What's your cautionary tale?

[BrightInMyNorthernSky]

Having just got through the most stressful week ever due to a nightmare situation of my own making, I thought I would share a previous and current cautionary tale.

1. Always remember to change the address on your V5 and not just your license. I didn't. DH got caught speeding twice on the same day on the same stretch of road (33 in a 30) in my car. Both fines went to old address. Didn't answer them, obvs. The whole sorry mess played out without me being aware and by the time it all caught up with me it was had been banned from driving for six months and fined £2k - five months earlier! So had been driving while banned for five months!!!

Seems to be your issue isn’t the fact that you forgot to change your address, it’s that you have a reckless and idiotic DH that doesn’t care for anyone else’s life or he’d not have been speeding.

BTW he’s lied about it being 33 in a 30. There’s a 10% tolerance. He’ll have been doing much more than 33 - and twice in one day too!

If you log in to google on a new device it will send a notification to your phone asking if it is you (for instance when I set up emails on my new tablet). Ds just hit yes to a notification without reading it and was hacked and had money taken from his bank account. Because he had “approved” it then the bank didn’t have to refund the money taken fraudulently.

Every new year check the expiry dates on all your passports. Many a Mumsnet thread over the years where the family are meant to be travelling the following week and little Timmy's is out of date.

Don’t write anything on the work WhatsApp that you wouldn’t want HR or management to read.
We had a group for the staff in our team, no management, just a mates at work group. It was just pictures of dogs/kids, and to let people know if there was a change and they needed to know quick. Unfortunately someone in that trusted group showed something I wrote to a manager, and I got told off. I honestly thought it was a private, mates having a laugh group, but not so.

The 10% tolerance is a myth. You can easily check that. My friend got a ticket for 32mph in a 30 zone.

Don't let yourself slide into a sexless marriage if your reasons are at the 'can't really be bothered, would prefer a cup of tea' end of the spectrum (unless your partner is genuinely on board with this). It takes effort to keep the fires burning and even the nicest of partners can have their heads turned after years of having their self esteem ground down by constant rejection.

If someone offers you a job, and you think they must be mad because clearly you are not worthy or capable, take the job.

My last grandparent died when I was 19. Two before I was born...

Not having grandparents in the work environment, I was completely oblivious about why they would be an advantage in the work environment until this thread!

HR departments see it as being their job to protect management. If you have a serious dispute with your manager, they’ll try to discredit you rather than addressing the issue.

I learnt this the hard way but hated the job l was in so much l would have taken anything.
Talk about out of the frying pan, into the fire. The new boss was an absolute bully and his wife called up one morning to say he wouldn't in because he had beaten her up and was in police custody.
Last l heard, he was serving time. Awful man, l totally ignored my gut feeling. Never again

This is the best thread of all time. And I've been here for nearly 20 years.

Then you may be the exception that proves the rule
In all seriousness I’m glad it worked out well for you. It never has for me - lol

And when draining your chicken stock, do not absent-mindedly put the colander over the sink instead of over a clean saucepan! 😩

I work in HR. This is exceptional advice.

There is an HR saying "dance like no-one is watching, email like it will be read out at tribunal".

This! I am just about to resign from a job because I took it and ignore the red flag of a senior manager being a miserable sod in the interview. Turns out he’s a nasty bully and everyone in the team is in fear of him. Doesn’t make for a cheerful and productive working environment. Lesson learned.

I didn't get it!! But not had my morning coffee yet lol!!

You win.

Be careful not to fall in to the counter transference trap when seeing a therapist. If you’re a people pleaser, you will want the therapist to like you and you may be tempted to present a version of yourself that is more palatable. This is especially true if you’ve been seeing them for a while as you will inevitably bond with someone you have been sharing your feelings with.
Likewise, don’t take everything they say as absolute gospel. I had a therapist that made a snap judgement on a friend that was treating me badly and all I wanted was some advice on how to handle it but instead, she started slagging off my friend to me. I think she really liked me and felt a little protective over me - not good in a therapist/patient scenario

They certainly can do something about it - i have my own business and someone did it to me - waited until they had been paid in the morning and then didn't turn up to work. They were a receptionist and so i had to get emergency temp cover. I took her to small claims for the extra cost of the temp and also the unearned holiday that she had taken. I won and she had to pay.

It was 'only' about £400, but it was the principle. If she had discussed it with me and given me only a few days notice so i could sort myself out, i would have let her go.

@Justcallmebebes

Think about it!

You obviously missed my second post yesterday evening when I twigged .

Can you tell me more about "don't discuss your finances with anyone"? What sort of finances? Weekly spending money or mortgages and investments are so on?

Don't put your contact lenses in right after you've used alcohol hand sanitiser.

Don't empty your moon cup not long after you've been making chilli sauce with your home grown Trinidad Scorpions. It doesn't actually matter that you've washed your hands!

Definitely don't casually remark "I don't know why they still teach this when Google Translate is a thing." when helping your child with their French homework. They will repeat it to the teacher and then you will get a phone call asking why your child is being so disrespectful in class. To be fair to me, I suck at learning foreign languages.

Also, when your preschool age child has been given atropene eye drops for a detailed eye exam at the local hospital don't look at the leftover medication that evening and wonder what it actually feels like. It feels stingy and then you can't focus on anything for hours.

Always keep enough cash to buy a weeks groceries and a tank of petrol.

@WhenTheMoonShines I've paid a ticket for doing 33 in a 30...? I did one the same place the week before (it's on a hill so you've sped up to get to the top and I just got my automatic). I still had to do the safer drivers course and pay the next fine... They have to draw the line somewhere and I thought it was 30/31/32 they allowed for?

Where is a good place to hide it @calimali