Why do people think parents who pay for private education are enormously wealthy?

[SheineOn]

Is this just the stereotype?

I went to a school that cost 18k a year (15 years ago). It’s now 24k a year.

There were wealthy people there. But also many ‘normal’ people. At least 40% fell into that category. People who lived on estates, drove modest cars, skipped holidays and ate cheaply.

They made a choice to spend their money on private education. For context, two of my closest friends have dc in private. They live off 450 a month after paying fees. They are not high earners.

Not everyone has endless wealth. Some are just happy to make the sacrifice. I find it strange people don’t seem to get that and makes me wonder how lacking in knowledge you must be to have that view of the private sector.

@Pollipops1 yep. They struggle. But manage to do it.

Which was your CHOICE! Well done, you can feel superior should you wish. But that was your choice.

This idea of “sacrifice” is just ridiculous - people who send their kids to private school are buying a leg-up, and need to be honest and stop going on about “we’re not wealthy, we work hard”

Yes, and also, you are actively buying a way to keep your children away from the riff raff of the 93%. Failing schools, drugs, gangs, shock horror. My little treasure could NEVER go there, they need facilities, they’re very academic, it wouldn’t suit them. Bla bla

I don’t care if you’re wealthy or not, just be honest about what you’re really doing. Buying privilege for your children - this is hardly a great and noble service to society. If it means you have to live on beans on toast, then at least have the dignity to keep quiet and stop bothering everyone.

yep. They struggle. But manage to do it.

People get into debt or give up their jobs due to childcare costs. It is not equivalent to funding PE 🤦‍♀️

Jesus Christ - can you not comprehend that saving £1500 a month is not just a ‘struggle’ but categorically an impossibility for a huge percentage of the nation? A complete impossibility. Do you want sympathy for the ‘struggle’?

well I guess by having saved the equivalent amount monthly for several years, and having made massive cutbacks to do so

What were the massive cutbacks? Did you still pay housing costs? Childcare costs? Food?

We're all being trolled by @SheineOn because nobody is actually this stupid, gormless, unreasonable or blind to reality as what she is pretending to be.

@godlikeAI of course it’s a leg up. I’ve never said otherwise! They are all the reasons I don’t want dd in a state school. I’m not ashamed to say that. Why would anyone want their child around that IF they could in any way avoid it?

Yes I "struggled" as a single parent to afford nursery fees by getting into thousands of pounds of debt and having to reduce my hours low enough so that I could claim the free hours until DC turned 3 which severely impacted my career. But yeah, totally my fault for not making "sacrifices" I guess

Parents paying school fees who don't want to pay VAT on those fees, should really stop starting these threads. They do absolutely nothing for their cause, they may well actually be unhelpful. I'm beginning to think they're started by fans of the policy, rather than actual private school parents.

Around 'that'? Can't you be bothered to invest a bit of time in their education yourself at all?

Regardless of whether you approve, it's a choice, and a choice which saves the state £8k per child.

You might perceive that all private school parents are wealthy, and that's subjective, but just because you are "wealthy" enough to afford current fees does not mean you are "wealthy" enough to pay 20% more on what is likely to be your biggest expense.

And every child that can't pay that extra is coming back to state school and costing the govt £8kpa.

Around 'that'? Can't you be bothered to invest a bit of time in their education yourself at all?

@DanielGault
No, she's too busy sacrificing things, like her common sense.

BOLLOCKS

So it would seem 🙄

This thread smacks of the boomers moaning that young people could in fact buy a house at the age of 25 if only they didn't spend their money on takeaway coffees and Netflix!
Honestly OP, you are incredibly privileged and out of touch with the average family struggling from month to month on an average wage, who perhaps have the option of sacrificing a monthly £40 takeaway to afford a school trip for their kids. This is a drop in the ocean towards the £2k monthly fees for private schools!

I don't believe your anecdote either. £800 and you say he has a mortgage? Even a modest mortgage because of a hefty inheritance deposit could be £500 a month so £800 for mortgage, gas, electric, water, food, insurance, transport (car or commute) it is actually impossible to live off that.

Unless his pay is £44k on paper only for the sake of HMRC or he has a partner or trust fund you're not eluding to...

Single parents on £44k with no other income streams and mortgages to pay do not pay for their kids to go private no matter how many holidays or avocado toast breakfasts they sacrifice.

One possible reason is that they would be embarrassed to have their child grow up to be an adult who is absolutely out of touch with reality.

You’re having a laugh now with this.

If the choice is state school or spending time with people with your attitude it would be state school every time.

if you owned a brand new range rover, jaguar or porsche i'd view you as wealthy 🙄

if you have the money to spend over £20k/year on ANYTHING optional i'd view you as wealthy... whether that's holidays or cars or garden rooms or private education.

the average UK salary is £35k, after tax that's about £28k (and that's assuming you put nothing into a pension which is v unwise).

i have some sympathy with parents who are concerned but posts like yours make me think it's absolutely the right thing to do! utterly tone deaf and reflects an absolute dearth of real world experience.

private schools aren't really charitable cause if they were the bursaries and funded places they offer would go to the kids most in need - the ones who live in abject poverty or who have neglectful parents, the ones who end up excluded from mainstream school. instead that money is spent bringing in nice, well-behaved kids who excel at something whether academic or sporty and raise the bar for those paying full whack.

I'm wondering if the OP has had accommodation heavily subsidised by parents - many people from my old private school have parents who gifted a huge % of the house value so they now have tiny mortgages. Also people from my school left university debt free because parents were able to subsidise them at university. There are so many variables that aren't clear, but I agree the vast majority couldn't save £1500 a month. I'm a doctor and husband is a banker. We don't spend money on fancy cars, we don't live in a big house, we don't go on foreign holidays and we barely eat out. We could not save this amount, nor could we afford private school fees for two children. Then again I left medical school £60K in debt and we didn't get parental support with housing.

I've already posted this on another thread but feels relevant again. Households with children at private schools are generally in the top 20% in terms of income.

makes me wonder how lacking in knowledge you must be

The irony of this comment in the OP, this must be a troll post. I can’t take it seriously anymore.

They are all the reasons I don’t want dd in a school. I’m not ashamed to say that. Why would anyone want their child around that IF they could in any way avoid it?

This thread is just becoming embarrassing at this point. Are you seriously referring to state school as ‘that’? Yeah, OP, if you must know – my children are in state school even though I can afford private fees, because I wholly believe in the the state sector. I wholly believe that private education is the single largest cause of segregation of children in the modern age, and I want absolutely no part in a two-tiered society.

Enjoy your ignorance, I guess.

There are people here genuinely struggling and you’re writing how hard it is for you to save £1500 a month.

Let me get my violin out