To think that parents shouldn’t force their children to follow their dietary preferences?

[TVD2103]

I’ll start by saying that I am a vegetarian, I haven’t eaten meat for years. I have a child who likes meat, therefore I always buy them the snacks and meals that they enjoy, I don’t restrict their eating at all just because I choose not to eat it.

I follow someone on social media, for recipe inspirations, they have a child younger than mine (I would say maybe 6 or 7?) and they mainly eat raw vegan food. They also have a toddler and they make both the children eat the same as them, I know this because they post what their children eat everyday. They’ve just posted a lunch for their child from the other day and it hardly had anything on it! It was literally like a couple of small tomatoes, salad leaves and humus and that’s supposed to be one of the main meals that fills a child up? They are quite restricted in their eating and are also passing this onto their child, I’ve noticed that a lot of vegan families on social media are also like this and it just feels quite extreme, especially when the children are too young to understand the choice of lifestyle and why they have to eat a certain way.

AIBU for thinking that your child should have a diet of everything including meat, regardless of your own dietary preferences, until they are at an age where they can choose for themselves?!

Totally up to the parents what kids eat. Obviously if all the kids are eating is sugar and unhealthy junk then it's an issue.

Many veggies or vegans see their way of eating as a cultire/lifestyle. It would be like saying ethnically diverse families should not give their kids the food from their own country because <insert name here> finds it "weird".

When the kids are old enough they can choose what they want with or without parents consent.

That said, one of my Bffs is veg and her daughter who is 16 has always eaten meat. She preps it for her and has no issues. I've always admired how she doesn't comment when any of us have eaten meat etc.

There's one on Instagram I came across yesterday
Mum is very thin, daughter looks lethargic and thin and all the videos look as if she isn't really enjoying food. Both vegan

It sounds like that family doesn't understand that children need more carbs than adults. This isn't a vegan issue, it's a "diet culture" issue. Carbs are seen as "bad", so these parents likely believe they are feeding their children entirely healthily.

My husband and I are omnivores. We feed our children meat, purely because the meals we make often include meat as protein. It'd be strange if I only fed my children vegetarian or vegan food while I ate meat and dairy, so it's the same the other way around. As long as everyone is eating healthily, there's no problem.

Please do not speak for everybody from vegetarian or vegan cultures, who have years of traditional knowledge about how to keep vitamins and iron levels normal. I am S Asian and brought my DC up to be vegetarian, as have millions of S Asians.

We have been eating 30 veggies a week from childhood-everything from fenugreek leaves to okra- and fermented foods- dosas, idlis- way before the Zoe diet told us to do so. My DC grew up eating turmeric daily, but not in a kooky hippie way, just because it's part of our daily eating habits. They do eat junk as well, in moderation.

I love how when Tim Spector or Michael Pollan says eat more veggies it's cool science, but when Asians do so, it's restrictive eating!

I think this is a far healthier diet than parents feeding their kids mostly UPF, which is also imposing dietary preferences, no? Both my kids are slim and healthy, with no deficiences. I had my iron tested recently, and it was on the higher side. I take no supplements.

B12 is the only vitamin vegans need to supplement, because it can’t be found in plants. Since all children should take a multivitamin no matter what they eat, this shouldn’t be an issue.

It’s perfectly easy to get enough iron on a vegan diet. Ive been vegan for ten years and have only had low iron after having a baby, which obviously didn’t have anything to do with my diet.

Anyway, everyone ‘forces’ their children to follow their dietary preferences in some way. I never liked meat but was forced to eat it as a child. I’d like my children to want to care for animals and not want them to suffer, so we don’t eat them. There’s really no need to, and I find it very strange when people seem to get angry at vegans for choosing not to harm animals!

But eating a veggie diet and having meat out of the house isn't going to deal with the deficiencies, is it?

We're a veggie family. Daily vitamins, B12 and iron are all part of our routine. As is a healthy and balanced diet. Veggies do know that a totally veggie diet needs attention, you need to make sure the balance is there and potentially safeguard with supplements. Your premise is that people following these diets do it with a disregard for nutrition. Sure, some veggie/vegan families may be like that. But a meat heavy diet also needs attention and balance.

Its not the diet at such, it's the way it's implimented that can be problematic. Whether that's omnivore, vegan or something else.

Reductive arguments based on sm posting is a daft way to approach this!

For me it’s parents who dictate what their kids don’t like when DC have never tried the food in question - that annoy me. Then because of this some kids make out they don’t like it either.

Let your DC try foods before you can analyse what they don’t like.

It’s what every meat eating person does.

Im the same - vegetarian almost
my whole life. My entire family eats meat. What I wanted my kid to learn from me wasn’t that you should be vegetarian, but that you should think about your ethical choices and stick to them even if they are not shared by others. But if others choose to do what every meat eating parent does and ‘force’ their choice on their kid that’s fine (within reasonable nutritional boundaries obviously).

But eating meat is still a dietary preference surely? If you are raising a child to eat everything then you are pushing that particular dietary choice on them.

tbh it would be weird to have a way of doing things but not including your child in it… like taking part in a religious ceremony but excluding your child so they can decide for themself later on.

Disagree. No one needs to cook meat for their kids or make them try it if they don't want to. It's unnecessary for humans. Yes, it makes life easier if you eat meat, but these days there are plenty of veggie options.

Agree with pp that it's not the diet that is important, it is the way it is implemented. Omnivore diets can also be nutrition deficient.

Humans are omnivores, we are supposed to eat meat.

I agree with you. I have been vegetarian for many years. My ex was a meat-eater. I wanted my DC to grow up being comfortable to eat any type of food in any environment. They are now a young adult and have been a good eater all their life. They had friends who clearly ate a restricted range of food. These children would watch my DC in astonishment as they ploughed into bowls full of salad, vegetables, etc. It often inspired those children to try for themselves when they could see my DC being very happy with what they were eating. My DC now makes their own choice as to what type of diet they want to follow. I do appreciate however, that living in the West we are privileged to be able to choose what we eat.

I fed my children on a strict vegetarian diet, and guess what?! Neither of them have drug issues later in life!

YABVU - providing the diet is nutritionally adequate.

Veganism is often attractive to orthorexics and disordered eaters. It can be done healthily but it is cutting out a lot of food groups, particularly for children who need more calorie dense food.
DS had CMPA, egg and soya allergies when young so I had to use vegan alternatives for a few years. I would not voluntarily impose such a restricted diet on children, and he could at least eat meat and fish safely. We were also under the care of dieticians to ensure that his needs were met and that he was growing appropriately.

Vegetarianism is less restricted and easier to swap nutritional needs with whole, unprocessed substitutes compared to veganism.

Mainstream religious dietary requirements don't tend to be heavily restrictive in eliminating food groups.

I do make foods for the DCs that I don't like, but even if I didn't serve them specific foods like sweetcorn or tuna, they wouldn't be missing out on whole food groups as they'd still be given access to other vegetables and fish/ protein sources.

If a parent pushed their preference to exclude all vegetables or carbohydrates, that would be a dietary and health issue.

Letting children have access to foods that the parent doesn't eat when out of the home is fair.

DM stopped eating beef with the BSE/ CJD scare. Over the past 20 years, it's got pretty tedious when she does cat bum face over my adult decision to eat beef (I started at uni as it was more affordable than lamb on a student budget). That kind of judgemental attitude of imposing preferences can be problematic to relationships.

You're only seeing the images she curates for SM though. What they eat the rest of the time could be very different.

You can't compare a modern vegan diet with that of the Victorian poor! They used to survive on bread, jam and tea - and kids in cities got insufficient daylight.

No nuts, seeds, nutritional yeast or vitamin supplements for them!

I don't really agree with the op's idea - that could be extended to saying let children try all variety of moral or ethical responses, do away will all cultural traditions and let them decide (with no steerage or family guidance) at some arbitrary age.
If I think eating meat is revolting and unnecessary why would I enforce it on my kids?

I'm a vegetarian and don't buy or cook meat for the DCs at home, because a) it's expensive, b) it requires a greater level of hygiene and food safety than I can be arsed with, and c) then I'd have to cook 2 dinners and sod that. I'll buy them a sausage roll or a steak pasty if they want it when we're out and about though.

That’s avery sweeping statement for which you have NO scientific evidence.

As for saying that cutting out complete food groups produces a “wider range of foods”, that’s simply impossible!

They need a filling and balanced diet but I don't agree that must include meat.

And I say that as a meat eater myself.

Do you think Jewish parents should feed their children pork op? Or Muslim children should all be made to eat beef? I mean what is that if not forcing your beliefs onto a child?

Is a diet of ready meals and fast food preferable to a vegan diet if one is full of fat and sugar and one is well balanced?

What matters is that kids get a healthy, balanced diet. That they have the opportunity to enjoy and explore food. It doesn't matter per se what those foods are.

With 23% of UK children being obese, I don't think it's Insta vegans that are the main problem! Admittedly, I am not on Insta and wouldn't follow influences if I were.

Jewish and Muslim people still eat other types of meat. Plus people who eat meat don’t just live off ready meals and fast food…

I think we’re guilty by default - both Dp and I have been pescatarians since we were school age. And tbh we only tend to eat fish if eating out somewhere that has limited veggie options.

Dd (12) has always been free to eat meat outside of the house - school, friends houses, restaurants etc. But neither dp nor i are confident cooking meat as we’ve never done it - I’m paranoid I’ll give dd food poisoning. And as we generally cook the same meal for everyone, it’s usually vegetarian. Dd isn’t keen on fish.

Tbh the smell of raw meat makes us gag and we’d have to have a separate set of pans etc so we’ve just not bothered. If we do a bbq we have a separate tray for sausages/burgers but that’s about it.

Dd does moan but she knows if she learns to cook she’s free to make her own food…..funnily enough she’s not keen.