To think staying in your pyjamas on stay at home days is minging?

[Iaminthefly]

A mum has just posted on one of my SM groups saying that she never gets herself or DC out of their pyjamas if they are having a day in the house. She asked if other people do the same. Loads of people have responded saying they also don't dress themselves or DC if they aren't planning on leaving the house.

AIBU to find this a bit minging? Fair enough if you're ill or as a one off, but every time you are home? Who want's to sit around all day unwashed in clothes you've had on all night? Also surely it's setting a terrible example for your children?

Maybe I'm just an old dinosaur but I think it shows a shocking lack of any standards.

Feel free to tell me I'm old and out of touch.

It’s great that you know your own mental health needs but the rigidity in which you’re applying your own values on other people is a bit odd. Some people don’t consider spending time at home to be a waste, they find plenty of things to do. Of course, lack of motivation and interest can be part of poor mental health, but so can rigidity and having fixed expectations which you judge yourself and everyone else by. So can lots of things.

On both counts, as a standalone thing, it’s fine as long as it doesn’t start interfering with your life.

PJ have morphed over the years.
Now, you find people saying they have been in their pajamas all day, and they mean more like jogging bottoms and a sweatshirt. Definitely not what they slept in the previous night.
I think a lot of "PJs all day" actually means I got up, got clean and dressed, but didn't put on clothes I would leave the house in.

Agree with this...and whoever said you are coming across as a bit of a bully. And a petty one at that.
Let people live as they please fgs. You don't set the bar.

I'm not a PJ day person myself but I really couldn't give a fuck who stays in theirs.

I'm often in pj's in the day, but I do shower and I don't sleep in pj's. I also wash bedding every week. I wouldn't go to shops in them and also wouldn't go in a lounge suit but plenty of people do.

YABU. It is not "minging."
You come across as very judgmental and superior op. (And I don't do it personally, but don't feel the need to judge others that do.)

I've had days like this since the 80s. My teenage children have had days like this since they were little.

I see it as an occasional nice treat on a lazy day.

I certainly don't consider it minging.

YABU for managing to use two of the most annoying words in the English language - minging and grim!

I couldn't stay in my pyjamas all day because it would make me feel down, but I don't think badly of people who do. That's their business. And why do you assume they are sitting around? They might be cleaning, doing DIY, baking, clearing out the shed or whatever.

I think pyjamas in the day are fine if you’re ill. I dont think children benefit from staying in the house in pyjamas all day. Maybe as a one off in the holidays but absolutely not 3 days a week. It’s just lazy parenting and poor role modelling.For me, getting dressed is psychologically important as a start to the day and feeling ‘ready to go’ (even if I’m not actually going anywhere other than into the garden) For very small children it helps establish routines and an understanding of what (for most people) is usual.
I would be incredibly embarrassed answering the door in pyjamas (although I presume the all day pyjama wearers are the same people who don’t answer the door and are horrified by the idea of friends dropping round uninvited!)

You keep saying that you’re old, what do you mean by old?

I’m in my 50s, my parents wouldn’t dream of having a pyjama day, but for my kids it was always a real treat.

I think it's sad that if someone couldn't be arsed to walk their dog, people would be up in arms about the cruelty and laziness of it and they'd question your ability to care for that dog generally. But keeping your children indoors all day, left in their PJs so that everybody knows that going out isn't on the agenda, is considered some kind of bohemian choice that shouldn't be judged.

Op I completely agree, especially in the context of it being a mum who posted.
In my experience, a day at home with kids, has to necessitate time in the garden and usually includes the odd unforeseen quick trip to the corner shop etc. Who can actually manage to not cross the threshold for a whole day, with kids!
To me, it snacks not only of laziness, but also selfishness and show me a child who actually benefits from a day inside. Even In the peeing rain, any child needs fresh air.
Have a ‘stay at home day’ where you have no large plans, but be dressed, be prepared for eventualities, pop out even just for half an hour, get in pjs early for a movie night or whatever, but get dressed!

And what's wrong with not doing anything? That's the whole point.

How often have you had to leave the house at no notice?

Occasionally I have a pyjama day but it involves having a bath during the day and putting on fresh PJs afterwards.

Sorry I didn't mean to be snippy Just on my first coffee !

I think it’s fair to say that you presume wrong.

I wouldn’t think twice about anyone coming to the door when I’m wearing pyjamas. As long as they’re decent, it’s no different from wearing comfy clothes of any description.

@MagnetCarHair

But consigning children to this half life is really bad parenting and robs children of the chance to not only go out but to feel like they have had a meaningful day and they are worthy of being a part of it. Not just whiling away time between one sleep and the next.

I totally agree with this. It’s not fashionable at the moment because everyone is into the importance of kids being bored as a life mantra but I think there needs to be a sense of intent to every day. Every day should have some purpose, however small.

Of course we all have slob days and down days. But I don’t think its healthy to see vegging about as a default setting. It pulls people into this sluggish mindset and affects their motivation. Wearing PJs all the time is small but symbolically it is quite important, it basically says “I can’t be arsed”. And that affects your sense of intent.

Are you a mushroom?

I'm going to be absolutely flamed for this but I think thinking it's okay to stay in pyjamas all day is a terrible mindset to have.

Well, I'll join your ashes because I think so too.

How about not releasing you’ve run out of milk? Bread?
A dentist appointment you’d forgotten about? You know, the things that befall busy, overloaded minds

Why?

We don't sleep clothed but DH has lounge pants/pj bottoms that he'll wear to WFH or just potter around. So he is technically getting dressed everyday into clothes he hasn't slept in. He has sleep issues so if he has a day time nap he strips off again. We double wear clothes unless they're marked or the weather has made this impractical, so he may wear the same combo for a couple of days - but they certainly aren't worn to bed.

I have scruffy old things for round the house. I've noticed that I wear my dressing gown as a cardi over things a bit more than I'd like lately so I'm currently looking for something to wear in lieu of this. Staying in just dressing gowns here is very, very occasional and means you're knackered or sick.

Well it doesn't take that long to throw some clothes on if you are just nipping out.

That’s a very odd comparison, unless your kids have to toilet outdoors.

Why would going out have to be ‘on the agenda’? You’re massively overthinking this. The occasional pyjama day is not going to make your kids depressed or turn into slovenly hermits.

As kids, ours had occasional pyjama days, as young adults they’re perfectly rounded human beings who are able to stay at home sometimes and entertain themselves but also enjoy spending time outdoors, including park run, camping, hiking, biking - all sorts of things. One works and goes to University, the other has SEND and goes to college and does volunteer work. They weren’t broken by staying in their pyjamas a few times a year, watch films, playing games, baking etc. Nobody died of consumption or scurvy and nobody ended up depressed and unfit.