What's your cautionary tale?

[BrightInMyNorthernSky]

Having just got through the most stressful week ever due to a nightmare situation of my own making, I thought I would share a previous and current cautionary tale.

1. Always remember to change the address on your V5 and not just your license. I didn't. DH got caught speeding twice on the same day on the same stretch of road (33 in a 30) in my car. Both fines went to old address. Didn't answer them, obvs. The whole sorry mess played out without me being aware and by the time it all caught up with me it was had been banned from driving for six months and fined £2k - five months earlier! So had been driving while banned for five months!!!

1. Do not, under any circumstances, break your employment contract by leaving before the end of your notice period even if it does feel like a lifetime. Always try to negotiate with your future employers. I didn't. I've had three incredibly stressful weeks with threats of legal action and the only reason they let me go in the end was because I spent all last weekend, including BH Monday, getting the company out of a very tricky situation.

So please share your cautionary tales so I don't feel like such a screw up!!

Sorry to hear this OP! A very similar thing happened to a relative of mine - it’s horrible and very stressful! Pleased to hear you got it all sorted now though - well done!

Don't marry an arsehole expecting he will change. If he's a selfish arse he will remain so and will always be a shit husband and father.

My DH was driving around without tax for a couple of months. We both now pay monthly so it can’t expire without us realising again 😂

How come you left before the end of your notice period? I’m sorry it led to so much stress though .

Omg I love this thread. Never forgive a cheater - they will ALWAYS cheat again and if they left you because you're the OW they will cheat on you. I believe this to be very true having worked in domestic abuse for many, many years.

If you're a runner, don't run behind a combine harvester going down a narrow country lane, because it might clip a wasps' nest, leaving you (and the dog) COVERED in really cross wasps.

Ask me how I know...

Your lawyer isn't on your side. Your lawyer wants what makes them look best.

@Pariswhenitdrizzles - basically, I did that classic thing of not checking my contract and very confidently told new employer I was definitely on a four week notice. I wasn't, it was three months. But instead of admitting to my mistake (which would have been infinitely easier) I tried to negotiate an early exit which my line manager agreed to but HR didn't. And HR wouldn't budge. 100% my fault.

When you are engaging someone new - whether an employee or someone for your home like a cleaner - if ANYTHING in their references gives you pause for thought, trust your gut instinct and don't employ them.

If someone has a trial period, if the trial is anything less than perfect, that's a failed trial and you should look elsewhere. It's a time people are making a big effort so don't think you can correct it or sort it later. You can't.

Always read cautionary tale threads on MN, thanks to them you will remember to tax your car...

Try being yourself when you meet someone so they don't fall in love with your 'mask' as opposed to the real you.

Always suggest your young teens to wear a bra - I managed to gove myself stretch marks at 14!

If your prospective employer seems weird at interview, run .

1. Never get married. Live with someone if you want but get proper advice on protecting your property first. So many people don’t look into the legal implications of marriage till it bites them on the arse at the end of it.
2. If you don’t entirely believe your doctor is right get a second opinion. Could have saved me years of pain, disability and perhaps my cancer having progressed to stage 4.
3. Join a union. RCN protected me when my employer turned out to have no integrity.
4. Don’t let a man persuade you he knows best. So many things I went along with against my better judgement which turned to shit.

Never get married. Live with someone if you want but get proper advice on protecting your property first. So many people don’t look into the legal implications of marriage till it bites them on the arse at the end of it.

This is nonsense if you have children or are the financially weaker party. It should say 'Never get married if you have no children, no intention to have children and have considerably more financial assets than your partner'.

Children or financially weaker person should always get married. Always.

Sounds like a case of HR wagging the business dog. If your line manager was happy that should have been sufficient.

The easy option, comes at a price.

I echo this and will add don't have unprotected sex if you don't want to get pregnant

When you are on the M1, slow down to 50mph by the time you enter the 50mph zone, and don't speed up until you have left it.

Don't assume your teenager is as focussed on their GCSEs as you think they are just because they haven't said they are not and you hope all is well. By the time the teachers tell you they have car crashed their mocks there is very little time to recover. I definitely took my eye off the ball there....

Bear in mind that spirits in the US are served as doubles by default and the measures are fucking huge. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Stretch marks are not caused by not wearing a bra. Many/most 14 year olds will get them , perfectly normal .

Never, ever mistake a tube of haemorrhoid cream for a tube of Deep Heat cream.

Get a spare front door key cut and hide it somewhere safe outside.

Locksmiths charge a fortune to come out to your home to break you in.

Never Get personal loans to pay for something for your partner/spouse. If they can’t get it, there’s a reason. Don’t get into debt for them. No exclusions.

Check your credit card statements regularly. My balance was a bit higher than I thought but instead of going back through the statements, I figured I'd just lost track and did a 0% balance transfer for the whole amount.

It wasn't until a hotel charged me for a room I'd cancelled within the free cancellation period, that I happened to trawl back through the transactions and saw a £2,700 charge, 3 months previously, for a trip to Euro Disney.

I have never been to Euro Disney. 🤦‍♀️

It was a fraudulent transaction and Barclaycard were kind enough to credit the amount back to me, despite my lack of observation skills, but I was of course still paying the balance on the new card...can't transfer a positive balance. What an absolute twat.

Never pool all your money in a joint account if you are the higher earner, no matter how "trustworthy" you think your spouse is. Also never, ever give them a credit card in your name.