We don't like the same food - AIBU?

[Teenagehorrorbag]

DH likes gravy dinners. He likes potatoes and veg, with a piece of meat or fish. A Sunday roast is his favourite. He also likes steak/sausages/gammon and chips once a week or so. (As do I.....)

He will eat anything - and does occasionally eat pasta (preferably lasagne, ideally with chips and peas). Rice is OK with curry, and he does actually like that from time to time. He also enjoys a chinese takeaway. But he's really not keen on any other sort of pasta, stir fries, noodles, etc or anything 'mixed up'. (Though he eats stew, chilli - with chunky beef - and even soup)!

I prefer things like lasagne, spag bol, mince and spuds, corned beef hash, pasta bake, risotto, shepherds pie etc. But do also enjoy gravy dinners from to time, but not 7 nights a week.

My teenage kids eat and enjoy anything, pretty much.

DH never cooks or prepares food - he says he can't (Mummy's boy). Mid 50s - he's not going to change. I hate cooking and meal planning but accepted that was my role when we got together - but never dreamt how fussy he would be.

Today I couldn't think of anything so made a tuna pasta bake. It had onions, peppers and sweetcorn so contained protein, carbs, dairy and veg. He moaned and moaned and stared at it, pushing it round his plate, for ages. The kids loved it and had seconds. He kept saying it was for people who had no teeth and nobody eats food like that. Just so rude - he really pissed me off and I did get quite angry! He had steak pie with spuds and veg and gravy last night, so I don't think I'm unreasonable doing something the rest of us like today. He's not allergic to anything and doesn't hate any of the ingredients as such - just that it's not really his preferred sort of food.

Please tell me most people (including those with penises) do eat pasta bakes, stir fries, and similar. He's convinced I'm weird.......

💯

The op's enabling of this man is unbelievable. If he can manage to wipe his arse and work a job, he can cook.

I make what I want with some negotiation. DH also can’t cook and grow up with boiled potatoes etc for dinner 6 nights a week. I never make them, if he wants them, he can make them.

He’s a sexist dullard who think you were put on this earth to cater to his gravy-centric toddler food whims. If he can read, he can cook.

I cook DH eats.

In nearly 15 years there have been about 2 meals I agreed never to make again. Otherwise his input is limited to washing up.

If yours wants to be fussy he can cook for himself.

In my eyes he is weird for eating so many meals with gravy. I hate the stuff and, thankfully, so does DH.

I always think meals covered in gravy are for people with no teeth as everything goes soggy. Lovely crisp food like yorkshires, roast potatoes etc all made soggy by vile gravy. Plus all the food tastes of the gravy. Yuk

How can you find such a petulant man-child attractive in any way? The foods you have listed you and your kids like are not particularly adventurous foods anyway, so I can’t see how his palate is so limited that he won’t eat pretty standard fare. Very odd.

Not wanting to eat things is absolutely fine (especially as you have said he is autistic). The mixed up food dislike is very common.
However he can learn to cook. My family is full of autistic people. My grandad learnt to cook at 89 after my grandma died. He was autistic and never had before. My autistic son had been cooking since he was 10. It takes him longer than his siblings but he is now a decent cook.

I wouldn't cook or pack lunches for someone who is that ungrateful. I'm sure he's capable of making toast, so won't starve. It's unbelievably rude to moan and push food around a plate in a sulk. My DH is a picky eater so won't eat 95% of the meals I enjoy eating, so we'll cook for ourselves if I fancy eating something I know he doesn't like.

Order the hello fresh meals for a month. Get everyone in the family to choose one and then make it themselves. It comes with instructions!

I always cook as I don't work and enjoy it my DH is just glad to get a meal when he gets in from work!

I do nearly all the cooking. I enjoy trying new recipes and cooking a range of food with lots of variety. There are 5 of us (me and DH and 3 teens), and sometimes there is a meal that someone doesn't like (DS2 isn't keen on some of the veggie options, DH isn't crazy about fish, etc). They are ALL without fail polite and don't moan. If they don't like it much, they have a small portion and eat a piece of toast later on. Your DH is rude and ungrateful.

Tell your DH that either he stops moaning or he takes his turn with the cooking. His choice.

Why are you pandering to this manchild?

Seriously, stop it now.

Unless they actually can’t read well enough to follow a simple recipe, people who say they ‘can’t’ cook, mean they CBA to bother, or to learn how.

if he's not cooking he lumps it. Simple as that. Since you do like some of the same food he won't be "lumping it" every day.

Make sure your DCs know how to cook. Whether you teach them (by making them help you) or sending them to classes.

He sounds like someone living in the 20th century who only likes old people food.

am with everyone else who says warm tuna is the devil's food. We get pizza at work sometimes and there is always tuna. It is - meh. So ... i don't eat it.

If my DH made tuna pasta bake, and i didn't know, I'd just tell him that i don't like that and will make myself something. i won't push it round the plate and act like a twat toddler

It's never too late to learn to cook. I taught my DH in his 40s, and he does half of all cooking now.

The no cooking thing wouldnt bother me if he pulled weight elsewhere.

The having food preferences wouldnt bother me - sometimes DH makes something that isnt to my taste, so il just make myself something on toast,

But to not cook and THEN criticise in such a childish and rude way? Absolutely fucking not. How bloody dare he!

I have no patience for anyone behaving like that.
You eat what is served or you cook something else for yourself if you don't like what's on offer. Or you cook for the family a couple of times a week etc.
You don't get to sit on your arse and moan about the food. It's selfish and entitled behaviour. He seems to think he's the only one living there - everyone's tastes need to be considered if you have a family and that means sometimes eating something you don't particularly like because the others love it.

Wanker.

The only response by a person over the age of 15 to a meal cooked for you by someone else is grovelling gratefulness. If you don’t like it tough luck say nothing and make yourself something else.

A lot of people have sensory needs around food. But if he doesn't like what you make he needs to learn to cook for himself.

A lot of people have sensory needs around food. But if he doesn't like what you make he needs to learn to cook for himself.

He needs to learn to cook

How long have you been together? Why doesn’t he take his turn cooking meals? I hate cooking and am not very good at it (DH is a really good cook) but we are both a part of the home so along with other home stuff, take cooking in turns.

Sounds like you have allowed him to get away with not cooking.

He sounds very rude OP. I'd be raging.

I eat most things but I draw the line at hot tuna ... but I wouldn't be so rude about it.