse is not ok either.

I eat meat so I “force” my child to eat meat. I see no difference with those who don’t eat meat or animal products at all if vegan as any different.

Children are going to largely follow their parents diet before they are old enough to choose themselves.

"I'm eating bits of a dead animal" is not a complicated concept.

Wider environmental, nutritional and evolutionary issues are trickier, but not that.

Eat what you like but please don't try and make your cat vegan

Regarding forcing dietary opinions on children. I wasn't allowed to be vegetarian as a teenager despite really disliking meat. I can remember gagging and retching sometimes because I had to eat stew or slimy chicken 🤢. My folks thought vegetarian eating was a ridiculous, unhealthy fad and they were having none of it, right up until I left home for university. I'd completely given up meat by that Christmas and I'm still here 30 years on. My kids make their own dietary choices (within sensible limits so no haribo lunch 🤣)

I agree - meat eaters shouldn't force their bizarre flesh-eating habits on their kids. Wait for them to get older and decide if they want to consume animals by themselves.

This is a tricky line because some people don't eat meat for religious reasons, and would never be accused of doing anything wrong by raising their children within those religious rules. Veganism is also a belief system if people do it for ethical reasons. If you truly believe the meat and dairy industry is unethical why would you buy those products and feed them to your children?

I say this as a vegetarian (not vegan) with a child who eats meat. It's problematic to judge people who have dietary preferences based on any kind of belief system.

People by virtue of their culture and what they used to force their preferences upon their children. I’m not vegan or vegetarian, but frankly I am considering veganism and wish my daughter was young enough that I could thrust it upon her. There is a health crisis throughout the developed world caused by over consumption of processed food and with it over consumption of animal fats in the form of dairy and meat. Roast chicken used to be a high days and holidays meal and now people don’t think twice about having meat at every single sitting.
I haven’t bothered looking through the comments, but I’m sure there are tons from all these people who seem to know 1,000,001 vegans who are dying and look deeply unhealthy. That’s definitely not my experience. But I do know a whole host of people who have illnesses, disorders, everything from cancer to heart disease, through observable unhealthy life choices that include alcohol and excess meat and fat consumption. Not from over consuming chickpeas or having too many vegetables on their plate

It’s strange that most vegans you know eat like this - do you know a religious sect or something? I don’t know any vegans who would only have a couple of cherry tomatoes and hummus for lunch, unless they were on a diet (and even then it’s an odd choice).

DS follows my diet, and will until he is old enough to cook for himself. Obviously if he wants something different that’s in the fridge he can have it, but I’m not cooking two different meals to appeal to a 7 year old (if it was up to him he’d have pasta pesto for every meal).

I think just a varied diet is good for kids, not much processed foods and trying things from other cultures is also important.

I grew up with one parent who was an enthusiastic carnivore (did their own fishing/hunting and loved cuts of meat in any form including lots of offal products such as trotters or brawn) and one parent who was a regular veggie (ate dairy but no meat or fish). I now have my own likes and dislikes like anyone does but there's not much I won't eat and I'm grateful they brought me up teaching me to enjoy trying new foods and flavours.

I find it really sad (ND kids are different in this as I'm aware of texture issues etc) when children are brought up on beige freezer foods and nothing else, they miss out on so much.

Yes poverty means people can lack means to buy things like organic fruits or exotic products but basic herbs / spices along with basic veggies cooked in different ways are roughly the same as 3 x frozen pizza and better for you.

Each to their own though and each parent is responsible for their kids choices until the child is old enough to do it themselves.

People that eat meat are at risk of getting worms, also from food grown in manure

My partner and his ex (both vegetarian) brought their children up omnivore, one is now pescatarian but the other still eats meat- they wanted them to both choose when they were old enough to decide.

I will never agree that bringing children up vegan is a good idea, vegetarian I feel is also questionable but slightly better and more understandable than vegan. When you restrict things from a child’s diet for so long and/or from so young, they can develop intolerances which takes their choice totally out of it as adults which I feel is totally unfair. The best diet is as many whole foods as possible, limiting highly processed foods where and whenever possible.