We don't like the same food - AIBU?

[Teenagehorrorbag]

DH likes gravy dinners. He likes potatoes and veg, with a piece of meat or fish. A Sunday roast is his favourite. He also likes steak/sausages/gammon and chips once a week or so. (As do I.....)

He will eat anything - and does occasionally eat pasta (preferably lasagne, ideally with chips and peas). Rice is OK with curry, and he does actually like that from time to time. He also enjoys a chinese takeaway. But he's really not keen on any other sort of pasta, stir fries, noodles, etc or anything 'mixed up'. (Though he eats stew, chilli - with chunky beef - and even soup)!

I prefer things like lasagne, spag bol, mince and spuds, corned beef hash, pasta bake, risotto, shepherds pie etc. But do also enjoy gravy dinners from to time, but not 7 nights a week.

My teenage kids eat and enjoy anything, pretty much.

DH never cooks or prepares food - he says he can't (Mummy's boy). Mid 50s - he's not going to change. I hate cooking and meal planning but accepted that was my role when we got together - but never dreamt how fussy he would be.

Today I couldn't think of anything so made a tuna pasta bake. It had onions, peppers and sweetcorn so contained protein, carbs, dairy and veg. He moaned and moaned and stared at it, pushing it round his plate, for ages. The kids loved it and had seconds. He kept saying it was for people who had no teeth and nobody eats food like that. Just so rude - he really pissed me off and I did get quite angry! He had steak pie with spuds and veg and gravy last night, so I don't think I'm unreasonable doing something the rest of us like today. He's not allergic to anything and doesn't hate any of the ingredients as such - just that it's not really his preferred sort of food.

Please tell me most people (including those with penises) do eat pasta bakes, stir fries, and similar. He's convinced I'm weird.......

If he doesn't like what you cook then tough luck,.he'll just have to grow up and learn to do some cooking. I'm embarrassed for him that he can't do any in this day and age.

We are in a similar position. I cook for me and my son. Partner cooks for himself later. I occasionally do a roast or something for all of us at the weekend. It works for us.

He's never too old to learn how to cook.
You made him what he likes one day, the what you like the next.
Or he can sort himself out.

I cook 5 days a week. Often I make things to DCs tastes rather than his and he always politely thanks me for cooking.

Simple. He appreciates whst you prepare or makes his own

please tell me most people (including those with penises) do eat pasta bakes, stir fries, and similar. He's convinced I'm weird...
Of course they do, unfortunately you are not married to one 🙄
Personally I wouldn't cook for him, if he's so bothered he'll learn to cook his own won't he?

Yanbu.

I'd be fed up if a grown adult, who refused to cook, sat their and pushed their food around their plate in a huff.

He CAN cook. Recipes are just instructions. I'm not a carpenter but I can buy an IKEA plat pack and follow the instructions and figure it out.

Cook what you want, let him huff. How unattractive of him.

Same here.

That's ridiculous that he thinks one person gets to choose what everybody eats every day.

All four of you should be cooking across the week and appreciating the nights they don't have to cook, not moaning at someone else's choice.

My husband won’t eat mixed food. He is also hyper critical of every meal he eats, regardless of who cooks the dood. Even if he cooks, he starts the meal dissecting what is wrong with what he made.

I stopped cooking for him pretty early in our marriage. It was the only way for us to survive. If he cooks for us, will eat what he makes and not complain. That means I have eaten some pretty awful meals because he likes dry meat and very plain sides, but I choke them down and I thank him for cooking. Most nights we just have separate dinners.

Things like sausages and mash and shepherds pie though are what I would call gravy dinners- I would do that twice a week for everyone , plus roast and he cooks for himself every other night- if he will eat chilli- add that in too that cuts one night down as well for him - my H likes ramens, I hate them, so he makes it for himself twice a week

He’s a product of his upbringing, used to “traditional” British food. Sad but common. Unlikely to ever change now.

I eat and my husband eats whatever we have put in front of each other.

Im not a huge jacket potato fan, if my husband made it me I’d eat it without complaint!

I couldn’t cope with the whinging. Write a menu of what you are making that week, write shopping list and ask him if he wants to eat what everyone else in the family is eating or does he need to add something on he can prepare himself.

I'm with him on tuna pasta bake. Tuna and cheese do not belong on the same plate.

I wouldn't eat tuna pasta bake either!

Well he can always learn to cook what he wants if he's not happy with what you're making can't he? :)

Of course he can change. If op stops cooking he isnt going to starve.

Why have you enabled it all this time? You say he was a ‘mummy’s boy’ but he still is.

Me and my DH have completely different diets and favoured times to eat, we’ve been married over 30 years and brought up 3 kids - it’s never been an issue. Why? Because I never became the default cook and bottle washer. We sort our own food out and acted as a team when it came to the kids.

This is mostly down to you. He’s a grown adult in his 50s ffs. He doesn’t need mummy to cook for him any more. So don’t.

He can cook his own tea or go home to mummy's for tea then. Maybe mummy can teach him now.

Actually it's not a bad idea to put up a meal plan for the week and ask him to mark on it which nights he doesn't want to partake and will be buying and cooking for himself -

Unbelievable. Tell him to cook for himself. He’s not a child.

My DH can be like this. Cooking and meal planning is always down to me.

I always ask at the meal table for suggestions by a certain time/date for the following week. If dh and the kids don't suggest anything I ordered and cook what I want to eat!

We also use Gousto where we pick 1 meal each and no one is allowed to moan at other peoples choices.

He is right about pasta bake TBF
My DP used to be like this so I cooked what I wanted asked if he would like some. If not he got chicken grills.
Think he got bored of chicken grills so he started trying more and now eats most things.

My DP likes plain food and little veg. But he was never brought up to get excited about food or try new things. Both my parents are chefs, so I ate a variety of food a d get excited about food.

DP will eat what’s out in front of him as he hates cooking. I make food he likes a few times a week and other times food I prefer, it’s a compromise. I use the veg he likes to bulk it out. I will have a portion of stemmed veg I like. He likes chips with everything. I use air fryer to do him a portion and add in sweet potatoes for me on the odd occasion I will have chips.

I learned to brand things like chicken stew instead of Moroccan stew with apricots. He would eat it and enjoy it if I made it sound plain and likes it. He is late 40s and is discovering new food that’s normal to me.

This OP.
My DH is similar - he's ND. However so am I.
I'm not his personal chef.
If he doesn't like what I cook, he makes himself something else.

I literally never eaten a pasta bake neither dh but we eat everything else you mention. If your dh doesn't like it.. the kitchen that away and he cooks tomorrow night. He was rude.