We don't like the same food - AIBU?

[Teenagehorrorbag]

DH likes gravy dinners. He likes potatoes and veg, with a piece of meat or fish. A Sunday roast is his favourite. He also likes steak/sausages/gammon and chips once a week or so. (As do I.....)

He will eat anything - and does occasionally eat pasta (preferably lasagne, ideally with chips and peas). Rice is OK with curry, and he does actually like that from time to time. He also enjoys a chinese takeaway. But he's really not keen on any other sort of pasta, stir fries, noodles, etc or anything 'mixed up'. (Though he eats stew, chilli - with chunky beef - and even soup)!

I prefer things like lasagne, spag bol, mince and spuds, corned beef hash, pasta bake, risotto, shepherds pie etc. But do also enjoy gravy dinners from to time, but not 7 nights a week.

My teenage kids eat and enjoy anything, pretty much.

DH never cooks or prepares food - he says he can't (Mummy's boy). Mid 50s - he's not going to change. I hate cooking and meal planning but accepted that was my role when we got together - but never dreamt how fussy he would be.

Today I couldn't think of anything so made a tuna pasta bake. It had onions, peppers and sweetcorn so contained protein, carbs, dairy and veg. He moaned and moaned and stared at it, pushing it round his plate, for ages. The kids loved it and had seconds. He kept saying it was for people who had no teeth and nobody eats food like that. Just so rude - he really pissed me off and I did get quite angry! He had steak pie with spuds and veg and gravy last night, so I don't think I'm unreasonable doing something the rest of us like today. He's not allergic to anything and doesn't hate any of the ingredients as such - just that it's not really his preferred sort of food.

Please tell me most people (including those with penises) do eat pasta bakes, stir fries, and similar. He's convinced I'm weird.......

Make that pasta bake the last meal you ever cook for the ungrateful twat. He can buy ready made meat and veg meals to microwave if he can't be arsed to cook.

I loathe tuna pasta bake as I detest tuna. Not fond of pasta bakes either. But I do love stir frys.

If your DC and you love it then make a pasta bake every night until he apologises. What an ungrateful twat.

His problem, not yours. If it were just you and him, then it would be harder to ignore his fussiness because you would be the only one eating any meal he didn’t like, but in this situation it’s 3 against 1–he can scrounge something for himself if he wants to be that way.

Precisely this.

That's what DD said........😁

Is he my Dad? Who claims he isn't fussy, he will eat anything. Like: chicken, veg and potatoes or beef, veg and potatoes or lamb veg and potatoes or salmon, veg and potatoes or pork, veg and potatoes. Anything really.

No way! How rude. On the rare occasion I make something DH doesn't like, he will try a few bites and sit at the table and chat with the family while we eat. He would never complain like a bloody toddler.
I'm 50/50 no dinner for him or pasta bake every night. The bloody cheek of him.

He's acting like a spoiled child. If he were my dh I would cook for the children and me, and he would have to fend for himself.

Sorry, I can't believe you married a man who pretends he can't learn to cook - does he also struggle with driving a car and using a computer or is it just traditionally women's work he pretends he can't learn?

Why does he think it's okay to complain about what you cook if he never cooks?? Does he have any awareness of how spoilt and entitled that is? Would he allow the kids to be rude to you like that?

On a lighter note: never ever cook for him again and if you do, make sure its tuna pasta bake.

He sounds like a man child. Complete ick

My DH defines tuna pasta bake as “faster pasta” and implies it’s something I put together when I don’t have time to do anything more thought-over…. As it’s made from scratch with just about the same about of veg chopping and thinking as anything else I make, the phrase does annoy me! But it’s always accompanied by a phrase about really appreciating comfort food and requests for seconds.

It’s a rare occurrence that he would actually complain at any food, but occasionally very carefully phrases appreciation for dinner but perhaps that combination of flavours doesn’t quite work. He’d soon find himself going hungry if he started being rude about it.

I really did have strong words!

I also said he could make his own packed lunch for tomorrow as I was pissed off and didn't feel like doing him favours. (I shouldn't have to anyway but he works a manual job [3 days only] and I am only part time [1 day] as I was a SAHM so do the kids and the house etc, but now get my work pension so pay everything equally and always have done). But I drew the line and he looked mystified and said 'I can do that but I really don't know what's got into you...."

I think it goes in one ear and out of the other.

We have an autistic DS and DH is clearly on the spectrum although he refuses to accept that. I've learned so much over the years..... Other PPs have suggested it might be a sensory thing but it's not. He can eat a plateful of Chinese meal for four with ten different things all on the plate - and as I said, he can eat chilli (on rice or jacket potato) all touching each other. I think he just doesn't believe that pasta is real food!

He expects you to cook and he thinks he can criticize your efforts!! He wouldn't last long in this house. The only response to a dinner put in front of you is "thank you so much" If the cook invites feedback fair enough, but in the absence of "What did you think of that? Should I make it again" thank you is what he should have said. He is unbelievably rude and petulant.

I like your dd's idea.

I don't like tuna bake because I dont like hot tuna unless it's a rare tuna steak.
I love stir fry.
But I am with all PPs , he can cook his own food !
The more you say 'he won't change' the less likely he is to change .

And if at 50 he can't cook egg chips and beans / sausage egg and chips /
Sausage mash and gravy /

Or even just cheese or beans on toast , he can sod right off to Iceland and buy a frozen meal .

The disrespect he shows you is astounding and if he is not carful his odd food habits will rub off on your dcs.

He cooks himself

OR

He eats what you cook with good grace

Its that simple, surely?

Good god you make his packed lunch for him too !
For the love of your own sanity stop !

Think of it like this ,
You are looking for a new job
The interview marriage goes well
You are offered the job and are told you have to work 365 days per year with no pay .
200 of them days your 'boss' is going to complain about your work
Your boss never shows you how he would like the work to be done, just complains to you infront of your colleges dcs

How long would you stay in that job ?

Your poor daughter. What a horrible example for her.

He's only in his fifties and you say he won't change? There is no way I'd be making his dinner every night. Of course he can cook something basic!

I could not handle this. How dull.

DH never cooks or prepares food - he says he can't (Mummy's boy). Mid 50s - he's not going to change.

But you can change. Stop cooking for him.
Also agree with a pp who said your poor daughter. You are teaching her that it's fine to keep wiping the arse of a disrespectful man. Of course he CAN cook he just wont because you plan on doing it for him forever.

Cook the meals you and your kids enjoy. He can have a ready meal. He's being a selfish, ungrateful twat.

My husband and I do take turns cooking but I cook more often. If he doesn't fancy what I am cooking then he cooks for himself. We eat pasta bakes.

We eat pasta, stir fry, curry, fishcakes, casseroles & stews, shepherd's pie, tacos, chilli etc. Very rarely meat & two veg type meals. In 34 years I can't remember DH ever complaining and always eats what's put in front of him and is grateful that I've cooked a meal! 5 sons all the same. If your DH is fussy, let him fend for himself - he's a grown man and can surely open a tin of soup or put a pie in the oven!

I don't like warm tuna at all, it's one of the few foods I really don't like, but I absolutely would have eaten it because I was raised to eat whatever is put in front of me and say thank you, a lesson your husband apparently missed. Although I suppose I can understand really not liking something, but there is absolutely no need to be such a rude baby about it.

IMO if you refuse to cook, you don't get to complain or be a dickhead about it. If he's incapable of making himself a cheese sandwich if he's not keen on whatever you've made then he can just go hungry can't he?

Everything from your list sounds like completely standard normal food though, it's not as if you're serving up weird shit. Stir fry, pasta bakes, risotto, shepherd's pie are all regular easy "feed the family" dinners in most households surely? I reckon just make what you like and the big baby can like it, lump it, or bloody well learn to cook.