Why do people think parents who pay for private education are enormously wealthy?

[SheineOn]

Is this just the stereotype?

I went to a school that cost 18k a year (15 years ago). It’s now 24k a year.

There were wealthy people there. But also many ‘normal’ people. At least 40% fell into that category. People who lived on estates, drove modest cars, skipped holidays and ate cheaply.

They made a choice to spend their money on private education. For context, two of my closest friends have dc in private. They live off 450 a month after paying fees. They are not high earners.

Not everyone has endless wealth. Some are just happy to make the sacrifice. I find it strange people don’t seem to get that and makes me wonder how lacking in knowledge you must be to have that view of the private sector.

No, they are wealthy 😂. I could pay £24k a year, if I didn’t pay my mtg. Not both.

@Kinshipug how is a nursery bill relevant? Nursery fees are a similar monthly outlay to PE. Which to be fair actually proves my point, people manage to pay for that.

they are right though, how good can your education have been if you don't know the meaning of the word 'average?'

You've used the example of your BIL on £44k - that is clearly significantly ABOVE the average salary and average median household income (both c.£35k)

£24k fees are pretty much a whole salary after tax and NI deductions on £35k
If you're a single parent, or a family with only 1 person working full time, (or in the vast majority of families, even if you both work full time) there are no sacrifices you can make to be able to afford to spend your entire income on school fees and to suggest otherwise is smug and stupid.

Unless by "sacrifices" you mean giving up unnecessary luxuries like somewhere to live and food to eat?

Honestly! How do you not understand that it is literally impossible for the majority of people to even dream of doing this? Even if they ate beans on toast every single day. You are absolutely clueless and the fact that you’re insisting on flogging this horse is mind boggling.

But do you not see your privilege in that you have the money to be able to do that in the first place?

People make choices and what they deem to be sacrifices (which often in reality aren't sacrifices as such - more choices of one thing over another).

The point is you have enough money spare to pay for private education. If you needed if for basics I.e. shelter, food and warmth then you couldn't send them whether you were willing to make sacrifices or not.

I say this as a 6 figure earner who drives cheap secondhand cars, holidays in the UK at holiday parks, wears cheap clothing and shops in Lidl. I could argue that those are 'sacrifices' I make so I can save money for my children's futures. However I am not so out of touch and aware of my privilege to say that. I can do more than others in that regard because I have the money to begin with and can have more ability to make choices about what I do with it.

It's really not, when they're coming on here to deign to tell others that they're wrong not to.

Two of your closest friends live off £450 a month after school fees?
electric / gas £150
council tax £200
phones £50
So £50 for petrol/ food/ broadband? left a month .
no rent or mortgage? Which country is this?
No one thinks you have to be wealthy to go to a private school to get a “decent” education , as you believe. Grammar schools are free and a lot of comprehensive schools offer a great education.
Lots of people are struggling at the moment with the cost of living and working hard and the last thing they are contemplating is a private education. You sound deluded OP.

we are not wealthy. It’s been a struggle to save 1,500 a month! A massive struggle

@SheineOn

Stop being so intentionally gormless! Yes you are wealthy! Being able to live & eat and STILL save £1500 is wealthy! Many people do not earn that per month let alone save it! You've sacrificed NOTHING you've just chosen to spend your disposable income on something else.

They are wealthy. They might not be stereotypically loaded but school bills are a massive sum. If you have 2 children that's 48k AFTER you've paid tax, then even in a modest house you've got mortgage, council tax, bills and food to cover. I totally get people make sacrifices and place education at the top of their list, and might not be shopping in waitrose/driving range rovers or holidaying twice a year but ultimately even having 24k every single year after you've paid tax and bills means you have to be earning at least 100k between you. Tax is going to take a huge lump of that, then you'll definitely need to pay for bills/living, school uniform, school trips, clothing, food etc. You just have to have a lot of money.
I totally agree, a lot of families won't afford a 20% hike in fees, and are sacrificing a lot to put education at the top of their priority list. Nobody is saying they're millionaires. However, it's a problem for those who are already earning in the top 5-10% of the country I suspect. If you earn the UK average of maybe £35k or whatever it roughly is, after tax you don't have 24k to pay school fees at all for 1 child, let alone if you've 2 children. It's simply not a sacrifice that is even possible for most families, because they'd have to live in a cardboard box and eat grass to have 24k a year spare. Lots of average families can't pay for electric/gas/mortgage without going into debt, it's not that they're wasting their money or prioritising a trip to florida over school fees, there's just mathematically not going to be 20 grand ever available.

Yeah but you haven't paid for either. So how exactly you're qualified to judge or advise I don't know.

How is it possible on a less than average wage? The average wage in the UK is £35,464. The average private school fee is £21,000. Yes there will be some private schools that are slightly less but not by much. It is impossible for an average wage to afford private education and therefore the people who can afford it are wealthier than most. It is a luxury. You may forgo the latest car or a 5* holiday but the fact you have that choice is a choice only the wealthier can make.

plenty of people have opinions on those who do choose to pay fees.

No they have opinions on those who pay fees but claim to be impoverished

I'm trying really hard to find holidays that will cost around £25k a year(28 ish with ps extras) for the next 13 years. That would be the equivalent of one of the private school fees per year here. It is so stupid to say give up holidays and you can send your child to Private school.

Who are these people who insist they make that choice. Oh yes, they don't exist! If you can afford PS you have quite a lot of money - a few coffees, a holiday, a car and Netflix do not equal a years fees.

The fact it, private education is out of the reach of 93% of the population and all of the whining about scrimping, old bangers (tinkly laugh) and camping in a sewer to manage it is utter bollocks.

It doesn't prove your point as many people only have their children in for funded hours and use family, friends or work less hours to manage the rest.

Paying for something you choose to and want to pay for is not a 'sacrifice'. Neither is choosing to spend your money on one thing at the expense of something else. It's a choice, not a sacrifice. A choice you are very fortunate to be able to afford, even if you do have to go without a holiday in order to be able to do it. Many people can't afford either.

If you can save £1500 a month you are wealthy and its disingenuous to claim otherwise.

That's all some families have to live on let alone save.

I live in a good sized house with a few acres of land. It’s expensive, it eats electricity and gas and maintenance costs. So sometimes we can be skint. Do I expect sympathy? Charity in the shape of tax breaks? No, because we took our choice. I see private education in much the same way. You have a certain amount of disposable income and you’ve chosen to unnecessarily spend all of it on a luxury.

There are people out there who can’t afford to eat or heat their houses. So can’t be done with this bleating on about a proposed tax on school fees. It is a luxury expense.

how is a nursery bill relevant? Nursery fees are a similar monthly outlay to PE. Which to be fair actually proves my point, people manage to pay for that.

That doesn’t prove your point. Many struggle to afford nursery & it’s for a few years.

Reposting this as it is spot on.

We make a lot of sacrifices in our household. We sacrifice luxuries like private education so we can prioritise things like eating and keeping a roof over our heads.

Really though, what’s all the ‘sacrifice’ nonsense about? It’s just choosing how to spend your money, and it’s a choice that only people with a reasonable level of disposable income can make, otherwise it’s just not a possibility.

The school fees for my local private school are roughly 30% more than I earned in a year when my youngest child started secondary school and are now about 10% less than I earn.

My local state schools are great, and my teenagers are doing very well, so private education would have been a huge waste of money, even if we'd had the money to spare.

@Kinshipug well I guess by having saved the equivalent amount monthly for several years, and having made massive cutbacks to do so

Again, define "massive cutbacks" please.

Children get free hours from as young as 9 months. There are no free hours at private school. Also my nursery bill is not £24k .
But no way I could afford 24k for 18 years. Possibly if we didn't eat.
For us it's not a choice. We can't afford private school.