Instrumental teacher refusing to teach my child

[MairSS]

I just cannot believe the email I’ve just received from my child’s instrumental teacher!
DS has been receiving instrumental lessons at school for a couple of terms. The music teacher is freelance and therefore parents pay fees directly to her.
We pay up front each half term. She invoices us. I had overpaid by one lesson last time, and she had not realised this. I therefore sent her a message telling her to check her account. She immediately did and apologised saying she had not realised and adjusted the invoice accordingly. I wrote another message saying that in fact I always pay on time and didn’t appreciate getting messages saying I hadn’t paid when I had.
She then said on reflection it may be better if I found an alternative teacher as she doesn’t tolerate rudeness and reattached her terms and conditions!
surely she can’t do this? How unprofessional! I’ll be making an appointment to see the headteacher on Monday!

I pay for lessons and I expect them to be delivered!

Yeah but she’s entitled to refuse your money and not deliver your child lessons, because she’s not an indentured servant.

One of my friends is a music teacher and considering quitting because of the increase in parents like you.

I like the sound of that teacher. She seems very fuck around and find out. And you've fucked around and found out 🤣

Have you even apologised for your rudeness?

Take this as a life lesson that your reactions are OTT and not always proportionate to the situation. Your son will now miss out on music lessons because of you, no one else.

Example 1 - the snotty message you sent to the music teacher.
Example 2 - saying you would demand to speak to the head.
Example 3 - refusing the refund.

When something annoys or upsets you take a deep breath. Perhaps vent to your partner or a friend, then respond calmly later.
I say this as someone who can be quick tempered and unfortunately smart phones mean it is all too easy to send that WhatsApp message or email in the heat of the moment!

Music teacher out there singing this song right now!

Bing Videos

So you accept you were rude - what behaviour will you now model for DS?

Well if I wasn't already on the teacher's side I would be now!

What an attitude you have.

Music teacher here. The amount of crap I've dealt with from parents over the years when self employed could fill a book and is why I don't teach much outside of a Paye school I have now.
You were rude. Maybe she was a little hasty back but if it's the 10th time that week she's dealt with aggy parents and she's had to continuously chase money she's owed alongside that (all unpaid admin time of course) then I don't blame her at all.
If you want to repair the relationship email back once apologising that your tone was a bit rude in the last email, your child really enjoys their lessons and you would like to start afresh. Fgs don't go to the headteacher, who won't be able to do anything about it anyway if she's freelance!

I don’t want to find a different teacher, my son likes her and it’s very convenient for him to have lessons at school with a couple of others from his class. Private lessons will cost about 3 x the price I’m paying and he doesn’t want one to one lessons, he’s too young.
I’ve messaged her and she had agreed to see him Tuesday instead of refunding me.
I’ll see if she changes her mind

Can you not see that your behaviour will have a negative impact on your child? To deliberately send your child for his lesson after she has told you she won't be teaching him is horrible. Maybe get over yourself and think how that will make him feel. If I was the music teacher and you refused to give your details I would ask the Head to pop an envelope with a cheque or cash in your child's book bag. You really couldn't be more unreasonable if you tried.
I really feel for your poor child. I cant imagine this will be the last opportunity he will miss out on due to your poor behaviour.

' Why can’t she just move on and continue to do her job which we pay for??? '

oh wow ! what an attitude you have

give the violin back, accept and realise YOU have messed up

and as a result it is YOUR CHILD that is now missing out

hey ho, I suspect he will get used to that...

OP, you are being ridiculous. Your only option here is to grovel.

Apologise for being rude, explain you were stressed , you wouldn’t want your child to suffer for your mistake, and hope that she is more forgiving than you!!

It’s either this or find a new teacher..

In my experience peripatetic music teachers often like their pupils to take part in concerts at the end of the school year, possibly in a school assembly . It’s a great opportunity for the kids to get the experience of playing for an audience and showing what they have learned, and lovely for parents if they are prewarned and can attend to watch. But for your son any such little concert would just be the sad experience of watching his peers enjoying the applause.

And did you actually, you know, fucking apologise?

Have you apologised?

Anyone else praying that the violin teacher doesn't change her mind?

You sound very entitled.

Money can't buy respect.

OP, have you apologised for your snarky email?

I think you should swallow your pride and apologise in the hope that you can rectify this for your child. Include in the apology that your child loves the lessons and you don't want him to be punished for your actions, it might resonate with the teacher.

I can’t wait to see how that works out when you use your “charms” on her 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Looks like the music teacher is a far better person than you OP.

Sadly for your son, there's a lot of people hoping she doesn't change her mind because the only way people like you will learn is the hard way.

Well that is kind of her, though I wouldn’t hold out much hope of him having a lesson the following week. She probably has a waiting list and will be passing the violin along.

You really are cutting your child’s nose off to spite his teacher aren’t you?

Never ceases to amaze me how rude some people can be and for them not to realise when in a hole to stop digging but along another one comes!

You sent a second email - what it should have said was "thank you so much for quickly getting back to me about the overpayment, pleased it is all sorted, juniorMairSS so enjoys his lessons and wil look forward to seeing you at his next lesson" instead you had to send an email which not surprisingly caused a problem.

The only person who is causing your son problems with his violin lessons is you with the way you are treating his teacher.

Good you seem to have sorted it, I would be buying the teacher a small gift to say sorry.

People don't have to do what you want just because you are paying. Your child is missing out because of your attitude. Either grovel to her so she might continue teaching your child. Or find another teacher and be polite to them.

Did you apologise?