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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What's your cautionary tale?

1000 replies

BrightInMyNorthernSky · 02/06/2024 16:42

Having just got through the most stressful week ever due to a nightmare situation of my own making, I thought I would share a previous and current cautionary tale.

  1. Always remember to change the address on your V5 and not just your license. I didn't. DH got caught speeding twice on the same day on the same stretch of road (33 in a 30) in my car. Both fines went to old address. Didn't answer them, obvs. The whole sorry mess played out without me being aware and by the time it all caught up with me it was had been banned from driving for six months and fined £2k - five months earlier! So had been driving while banned for five months!!!
OP posts:
CandidHedgehog · 07/06/2024 22:17

asdfgasdfg · 07/06/2024 21:02

I change all my batteries on July 1st. Smoke detectors, carbon monoxide detectors and catflap. Then I don't get woken at 2am when they need changing. PS why is always 2am?

Because temperature affects them and it’s colder at night.

Pudmyboy · 07/06/2024 23:01

Washingupdone · 07/06/2024 14:27

Always take a photo from the parking point and every time you change direction. Otherwise download Waze and register your location. Easy.

Good advice these days, my event occurred in the early '90s, would have had to take a Polaroid in those days!

bottleofbeer · 07/06/2024 23:35

The NHS will fuck you over. They will bleed you dry, let you burn out then put you on 'supportive' sickness stages when you mentally and physically collapse.

You will not progress unless management have earmarked you. It's decided in advance who gets the jobs. Interviews are a token gesture of going through the motions.

Or, kiss arse. You might be OK.

Washingupdone · 07/06/2024 23:57

Pudmyboy · 07/06/2024 23:01

Good advice these days, my event occurred in the early '90s, would have had to take a Polaroid in those days!

Oh, yes, I remember those days

MaidOfBondStreet · 08/06/2024 08:22

ThoseBlueRememberedHills · 05/06/2024 11:18

Don't spend an absolute fortune on various treatments and supplements for your soft splitty nails before trying adding Boron to your diet.

Get a pack of 20 mule train borax which is the 'as mined' powder straight out of the ground and an element missing in our modern diets as the soil is depleted. You need only a tiny bit each day. Say you lick the end of a biro and dip it in and then put that amount in your coffee. Literally about 200 grains a day.

Within four months you will be able to use your nails to cut steel pipe !

Yes it is advertised for washing clothes but that is because it is so alkaline. It works. It's cheap. One pack will last you a million lifetimes so share it around all your splitty nailed friends.

Unfortunately Borax is banned in the UK

ThoseBlueRememberedHills · 08/06/2024 08:41

MaidOfBondStreet · 08/06/2024 08:22

Unfortunately Borax is banned in the UK

Available on Ebay. 20 Mule Team 100g will last you a lifetime.

Abeona · 08/06/2024 09:33

ThoseBlueRememberedHills · 08/06/2024 08:41

Available on Ebay. 20 Mule Team 100g will last you a lifetime.

Not available on Amazon UK. Only offering Borax substitute.

JudgeJ · 08/06/2024 19:32

Pudmyboy · 07/06/2024 11:45

Similarly with car parks in an unfamiliar location: on a first visit to Warwick Castle we spent a pleasant afternoon there, then, once tired and just wanting to get home, spent a very frustrating hour going between 3 different multistorey car parks as we couldn't remember a)which one and b) which floor!

Happened to us at the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta, you arrive in the dark at about 4.30am to be there for the Dawn Ascent but returning to the car late morning can be a challenge! A lovely man in a tram car drove us, and a few others, round the vast area to find our cars! That, by the way, is a totally amazing event to see!

Theredoubtableskins · 08/06/2024 19:43

@MaidOfBondStreet

Borax is banned for use as a food additive in the UK. That’s all. Borax itself is not banned and you can buy it. I’m a jeweller and I use it when working. It isn’t banned.

Theredoubtableskins · 08/06/2024 19:43

@Abeona
You’ve literally quoted her post saying “eBay” and then replied saying it isn’t available on amazing. I’m confused. Is eBay the same as Amazon now?

Elliebeli · 08/06/2024 21:22

MaidOfBondStreet · 03/06/2024 17:07

So, I own my own house out right and have 2 adult children. My partner has no children and lives with me. Are you saying I definitely shouldn't get married? Can't I just have in my will that my house goes to my children? Can he over rule this if we are married?

Please advise me as we were planning on getting married at Christmas 😣

Absolutely do not get married. If you divorce, he gets to claim a share of what you have. If you die and he is living in your house, he may well be able to get a claim in that as well despite your will leaving it to your children- he can at least contest it and cause a lot of agro.

a close female lawyer friend of mine who has been burnt in the past always says, unless the man has more than you, don’t get married. I am a firm believer in the institution of marriage. However, my children stand to get a large financial leg up in life from me and my message to them is, don’t get married unless the man can bring an equal share to the table.

SinnerBoy · 08/06/2024 21:31

ShinyAppleDreamingOfTheSea · Yesterday 18:09

I always take various photos of surrounding area (or street name / floor number ) when parking somewhere unfamiliar now.

I've posted about this before, some friends were in Germany and went to some event and parked their car, noting the street name. Later on, they couldn't find it and asked some Police, telling them that they'd parked on Eingangstrasse....

Eingangstrasse is "One Way Street." The cops did help them find it!

WearyAuldWumman · 09/06/2024 00:08

If you live in Scotland and your husband has children from a previous relationship, be careful. Under Scots law, children are entitled to a third of your moveable estate, no matter what's in the will.

I was alerted to this by the female bank manager at my branch when I went in to change my details to my married name. My husband (genuinely not knowing about the inheritance laws here) had suggested that we open a joint account.

I was a good bit younger than my husband and became the breadwinner. I had moved some of my savings into an ISA in my husband's name. Had we not been alerted to the problem, I would have lost a chunk of my life's savings when my husband died. Cars are included as part of the moveable estate and would have to be valued, along with any jewellery etc, so the jewellery that I bought him became part of his moveable estate.

When my husband realised that cars were included, he insisted that the car be put in my name. We were married 27 years and illness meant that I was my husband's carer for half that time.

He had a reasonably good relationship with his children, but there was no help when he became ill. We gave them financial help (as did their mother) in spite of the fact that they earned more than us. My husband's income consisted of his state pension, a small works pension and his Attendance Allowance. At the point when I retired, my wage was 40k a year.

My house was only in my name - I bought it before we married and I paid off the mortgage myself.

His children got a bit more than one third of his moveable estate in the end and I gave his grandchild the money that I was asked to pass on (plus a bit extra). I also gave them a couple of money gifts in my husband's name.

Had we not been aware of the situation, I would have been left in dire financial straits when my husband died - I could not have afforded to lose my savings.

sashh · 09/06/2024 04:50

asdfgasdfg · 07/06/2024 21:02

I change all my batteries on July 1st. Smoke detectors, carbon monoxide detectors and catflap. Then I don't get woken at 2am when they need changing. PS why is always 2am?

Mine are all wired in to the mains and linked. They are very sensitive. When I get out of the bath I have to get out of the bathroom and close the door quickly otherwise the alarms in the kitchen, living room and hall all go off.

My bathroom doesn't have a window.

Sorry, not a cautionary tale, just random musings.

Not a cautionary tale but a bit of advice.

If you are using a private hospital without insurance negotiate the price. The hospitals have a price list, and then there is the price they will accept.

Eg a hip replacement may be priced at £10 000 on the hospital website. If you are insured your insurance company will have an amount that they will pay. So BUPA might pay £8900 and PPP may pay £9100 etc. Because most of the hospital's income comes from the insurance companies they swallow the difference.

nordicwannabe · 09/06/2024 07:51

ThoseBlueRememberedHills · 08/06/2024 08:41

Available on Ebay. 20 Mule Team 100g will last you a lifetime.

Borax is banned as a food supplement in both the UK and the US because it's dangerous to ingest. It can cause poisoning, organ failure, reproductive problems, damage a developing baby, and even cause death.

Don't eat it.

Instead just add more lentils to your diet. They contain loads of great nutrients - including safe amounts of Boron - and are cheap and delicious. You can easily add them to anything you make with beef mince (spag bol, shepherds pie, meatballs, chilli) or any stew or soup, or make them with a dressing in a salad, or make a lentil curry (with or without other veg).

RosesAndHellebores · 09/06/2024 07:53

@sash can you link to the wired cat flap please?

sashh · 09/06/2024 09:14

RosesAndHellebores · 09/06/2024 07:53

@sash can you link to the wired cat flap please?

LOL. Sorry I don't have a cat flap, I meant the smoke / fire alarms. I should have been clearer, but someone needs to invent this now.

ThoseBlueRememberedHills · 09/06/2024 10:32

nordicwannabe · 09/06/2024 07:51

Borax is banned as a food supplement in both the UK and the US because it's dangerous to ingest. It can cause poisoning, organ failure, reproductive problems, damage a developing baby, and even cause death.

Don't eat it.

Instead just add more lentils to your diet. They contain loads of great nutrients - including safe amounts of Boron - and are cheap and delicious. You can easily add them to anything you make with beef mince (spag bol, shepherds pie, meatballs, chilli) or any stew or soup, or make them with a dressing in a salad, or make a lentil curry (with or without other veg).

I'm not talking about taking a toxic dose. I talking about taking enough to replace what is missing from our diets due to the depleted soil.

Everything you eat has a toxic dose, including water.

asdfgasdfg · 09/06/2024 11:03

My smoke alarms are wired in but have a battery backup.

Orangello · 09/06/2024 11:06

I have a microchip reading wired cat flap with battery back up. PetSafe Petporte.

KikiShaLeeBopDeBopBop · 09/06/2024 11:12

ThoseBlueRememberedHills · 09/06/2024 10:32

I'm not talking about taking a toxic dose. I talking about taking enough to replace what is missing from our diets due to the depleted soil.

Everything you eat has a toxic dose, including water.

That is patently incorrect & highly dangerous misinformation

BulldogMumma · 09/06/2024 11:23

Always get a spare car key cut

RosesAndHellebores · 09/06/2024 12:03

BulldogMumma · 09/06/2024 11:23

Always get a spare car key cut

And Timpsons can do a non remote one for about £50/£60 rather than the £300/£400 the dealer will charge fkr a remote copy.

TooPreciousToDoIt · 09/06/2024 16:59

Timpsons can do a non remote one for about £50/£60

They quoted us £75 a couple of weeks ago for teen. They are ‘thinking about it’ 🙄

Woodworm2020 · 09/06/2024 18:02

Always check trustpilot before being tempted to buy something endorsed or advertised on social media. I wish I had done this as it would have taught me that it was definitely too good to be true!

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