Why do people think parents who pay for private education are enormously wealthy?

[SheineOn]

Is this just the stereotype?

I went to a school that cost 18k a year (15 years ago). It’s now 24k a year.

There were wealthy people there. But also many ‘normal’ people. At least 40% fell into that category. People who lived on estates, drove modest cars, skipped holidays and ate cheaply.

They made a choice to spend their money on private education. For context, two of my closest friends have dc in private. They live off 450 a month after paying fees. They are not high earners.

Not everyone has endless wealth. Some are just happy to make the sacrifice. I find it strange people don’t seem to get that and makes me wonder how lacking in knowledge you must be to have that view of the private sector.

Just get an evening tutor? What are we supposed to sacrifice to pay for that?

Do you realise how ridiculous you sound? You are (ignorantly) assuming that private schools are always better. That people who don't use them are choosing a big house and holidays instead, to the detriment of their kids education. You could have done with a bit of that fancy education yourself.

@MotherFeministWoman yes that’s correct. But stop labelling parents who pay fees as wealthy. Many are not

'Range Rover, Jaguar, Porsche. Etc'

I would consider anyone driving those wealthy

The recent posts by private school parents totally oblivious to the ordinary incomes of ordinary families make me much less sympathetic to their moaning about the VAT on fees. If this makes private school unaffordable for them then welcome to the club! Or you know just make a few more of those sacrifices you’re so keen on and find the money?!

You have £1500 a month to save and come on here making a post about not being wealthy to send your child to private school and that average earners can do so if they sacrifice? Get a life, and a calculator

This shows how completely out of touch you are. For some that is pretty much their monthly income. Can you not understand that you are incredibly privileged to me saving that each month?

Thank you so much for your comment!

We'll have an orchestra of tiny violins assembled for you once we can assemble one from the local charity shops 🙄

Ok, so what have you sacrificed?

You haven't taken anything anyone has said on board have you?

She might think it's a waste of money but that's because she has the option of something else which she considers good.

well yes for her it’s unnecessary but as I said she wouldn’t say this to other people. “I can’t afford” it is less offensive.

Have you ever considered that maybe it's private school parents who are immersed in the politics of envy?

Maybe they're jealous of state school parents who cleverly invested in a house in the catchment area of a good state school, have spare income to enrich their children's lives with educational holidays and feed them plenty of good nutritional food, and aren't putting themselves under enormous financial pressure and stress - which children will always be conscious of - and will end up with both well educated children and an asset in their home. It's sad really.

What do you think is so awful about state school that parents who choose it aren’t ’prioritising education’?

Perhaps those parents you look down on with their big houses and fancy holidays think state school gives their children a good education and that the cost benefit ratio of private education doesn’t give good value compared to a comfortable lifestyle over no holidays and a small living space/less nice neighbourhood?

But they are....

As the OP has demonstrated very well in this thread, PE is primarily about making sure that your kid grows up surrounded by other rich people, and absolutely out of touch with reality.

MotherFeministWoman
Most people don't have that choice though because most people don't make that kind of money.

@MotherFeministWoman yes that’s correct. But stop labelling parents who pay fees as wealthy. Many are not

🤣🤣🤣🤣

I get so hideously fed up with this mentality. I can’t honestly fathom how private school parents believe their own rhetoric. And I’m someone who can afford private school fees but chooses not to because of belief in the public sector.

NO. Whether it’s £14k, £5k or £1k, some people – a whole fucking heap of people in fact – can’t even rub two coins together.

And I am absolutely SICK of the line that you make ‘sacrifices’ because you have aspirations for your children. Do you not think those in poverty have aspirations their children? Do you really think foregoing a holiday will make up the short fall?

The shortsightedness over this issue is so mind numbingly tedious that I can’t believe intelligent women can really engage with it in any seriousness.

If you can afford ANY FORM of private education you are wealthy and you need to, quite frankly, shut your trap and listen to what society is telling you about affordability. It is beyond embarrassing and insulting.

No I won’t stop. I’ll be the judge of what I think is wealthy. Being able to afford private education does equal wealth to a lot for people, as many posters have described. You stop judging state school parents as feckless and not caring about education first.

I mean there is always this.

Back in my day, your parents took an interest in your schoolwork and results, and if they saw an issue they'd sit down and work with you themselves. Mum rather than Dad. But paying ££££ seems insane.

I’m with you OP. Apparently there’s only 2 types of people: struggling and wealthy.
I very much hope the Labour Party wins this election, but the VAT thing is just silly and populist - the actually wealthy people are not going to care, some people who make sacrifices to pay for education will not be able to do so, and those children will put extra pressure on the system, and the extra money from that VAT will not touch the sides of the problem

@Kinshipug our dc is 10 months. We’ve saved 1,500 a month for several years for PE when she’s 5

I think you are just being goady now. £1,500 saved a month? People on an average wage could not sacrifice enough to save this amount.
Now I am all for PE, if you can afford it, and want it, go for it - but do stop pretending that it is achieveable on an average wage.

Jesus! 1,500 a month saved!? You do know that this is more than a lot of people could hope to earn in total every month?

The more I read, the more I think you have absolutely no idea about the real world

I went to a local private secondary school and sixth form on a scholarship in the 00s. (South of England). Most of the kids were from very wealthy families imo, relative to my family. We're talking big homes, in fact multiple homes in the UK and abroad, destination holidays, nannies, private chefs, so many Mercs, boats, expensive hobbies like sailing and horseriding.

And my family wasn't on the breadline. My dad was a health and safety manager and my mum a part-time TA, I know my dad was earning circa £50k by the time I was in sixth form. We lived in an average 3 bed semi in a bog standard cul-de-sac. My dad drove a Mondeo, my mum drove a Fiesta. We generally had 1 UK holiday a year. I kept in touch with some friends from primary school. Going to the homes of those friends vs. my private school friends was like experiencing two different dimensions!

It's not just the £24k+ a year on the fees, it's also all the extracurricular stuff and expenses you have to be able to afford. It costs a fortune. I was quite good at music and tennis but my parents struggled to fork out for the same lessons, equipment, and trips my peers had access to. These aren't extracurricular activities at private school, it's expected you'll be involved in sports and music and various clubs - and be good at something. We didn't qualify for financial support for all that extra stuff because we weren't poor enough lol.

Ps. People on minimum wage don't even earn those £24k school fees in a year.