To dislike it when men post on mumsnet?

[N225NNW]

I find it annoying. Why can’t they use their own men’s websites? Of which there are many!

*Note I put a thread up like this last night. Then went to bed. When I woke up this morning, it had been deleted by MN. Not sure what went on there..

N225NNW · Yesterday 07:52

‘AIBU To dislike it when men post on mumsnet?

I find it annoying. Why can’t they use their own men’s websites? Of which there are many!’

BAN THE BASTARDS! Oh actually I didn’t say that at all did I? It would have been silly to do that wouldn’t it.

I was simply posting an AIBU in the spirit of AIBU. A question. To which people can post their answers / opinions. These will differ. That is life. It is interesting. Well it is until people make erroneous assumptions and conclusions. And go off on one with bizarre and incorrect comparisons. Still that is also part of the rich tapestry of life. I’m happy to see others’ views.

People have different views. Frankly I’m sick of men popping up where many women don’t want them. Some people think IABU. And clearly, some think IANBU.

I don’t know any men that would want to post here, but obv some do. Cat litter talks go for it.

I don’t know any men that think going into women’s and children’s changing areas and toilets, is ok. Tfft.

exactly.

Me, too. I am taken aback at how irritated I am when men post. It seems unreasonable of me but I find it annoying. Men have so much of their own space I want to say ‘sod off and leave us alone’

I agree with you 💯.

Brace yourself for incoming missiles 😂❤️

That isn’t what the OP is saying. She says she finds it annoying.

Problem is though, when a group of women are discussing men being 'bad' and society being sexist, you can guarantee there will be women amongst the number for whom that's not just a general discussion, and who have had a bad experience and are looking for support. Women's experiences of this are so common its incredibly difficult to have a conversation that doesn't touch on one's personal experiences, in a way that is typically not the case for the men just here for the debate.
Now you could of course just double down on that, and say, well, if those women are that sensitive they need to stay off the thread themselves as its not up to me as a man to self censor to make them comfortable. And you'd be within your rights. But I would argue that that wouldn't be the response of a decent man. It wouldn't be the response of the men I think are good, or the male posters on here who get it.

There are some vomit-inducing stick-up-your-arse replies on here:
Men are parents too
parents are women AND men
or…
last time I checked it takes a woman and a man… - maybe that passes for wit in their lives.

And they miss the point that the OP is only saying she finds it annoying.

if a man replies on MN and I reply ‘ Fuck off. You’re a man. We don’t want to know what you think’ will it be deleted ? 🤣

“Their own men’s websites”

The internet isn’t gendered. It’s a largely anonymous place. What the hell is a men’s website, or a women’s website ?

Thank you! I have just added another post. I am going to get some serious flak I think. 🤣

Yet women want to go into men only clubs, is that ok?

Our social club was set up after WW2 for men to meet, play snooker and drink tea, should that have been allowed to stay as a "females not wanted" space?

I'm sure, even now, plenty of men find it "annoying" too.

Yours is just another case of wanting equality but only the bits you like.

My brother's wife died, he bought up his DD, one day he went into Mothercare to use their nappy changing facilities, he was told to fuck off, was that you OP?

We all raised a glass when MC collapsed.

He once told me "i never realised how much of womens world raising a child is in the UK"
A swedish friend of his said to him "i feel sorry for you, not just because of your wife's death but because you re a man bring up a child in the UK"

My brother's wife died, he bought up his DD, one day he went into Mothercare to use their nappy changing facilities, he was told to fuck off, was that you OP?

We all raised a glass when MC collapsed.

A Mothercare member of staff told him to fuck off? And did you ask think that that was Mothercare's policy?

I'm sorry that he was treated that way. It's inexcusable. But I'm not sure why you raised a glad to its collapse. I don't think any company would encourage (or countenance) their staff telling anyone to fuck off.

I think men only clubs are fine tbh. We all need a rest from the opposite sex sometimes 😊

Jesus. Men have opinions too. Men are parents too.

Some of these posts!

It takes a woman AND a man to make a child

Those batshit threads where there's a witch hunt based on the suspicion that a poster may be a man are hilarious.

I've never seen a thread like that. I've seen the odd post from someone making deeply misogynist/MRA style comments (typically peppered with cry laughing emojis when there's nothing remotely funny) followed by "Are you a man?" "A man?!?? What makes you think I'm a man??? (Tell me how I gave myself away) I'm a happily married middle aged housewife and mother of ten from the home counties who just happens to use more emojis than words, and thinks comments about rape should have a lol after them"
Are those the ones you mean?

@5128gap ,

‘Problem is though, when a group of women are discussing men being 'bad' and society being sexist, you can guarantee there will be women amongst the number for whom that's not just a general discussion, and who have had a bad experience and are looking for support. Women's experiences of this are so common its incredibly difficult to have a conversation that doesn't touch on one's personal experiences, in a way that is typically not the case for the men just here for the debate.
Now you could of course just double down on that, and say, well, if those women are that sensitive they need to stay off the thread themselves as its not up to me as a man to self censor to make them comfortable. And you'd be within your rights. But I would argue that that wouldn't be the response of a decent man. It wouldn't be the response of the men I think are good, or the male posters on here who get it.’

Well I am afraid I would disagree with you (I think ‘double down’ is silly and emotive language, we aren’t playing poker). Again ‘get it’ is the language of echo chambers; you either ‘get it’ (whatever ‘it’ means) and you are a good guy or you don’t, in which case your opinion is unwanted. This is the language of identity politics, which is very destructive.

I totally disagree with this type of thought process. MN is an adult discussion forum and, if you choose to join a discussion (not a support thread, but a general discussion, as I specified previously), you need to be prepared to hear views which dissent from your own, from both women and men. You are not compelled to read any post or join any discussion.

There are some posters here who believe that men are the enemy and, worse, women who disagree with them are handmaidens, as opposed to independent intelligent women who disagree with them.

‘There are some posters here who believe that men are the enemy’

Are there? Which posters believe that?

(I think ‘double down’ is silly and emotive language, we aren’t playing poker).

It's extremely common slang, both here and abroad, for "hardening your stance when challenged on it".

Again ‘get it’ is the language of echo chambers; you either ‘get it’ (whatever ‘it’ means) and you are a good guy or you don’t, in which case your opinion is unwanted.

It's extremely common slang, both here and abroad, for "understand fully".

This is the language of identity politics, which is very destructive.

Oh for heaven's sake!

I've seen a rare few...but tbh, they have usually been raped, assaulted and/or horribly abused by numerous men. Anyone who thinks the real problem is that they haven't shed their trauma for the benefit of male posters really has no place commenting on it at all.

@N225NNW ,

Plenty!

If you don’t believe that, why wouldn’t you welcome their contributions on a parenting site?

Obviously ‘the enemy’ is a vague phrase and there is a lot of nuance within it, but plenty of members of this site don’t like men much. They always except their husband, children and relatives, but it is like antisemites (I am Jewish) always having ‘Jewish best friends’.

👋👋👋manny man man here

@NonPlayerCharacter ,

All this ‘extremely common’ slang is extremely common since the internet became a thing and people lined up in echo chambers. It is lazy and divisive language, trying to stifle proper debate.

Go back a few years and you just won’t see it in common usage in a sensible debate forum.

As pompous a post as it is inaccurate and unintentionally amusing.

Slang evolves and it's not intellectually dishonest to use it to describe things like hardening a stance and failing comprehension. Attempting to deflect and invalidate common language, however...

@NonPlayerCharacter ,

You’re just doubling down on your last dogmatic post; you really don’t get how a discussion forum works….