Why do people think parents who pay for private education are enormously wealthy?

[SheineOn]

Is this just the stereotype?

I went to a school that cost 18k a year (15 years ago). It’s now 24k a year.

There were wealthy people there. But also many ‘normal’ people. At least 40% fell into that category. People who lived on estates, drove modest cars, skipped holidays and ate cheaply.

They made a choice to spend their money on private education. For context, two of my closest friends have dc in private. They live off 450 a month after paying fees. They are not high earners.

Not everyone has endless wealth. Some are just happy to make the sacrifice. I find it strange people don’t seem to get that and makes me wonder how lacking in knowledge you must be to have that view of the private sector.

Your friends are idiots then 🙄

Is someone else paying the Majority of their living costs as 44k after tax less 19k is not enough for a man and child to live off on its own

You do know that many elderly people have only a little more than that to live on. My dm is one of them.

I am terribly deflated about the prospect of there being VAT on school fees in case of Starmer's party winning. My eldest has SEN, the state primary was terrible, I am a single parent and I quite literally dug myself into the ground during the last 4-5 years to save some money for private secondary to improve the experience. No weekends, no holidays, took on weekend and late night parallel projects sometimes. All for the pleasure of paying ridiculous amounts in tax (for what?) and now not even being able to afford it if there is a +20% step increase (I allowed for a gradual increase over years, but not that). Would have gladly left the UK but can't due to family court. Hurrah to my life, now will read the thread about how lucky and wealthy I am.

I love it when someone makes the comment that should end the thread within the first few posts. @Singlemumtoadog wins the thread.

No they don't.

The median salary in the UK is £29,000 ish, Take-home will be about £24k

So in a two person household with a single child that's the whole of one person's salary gone on school fees.

The Median mortgage for a two-parent family in the UK is £1200/month, already we're down to £1000 / month, food is going to cost £100 / week on a very tight budget...

that leaves £600.....

Energy, bills and running a car will easily take care of the rest.

So while I don't doubt there are a load of people who you don't consider to be wealthy sending their kids to private schools, they're definitely not 'below average earners'

This, exactly. You don't get to private school if you're living on a council estate surviving on beans on toast every night. Sorry, but if you're affording that, you ARE well off, in that you have that money at your disposal, and that's how you're choosing to spend it rather than, in my opinion, the more sensible way of investing it into your child's wider upbringing.

Yeah, I agree with this.
If you can afford it, that's great, and yes you're wealthy.
If you can't really afford it and struggle but do it anyway, well that's daft.

Quite , my daughter gets a scholarship because she is a talented singer, but it's only 10% of the fees (and we wouldn't send her if we'd have to withdraw her if the scholarship got pulled)

Yes but if you’d bother to make sacrifices like pitching a tent in the park, dumpster diving for food and washing only when it rains - you, too, could afford it. Please try harder.

This a million times over.

It's the 'that's just what WE prioritise and WE sacrifice other things so our children have the BEST education' that rubs people up the wrong way. I'm a nurse. I could sacrifice every holiday/treat/nice house/day out under the sun and I can't afford the cheapest private school. Those who have the option even with tightening belts elsewhere to pay for private school are in a position of massive privilege.

It's all relative. Some people earn less than 24k a year. Some people earn 170k a year and moan that they don't get child benefit.

And do you not think that is a good idea? That all state schools get enough money to give a decent education. And therefor there is no need for you to scrimp and save to go private?

Though of course it backfires if everyone leaves private and goes state, so it is perhaps not the right way to get the extra money. But it is the unfairness of being able to purchase a better chance in life that people are complaining about. And to fix it someone somewhere will have to pay more tax.

Yes - it’s like what I always say about people who buy brand new cars. They’re either incredibly wealthy or a bit dim (but that’s another thread 🤣)

Our entire household income is £2k a month. So yes I do think someone who can pay out fees of £24k a year on top of their living expenses is wealthy.

If they have a spare 18k a year they're wealthy. Even if we didn't go on holiday and ate beans on toast every day we wouldn't be able to afford it. Not that I would want my kids to go to private school but that's beside the point.

I find it astonishing that your friends forfeit life experience for private education. I suppose I just assume most people who send their children to private school are wealthy because if they are not, they are making quite a poor set of choices(which I would find odd for people who highly value education).

I'm on an average wage and the only way I could afford private school is if we sold our house and moved the whole family into a 1-bed studio flat meant for students or a room in a houseshare. Education is important but not more important than a roof over our heads.

I do think your sense of average can change the more you earn and tends to be more based on your circle- I know lots of couples on around £45k each or variations of it (around 80 to 90k income pre tax) who would say they are average earners- they probable are 'in their circle' and £6500k a month income doesn't make you feel loaded if you have rent and mortgage over £2k plus maybe a car lease (or 2) and childcare expenses etc - at that level I would say you could probably just about afford it - but only if you have 1 child , and not nursery fees on top etc - or have no mortgage/rent. A great many children there today are there I'm sure by virtue of inherited money, sold businesses, grandparents paying etc - and those paying fully themselves are on well above 'average ' incomes.

A whole load of info has been excluded. £450 a month is not enough to pay mortgage/rent, bills, food, clothes, school uniform and transport. It can't be done.
Or do you mean £450 is after all essential costs are paid for and this is just fun money?

Agreed - not wealthy but certainly comfortably off to be able to spend that money (with an expensive uniform and potentially activities on top) and still have enough to pay rent/mortgage, have enough to eat, have a car etc.

What do you see as an average wage?

I’m really tired of hearing people with kids in private school whining like they’re hard done by. Really tired.

What if you're just...poor? That's a load of money to pay for school. More than an annual salary. So it's really very easy to see why people assume you're rich. If you can afford that, you're a hell of a lot better off than lots of people.

A great many children there today are there I'm sure by virtue of inherited money, sold businesses, grandparents paying etc - and those paying fully themselves are on well above 'average ' incomes.

Exactly