We don't like the same food - AIBU?

[Teenagehorrorbag]

DH likes gravy dinners. He likes potatoes and veg, with a piece of meat or fish. A Sunday roast is his favourite. He also likes steak/sausages/gammon and chips once a week or so. (As do I.....)

He will eat anything - and does occasionally eat pasta (preferably lasagne, ideally with chips and peas). Rice is OK with curry, and he does actually like that from time to time. He also enjoys a chinese takeaway. But he's really not keen on any other sort of pasta, stir fries, noodles, etc or anything 'mixed up'. (Though he eats stew, chilli - with chunky beef - and even soup)!

I prefer things like lasagne, spag bol, mince and spuds, corned beef hash, pasta bake, risotto, shepherds pie etc. But do also enjoy gravy dinners from to time, but not 7 nights a week.

My teenage kids eat and enjoy anything, pretty much.

DH never cooks or prepares food - he says he can't (Mummy's boy). Mid 50s - he's not going to change. I hate cooking and meal planning but accepted that was my role when we got together - but never dreamt how fussy he would be.

Today I couldn't think of anything so made a tuna pasta bake. It had onions, peppers and sweetcorn so contained protein, carbs, dairy and veg. He moaned and moaned and stared at it, pushing it round his plate, for ages. The kids loved it and had seconds. He kept saying it was for people who had no teeth and nobody eats food like that. Just so rude - he really pissed me off and I did get quite angry! He had steak pie with spuds and veg and gravy last night, so I don't think I'm unreasonable doing something the rest of us like today. He's not allergic to anything and doesn't hate any of the ingredients as such - just that it's not really his preferred sort of food.

Please tell me most people (including those with penises) do eat pasta bakes, stir fries, and similar. He's convinced I'm weird.......

He’s weird

if he doesn’t like it he can learn to cook and do himself something else

Is he a toddler who doesn’t like his food touching?

a pasta bake is a good meal.

If he’s going to be fussy he can learn to cook!
you are definitely not being unreasonable

Just cook for yourself and DC and let him fend for himself.

DH and I never eat together. We don't have DC though which makes it easier.

We take it in turns to cook, we've an agreement that we don't criticise each others meals.

He cooks or shuts up. There's always sandwich makings if he doesn't want his dinner I presume.

He can learn to cook, it's never too late.
Start making more meals you and the children enjoy and leave him to grumble.
What would happen if you became unable to cook at all op? He needs to grow up.

If he is never going to cook he doesn't get to complain. My DH is a bit of a meat and two veg sort of fella. But he never does the cooking so eats what I cook.

I do ask him to tell me if he doesn't like something as there is no point in cooking it again but usually he says nothign. He only says something usually after I've said that wasn't the best was it!

I don't eat pasta bakes, stir fries etc.
I KNOW I have limited eating habits and wouldn't expect someone else to cook for me every night.
He is being incredibly rude, and of course he is able to cook.

I wouldn’t put up with someone who won’t cook criticising and deciding what the family eats. He should put up / shut up / shift his arse and cook.

No way could I eat that stodge EVERY night.

My husband and I have always had very different taste in food and I spent the first 30 years we were together making separate meals about half the time. He has always liked fairly plain food and his idea of heaven is roast beef and roast potatoes, which I don't think I could eat to save my life. He's gradually got better over the years and will now eat pasta and pizza, which makes life much easier, and we eat the same food probably six days out of seven now.

Well my husband wouldn't eat Tuna Pasta bake. But that's because he hates Tinned Tuna. He would eat all the other things you like though and actually, he does nearly all the cooking.
As other say, either he cooks or he doesn't complain. For me, this whole scenario would be an absolute no!

He’s the weird one. If he doesn’t like it, he can cook something himself. Oh no wait, he can’t.

Even if pasta bakes were unusual (and tuna pasta bake was a popular family meal in my rural village childhood so god knows why he thinks that), he’s still rude complaining about meal he didn’t make that other people are enjoying. He doesn’t have to like something, and I (unlike other posters on MN) don’t think there’s a problem with him saying that the meal isn’t to his taste, but continually moaning and pushing food around and making sarky comments is terrible behaviour.

You say he’s in his mid-fifties and isn’t going to change, but why not? The meals which it sounds like he enjoys aren’t complex; he isn’t wanting an Ottolenghi style spread each night! He can learn to cook; he just doesn’t value you enough to share that load with you. Can you spend the next thirty years doing a chore you hate for someone who is rude and ungrateful about it?

He moaned and moaned and stared at it, pushing it round his plate, for ages.

You should be absolutely fucking RAGING. How dare he bitch and moan as though you're the skivvy who didn't live up to expectations. What an absolutely appalling example he set for your kids. I wouldn't cook another fucking thing for this useless twat. How on earth can you muster up the resolve to have sex with such a pathetic man?

I am dumbfounded that anyone would tolerate this shit.

I cook, my family eat. They get to nominate 3 things that they prefer not to have (these days they don’t really care except no fish pie or omelette Arnold bennet). Other than those, they get no opinion except, thank you. I tell them it is a catering service, NOT a restaurant. Choice is for the chef.

Next time he moans, give him a warning, 2nd time a reminder, 3rd time withdraw all services.

N.B. It’s a shame he’s too thick to learn to cook, what a poor reflection on him.

My dp doesn’t like mixed up food and would prefer not to eat a pasta back. He cooks his own food.

Why are you pandering to it? Tell him to cook his own tea. He can read, he can follow a recipe.

We eat mainly food that you like, pasta bakes, other pasta dishes, stir fry, pizza, salads, chilli and rice, curry, fajitas, shepherds pie. Sometimes food like your DH but less often. Make what you want, he can cook for himself if he doesn’t like it, or become less fussy.

That ^^ but that's probably why I'm single

Anyone cooks for me, I eat it and say thank you as that's what I was taught to do. Also I'm really appreciative of anyone even making me toast as I cook every meal!

Not defending him but could it be a sensory issue?
If you fed me that I genuinely couldn’t eat it and I don’t think I could even push it around my plate. I’m well aware it’s a popular staple meal but the thought, even thinking enough to type it makes me want to 🤮.

I can’t help it - but I also can cook!

I don’t have any issues with foods touching, things being mixed etc I just have strange dislikes to certain combinations. However it could be that he has an underlying issue which he’s not even particularly aware of. Not liking things touching, sauces mixing etc if this was a child you were describing it would scream autism…

Is he a time traveller?

He’s weird; there’s a few dinners that DD and I like that DH doesn’t and vice versa so on those nights we eat different food that we each cook, no drama or sulking and everyone’s happy

If he can't cook he can put a frozen pie, mash and veg in the oven. Or ready meals exist
You cook, he eats it. Or he sorts his own food

If he doesn’t like what you have made, he can make his own food. And I would be having very strong words with him for being so disrespectful of me, my time, and my effort, especially in front of the children.

A sensory issue doesn’t mean he has to be rude about it though. I have sensory issues with texture of anything which is jelly like but if I were served it, I’d just politely ignore it on my plate, eat around it if possible and (if it were someone who cooks for me regularly) thank them for the effort, but sorry it’s not the right dish for me. I might gag if I chewed on it without expecting, but I’d apologise for my reaction and not draw it out. I wouldn’t make nasty comments about a meal which other people at the table were enjoying. I wouldn’t moan and call it weird and push it around my plate. I’d accept that my issues are the problem not the meal, and sort myself out rather than expecting the world to revolve around me.

My DH is exactly like this too. He would never complain about what I've made as he'd be told to like it or lump it. I do usually make things that I know he'll like but sometimes it's what I like even though he doesn't particularly enjoy them (eg chicken dishes, I'd have them every night but I space them out to maybe two to three times a month as he's not keen).