Why do people think parents who pay for private education are enormously wealthy?

[SheineOn]

Is this just the stereotype?

I went to a school that cost 18k a year (15 years ago). It’s now 24k a year.

There were wealthy people there. But also many ‘normal’ people. At least 40% fell into that category. People who lived on estates, drove modest cars, skipped holidays and ate cheaply.

They made a choice to spend their money on private education. For context, two of my closest friends have dc in private. They live off 450 a month after paying fees. They are not high earners.

Not everyone has endless wealth. Some are just happy to make the sacrifice. I find it strange people don’t seem to get that and makes me wonder how lacking in knowledge you must be to have that view of the private sector.

@DanielGault sure, but it’s not just about the academics, as said above.

Nah, if they can't pay the extra 20% they just don't value their children's education enough. Can't they just go on less holidays or buy less stuff?

@Annabel28 if you are a doctor and your husband is a banker, unless you have several children of course you can save that a month, if not more

The op must be trolling at this point OR massively out of touch.

People pay nursery fees for a max 3-4yrs, there's lots of help for lower earners to pay those fees. It's not the same as funding private education for 13yrs. It's very short term with light at the end of the tunnel. Many families get in temporary debt to pay nursery costs just to stay in work.

Working families also need to pay for wraparound and holiday childcare on top of school fees, it is not comparable at all.

Most people can't magic up £24k year on year for over a decade, no matter how many 'sacrifices' they make. You are completely deluded if you think that's possible for most families.

Average pay in the UK is £28k a year before tax.
please do explain how someone on less than average wage can pay £24k a year in school fees.
I don’t think it’s the people who think you’re wealthy who are delusional.

OP lives in another land

100%. I know people who take out loans to afford nursery, on top of giving up work. Women give up their careers, job progression and pensions for child care. And we’re expected to get gooey eyed over the struggle for someone to save £1500 a month? Cry me a river.

Didn't Paul McCartney put his kids in a normal school despite his wealth? Or at least not spoil them rotten anyway despite his vast wealth.

I wonder if some parents of children who are privately educated just get a false sense of what's 'normal' owing to the fact that their children are surrounded by very wealthy children of very wealthy parents and so their child ends up looking like the poor (or normal/ average) kid in comparison. So they end up convincing themselves that because they're not 'rich' they're not wealthy. It's the only way I can explain the lack of self awareness on these threads.

It is another of those threads.
Wind them up and watch them go.
No one is this unaware and stupid.

@Annabel28 I have a much better lifestyle than my income would afford because I had significant help to get on the ladder eg living at home paying cheap rent and a large cash gift. I’m aware of that benefit and don’t think people who earn more than me but have higher housing costs are feckless or whatever.

Didn't Paul McCartney put his kids in a normal school despite his wealth? Or at least not spoil them rotten anyway despite his vast wealth.

Loads of people do. I'd hate my children to go private and look down their noses at us.

Some people value society and equality

@Pollipops1 we paid our mortgage and our bills and have lived frugally. Literally have two pairs of jeans and a three jumpers and t shirts. Obviously I hope to loosen the purse strings at some point but we had to save 150k to enable us to pay the fees as we go once they start.

I think OP has been feeling bad about her life and needed a pick me up, so decided to make a post about how awfully hard it’s been to sacrifice and struggle to save £1500 a month. She thought she’d make herself sound hard done by but secretly knew she clearly was very fortunate, and is enjoying all of the comments telling her she is out of touch and is indeed very comfortable.

Very genuinely wondering if you are sure sending your DD to private school is the right thing to do? Have you considered it might actually be detrimental to her self esteem if she falls short of what you expect of her, especially given how much you are sacrificing? My DH went to private school and is now a builder. There have been many (faux) outraged conversations with his dad about wasted school fees but it’s lighthearted as there wasn’t the sacrifice of everything else you are referring to. I think it’s important to think about the pressure you may inadvertently put on your DD by going down this route.

Pollipops1 we paid our mortgage and our bills and have lived frugally. Literally have two pairs of jeans and a three jumpers and t shirts. Obviously I hope to loosen the purse strings at some point but we had to save 150k to enable us to pay the fees as we go once they start.

Op, where did your deposit for your house come from if you don't mind me asking?

That's a horrible feeling in and of itself. I was poor in a rich school (not in English terms) but I always felt it. I would have preferred a slightly more level playing field. But we all survived!

So you don't consider having £150k in savings as wealthy? Just out of interest, how much savings do you need to have to be considered wealthy?

@Didimum @DanielGault

’that’ refers to the list of things that go on in state schools. If you read the responses fully it makes sense.

Nurseries in London and Greater London are up to £24k a year for a single child… are they incredibly wealthy too?

HTH

@mileenderr no? 150k can’t even buy a house so no I don’t consider that wealth. I guess wealthy would be no mortgage and upwards of 200k savings as well, with ongoing high income

we paid our mortgage and our bills and have lived frugally

Explain what living frugally means though? Was your mortgage very low? Were childcare costs low?

You had one outfit but presumably bought food and had utilities?

What's your mortgage and bills though? What did you sacrifice for your deposit and how much did your house cost?
You do not have £150k in the bank and 2 pairs of jeans. A bigger load of bollocks has never been spouted. Honestly. Jesus wept.

Ah yes those well known average wage jobs. Well done, you had me going for a wee while there.