Why do people think parents who pay for private education are enormously wealthy?

[SheineOn]

Is this just the stereotype?

I went to a school that cost 18k a year (15 years ago). It’s now 24k a year.

There were wealthy people there. But also many ‘normal’ people. At least 40% fell into that category. People who lived on estates, drove modest cars, skipped holidays and ate cheaply.

They made a choice to spend their money on private education. For context, two of my closest friends have dc in private. They live off 450 a month after paying fees. They are not high earners.

Not everyone has endless wealth. Some are just happy to make the sacrifice. I find it strange people don’t seem to get that and makes me wonder how lacking in knowledge you must be to have that view of the private sector.

Wrong again.
Please stop using assumptions and lazy stereotypes such as "family wealth".

That's out of order to call you that.

However, it's a bit tone deaf to pretend that being able to afford private school is not an immense privilege.

Agreed.

Our household income is around 80k (gross). I would consider ourselves to be comfortable. Even if we didn’t have an annual holiday and camping trips (estimated 10k a year), we couldn’t afford PE. These threads stir up bad feeling because of the use of the word “sacrifice”. The sacrifices mentioned is how the average family live. There’s not much else to sacrifice!

I did a little maths around the average £35k salary. I went for lower end for costs e.g. Band C/D Council Tax, cheap car owned outright with typical daily commute of 30 miles round trip, no subscription TV/cheap phone with lower end package, being careful with energy but not freezing etc.

Assuming the minimum 5% into pension, take home is £2297pm.

From that subtract £200 council tax, £250 energy costs, you said tiny mortgage so say £700, House/car etc insurance £200, other car costs (fuel, tax, servicing, new parts like tyres, fuel) £280, connectivity (phone, broadband) £100. That takes you to just shy of £1750. With the remaining £540 a month you need food, clothing, household cleaning, any household maintenance, any additional petrol.

This is all assuming you have the most basic of everything possible - no iPhone, no Netflix or Sky, no eating out, no holidays of course, no HP on anything, any additional entertainment like cinema, birthday/Christmas gifts, activities/hobbies. So pretty much stripped down and sacrifices made.

OP try doing the maths on your own essential living costs, and you may get a shock regarding what's left over (or not)

I understand that to some degree but then anyone who chooses to be a SAHM could be called privileged.
People who can afford tutors to get their kids into grammars are privileged.
People who can afford to move in the catchment of good state schools are privileged.

The only ones who get abuse, name calling etc are parents who chose private education.

Given that it's over twice the average household income, they are!

Wrong again.
Please stop using assumptions and lazy stereotypes such as "family wealth".

@twistyizzy How am I wrong? It’s certainly my experience. You understand your experience can’t be extrapolated to everyone? I understand that, hence why I used the word tend…

If your friends are paying 24k a year (2k a month) then they do earn a good amount of money. They might live off £450 each month but without private school fees they would have £2450. That would be a very large disposable income.

Exactly this. You'd think wealthy meant the same as murderer or rapist the way some on this site try to squeeze out of admitting they're wealthy
"Oh I've got a spare 24k a year but I'm broke because I don't go on holiday"
JUST ADMIT YOU'RE NOT BROKE 😂

I don't think you're living in the real world. Very few people on less than average pay can manage £24k per year. If they can, they are probably living rent or mortgage free. The fact that only 7% of children attend private schools should make it clear to you how unattainable it is for the absolute majority of families in this country.

I don't imagine that families who send their children to private schools are extremely wealthy, but they are generally in the top 10-20% of earners. There is very little sympathy amongst most people for the potential addition of VAT, which is lessened even more so by people bleating on about how hard they work and the sacrifices they make. As if to suggest that those who don't send their children to private school don't also work hard and make sacrifices.

But also many ‘normal’ people. At least 40% fell into that category. People who lived on estates, drove modest cars, skipped holidays and ate cheaply.

If you can afford this AND £25k a year on private school fees, you are a high earner. You need a whole salary of probably £40k plus, to get enough post tax to pay just one set of private school fees.

And that is with nothing left for rent/mortgate/food/bills.

What part of the maths are you struggling with?

We're certainly not wealthy. Our DD goes to a top private girls' school and she achieved a scholarship to get in. We also have a bursary so our fees are greatly reduced.

I'm pretty sure that if we did a survey of the type of people who send their daughters to this school, we'd definitely be in the minority of those parents who feel 'poor' and on Universal Credit, with a lot less than most.

I understand that to some degree but then anyone who chooses to be a SAHM could be called privileged.
*People who can afford tutors to get their kids into grammars are privileged.
People who can afford to move in the catchment of good state schools are privileged.

The only ones who get abuse, name calling etc are parents who chose private education.

These aren’t separate groups though. Plenty of private school parents have a SAHP, live in nice areas and use tutors 😆

I don’t have an issue with private schools but some of the recent threads about the VAT issue have been embarrassing.

Also more people have 2 children than one.

Very very few people can set aside 60 or 70k of pre tax salary for schooling.

Most families in the uk have very little left after paying for their mortgage, bills, food, modest car etc.

Agree with this.

We decided against private school at a point where my employer would have paid for it. If I left that job the full bill would fall to me and the full bill was practically all of my pre-tax salary.

I do not sneer at people who send DCs to private school but I do wonder how many really look at whether they can afford it. Given how many people on MN have expressed huge concerns about VAT coming in I guess an awful lot are in a financially precarious position.

If VAT comes in then I expect bursaries will largely disappear from a lot of schools for new applicants. In the first instance they will look to keep existing students.

Some people decide they can make sacrifices to afford private school but I do wonder how long-lasting those sacrifices can be. At some point cars/boilers/washing machines etc need to be replaced.

Agree with you, but two parents earning £35k a year brings in nowhere near £70K after deductions. After tax, pension, student loan etc it’s more like £52k. Which after your £48k living expenses leaves precisely £4k left over.

All of DDs friends are dual income families, I am not aware of any SAHP but obviously that may not be representative of the whole school.
Again, no use of additional tutors.

Almost 50 years ago, I met a group of private school students around my age. One of them told me my father could've sent me to such a school "if he had worked harder".

My father was a coal miner. He couldn't have worked any harder in order to put a roof over his family's head and food on the table.

I'm sick to death of those who CAN afford this privilege for their children justifying it by insisting everyone else could if they "worked harder and made sacrifices".

Absolute bollocks.

I do not sneer at people who send DCs to private school but I do wonder how many really look at whether they can afford it. Given how many people on MN have expressed huge concerns about VAT coming in I guess an awful lot are in a financially precarious position.

Which is odd as you often see on MN “don’t commit to PE” unless you can comfortably afford it/have savings.

Please do not put words into my mouth.
I did not suggest I would 'rather' any such thing. If you honestly believe i did, please re-read my post.

My observation was that there may be an expectation from those doing the sums on this policy that individuals able to afford private school through sacrifice, if no longer able to afford it, might put more money into the economy by purchasing things which no longer need to be 'sacrificed'.

All of DDs friends are dual income families, I am not aware of any SAHP but obviously that may not be representative of the whole school.
Again, no use of additional tutors.

@twistyizzy but again you understand that your experience doesn’t equal everyone’s?

Are we meant to feel sorry for folks who aren't wealthy but make what is a personal spending choice- ?? Unless children have really special needs and there isn't a local special needs school available or a suitable mainstream school- I have no sympathy whatsoever- just as I don't expect people to have sympathy with my high rent in a nice area (and we aren't wealthy either)- it's our choice.

People on less than the average can afford to pay £24k in school fees? Really? The average wage is £35.5k, £28k after tax, who exactly can afford to live on £4k/year? Even if you owned a house outright that is not do-able no matter how much you sacrifice.

Of course and thank you for making my point, that you can't tar every private parent with being the same. We aren't 1 homogenous group of people. Every family is different, in same way as all state parents are different
Hene the frustration as being labelled ultra wealthy. I get that it makes for good straplines for politicians but as with everything, the reality is very different and varied.

Agree.