Why do people think parents who pay for private education are enormously wealthy?

[SheineOn]

Is this just the stereotype?

I went to a school that cost 18k a year (15 years ago). It’s now 24k a year.

There were wealthy people there. But also many ‘normal’ people. At least 40% fell into that category. People who lived on estates, drove modest cars, skipped holidays and ate cheaply.

They made a choice to spend their money on private education. For context, two of my closest friends have dc in private. They live off 450 a month after paying fees. They are not high earners.

Not everyone has endless wealth. Some are just happy to make the sacrifice. I find it strange people don’t seem to get that and makes me wonder how lacking in knowledge you must be to have that view of the private sector.

This, so much.

Ugh, that narrative is so annoying.

My whole wage could go on school fees at our nearest private for DS and we'd still need £10k.

Blimey op, private school hasn’t exactly endowed you with critical thinking or mathematical skills has it? 😂

As a former PS kid myself, I went on and considered private for the dds. But unlike my parents who faced MUCH lower fees in the late 80s/ 90s, we would have been among those parents making ‘massive sacrifices.’ And so we decided it would actually be doing our children an enormous disservice by ‘depriving’ them of all the things we could otherwise provide for them: educational and worldly holidays, trips, city tours, private tutoring during exam time, driving lessons, orthodontic braces, generous help at university and house buying stages (because by then our mortgage is paid) etc. Believe it or not, good parenting does not necessarily involve sacrificing yourself at the altar of private education.

For your sake, I would set your sights on being more creative in your approach to what being an involved, caring and mentoring parent is, op, because if you find yourselves in a position one day of not being able to afford private ed for your kids you will forever brand yourself as a failure.

The fact is that a huge amount of people in the most affluent areas of the UK see their lifestyles as modest and very average.

This is because they are coddled and sheilded from the ‘great unwashed’ to the point that their way of life is absolutely normal to them. They have no idea how most people live. They go to exclusive schools, enjoy exclusive hobbies and live in exclusive communities and to them that’s just life.

”Let them eat cake” springs to mind.

I agree that all of those groups are privileged.

I disagree that private school parents are the only ones that get criticised. Personally, I don't criticise anyone for doing what they believe is best for their children with the resources that they're able to access. I think most of us do that, although we might approach it in different ways.

My issue is with those who refuse to acknowledge their privilege and with those who consider themselves to be victims when they are merely being asked to contribute in a way that is fair. And that applies regardless of where they send their kids to school.

I fully recognise that my own family is privileged and I am happy for us to be taxed accordingly.

'yes, it is possible on less than an average wage. If you want to make choices to pay for it.'

How??? You're left with £5k for the whole year. Posh people are so ignorant

Of course and thank you for making my point, that you can't tar every private parent with being the same. We aren't 1 homogenous group of people. Every family is different, in same way as all state parents are different
Hene the frustration as being labelled ultra wealthy. I get that it makes for good straplines for politicians but as with everything, the reality is very different and varied.

I haven’t tarred anyone with the same brush, read my posts again.

I said family who aren’t high earners often have family wealth to help afford fees.
I said SAHPs, tutors and living in nice areas was not uncommon for private school dc.

You are the one who is saying the above is all wrong….

Im not sure what you are struggling to comprehend?

Not another thread on this 🙄

Blimey op, private school hasn’t exactly endowed you with critical thinking or mathematical skills has it?

It’s not good PR

I would be more than happy to be taxed through income tax ie a 1p ring fenced education tax because that would be fair and would raise more money.
The VAT is smoke and mirrors hiding the fact that Labour aren't promising to actually invest what is needed to improve state schools.
In an ideal world state schools would be so good that no-one would chose private but Labour aren't proposing that and VAT definitely won't do that. What we actually need is a Royal Commission into education and cross party agreement on long term funding commitments.

No, I don't and never have expected sympathy. It is wholly my choice and I have chosen to spend my salary as I see fit.

But equally I don't understand the vitriol and glee of some at the prospect of children having their education disrupted.

People spending money on private schools are buying advantages for their children: smaller classes, more resources, better buildings. They also buy the enormous feeling of entitled superiority that most private school kids maintain all their lives. This is part of their access to power; look at the private school/Oxbridge education of most of the cabinet!

I went to private school and we hope to send our DDs for secondary school (but that's quite a few years off at the moment).

We aren't ridiculously wealthy, and we will have to adjust our spending in other areas in order to afford the fees. But that's not a "sacrifice", it's a choice we're fortunate to be in the position to make.

Anyone who has £18k a year that they are able to free up through the choices they make is in a privileged position.

By definition, if any parent can afford to send their kids to private school - even if it does involve budgeting carefully or whatever - are well off. That's just a fact.

"The average cost per child is now £6,944 a term for day pupils, and £12,344 a term for boarders."

So for day kids, that's 21k a year compared to an average uk salary of around 30k. Given people have mortgages and stuff to pay for, you have to be well above average wage to be able to afford it.

£450 a month to pay for everything

ffs people are not stupid 🙄 what utter bollocks

its a privilege that very few can afford so yes compared to the vast majority they are wealthy

I know a few who’s grandparents/ex partners/full bursary (well I know of one and his parents are fairly comfortable) so they may not be living such a privileged life but it’s certainly a privilege for the children

most people don’t care and certainly the moaning privilege are not winning anyone over with their ridiculous claims of jealousy tax or how the scrimp and save and work so hard

ffs we have just gone through and still going through a cost of living crises

I do think people use "average" differently. Some people think that as their wage is average for their field and location, it's an "average" wage!

I have seen over the years plenty of posts on MN from parents saying they are thinking of private school. Lots of talk about running an old runabout car, camping holidays, no takeaways etc.

You will get a few posts counselling caution but you will get quite a few saying 'go for it' 'ask GPs for help' ' you won't regret it'.

Possibly this has changed with the recent threat of VAT on fees.

The median average salary for full-time workers (male and female) in the UK in 2023 was £34,963 (£33,000 in 2022 and £31,285 in 2021). The mean average salary for full-time workers in the UK (male and female) in 2023 was £42,210 (£39,966 in 2022 and £38,131 in 2021).

I went to a school that cost 18k a year (15 years ago). It’s now 24k a year.

Meaning take home of less than £ 28,245.10, so how can they live off 4k a year? Especially with at least 1 child?

Imagine what the zoo and her mates must think of the people who send their kids to normal schools!?
No holidays in 8 years, is state school that awful?

Ah yes, really good point. Yep - nowhere near enough to afford private education. Which goes to show just how out of touch the 7% are.

I could never have afforded private school it's a privilege for the well off of course there is going to be better more prestiges schools that fees are higher or lower, but don't kid yourself that you are not well off!

@GnomeDePlume I did mention family help for lower earners but according to @twistyizzy thats not a thing

@LizzieSiddal im afraid you’re the one out of touch here and lacking knowledge. The average salary in the UK in 2024 is 35k. When people say normal, they typically mean average and not people on 100k salaries. How on earth would someone on an average salary or less pay for private school fees by making sacrifices unless they are on a scholarship? I doubt the majority of private school kids are on a scholarship so most won’t be normal, most will be wealthy and even super rich, many will be very comfortable but you wouldn’t call them average or normal.

Agreed. It's a choice to plunge oneself into financial insecurity in order to privately educate a child.

It's not one I would have made. We only sent ours because we had very secure jobs and a decent savings cushion/margin to cope with fee rises.

It's huge to ask children to go without holidays or even financial security.

I doubt the majority of private school kids are on a scholarship so most won’t be normal

They aren’t.

“While some families receive financial support from their school, just 7 per cent of pupils at independent schools receive a means-tested bursary or scholarship, and just 1 per cent of pupils receive full bursaries, according to the PEPF’s fact-finder tool.”