Instrumental teacher refusing to teach my child

[MairSS]

I just cannot believe the email I’ve just received from my child’s instrumental teacher!
DS has been receiving instrumental lessons at school for a couple of terms. The music teacher is freelance and therefore parents pay fees directly to her.
We pay up front each half term. She invoices us. I had overpaid by one lesson last time, and she had not realised this. I therefore sent her a message telling her to check her account. She immediately did and apologised saying she had not realised and adjusted the invoice accordingly. I wrote another message saying that in fact I always pay on time and didn’t appreciate getting messages saying I hadn’t paid when I had.
She then said on reflection it may be better if I found an alternative teacher as she doesn’t tolerate rudeness and reattached her terms and conditions!
surely she can’t do this? How unprofessional! I’ll be making an appointment to see the headteacher on Monday!

So you're trying to beat the AIBU all-time high score then.

Please don't do that. It will be very embarrassing and upsetting for your son when the teacher tells him that he is no longer having lessons. That needs to come from you, at home, rather than at school.

All that will happen then is that your six year old will end up in the middle of this. With you telling him he has a lesson and the teacher saying " no I told your mum this already" then taking the violin back.

Your next complaint on Tuesday will be that she made your ds cry.

Bottom line is that this whole scenario should have ended with her apologising and adjusting the invoice...the rest is of your making.

Please don't put a six year old in the middle of this.

This is one of the best I’ve heard in years!

#”that”parent

Yes you were and rude people should really apologise, shouldn’t they?

In terms of your batshit plan:

1. You are setting up your child to have a shit day on Tuesday because she will tell them they are not having a lesson and just remove the violin
2. She will probably give him a note to give to you asking for your bank details to return the money - I can’t see her giving a young child cash

So your kid will come home without a violin, without having had a lesson and not understanding why - so will probably think it is something that THEY have done. That’s very cowardly and actually conniving of you - expecting the teacher to capitulate because THEY don’t want to disappoint your child.

Be a fucking grown up and APOLOGISE! You are making stuff unnecessarily horrible for your child because you’re so arrogant you think the world should bend to accommodate you despite the fact you are ill mannered and entitled.

OK, then what? Because your best case scenario there is that she gives him one last lesson and collects her violin from him and then is done with you. Is that what you want? And, obviously, the head teacher is just facilitating the lessons, so no help there.

If you actually want your son to continue having lessons, your best bet would be to apologise profusely.

Why can’t she just move on and continue to do her job which we pay for???

@MairSS because you don't own her

She can send you a cheque via guaranteed delivery, oh foolish one.

Nah. This has to be a wind-up.

Mind you, I’ve not had this much fun since the time a parent complained that no one in my secondary school dept was prepared to give her child extra lessons over the Easter holidays. 🤣

Because it is her right as a self employed person to choose not to deal with people who are rude arseholes to her.

This is glorious. Surely this woman can't be the first person to have pulled you up on this attitude in life, @MairSS ? I suspect that as your child is young, maybe this is the first time your rudeness has had consequences for other people.

You obviously cannot force her to teach your child, but if you are hoping for the lessons to continue, I sincerely hope that you have resisted the overwhelming temptation to send her yet another rude email, and have instead been composing an apology for coming across as rude in your email.

Not an apology IF you came across as rude, but for HAVING come across as rude. It was not your intention. You hope that you can please put this behind you, and continue with little Frederick's lessons.

Don’t just send your child in, that’s not fair on him or the teacher.

instead of being argumentative why not send an email apologising and kindly asking if this can be put behind you so your son can continue with the lessons?

And if they find out about her from this teacher they won't want her custom either.

True! Just can't understand why the OP is so determined to stick with this particular tutor.

Your poor kid is going to be sent in for a lesson they don't have, get their violin taken off then unexpectedly, and it is entirely your fault. Every possible step of the way you have made things worse when you could very easily have made them better.

From everything you've said here, I think it serves you right. Feel a bit sorry for your kid though.

🤣
Are you really this entitled?!
Your reply to her message was totally unnecessary and extremely rude. Own it

I'm self employed and accept some referrals from an agency. For the first time ever I experienced aggressive and rude behaviour from a client this week. I've refused to continue working with her. The agency is fully supportive of my decision and she's been told she'll be allocated to someone else. If you're self employed you don't have to put up with rudeness.

My goodness what a terrible role model you are for your child. You are only going to humiliate your 6 year old if you do what you are threatening. You need to take a step back, apologise and move on and find a private violin teacher. You also need to calm your entitled and demanding attitude and behaviour.

With much experience in this field, you are coming across as the nightmare parent. No freelancer, usually with a waiting list, will want to touch you with a bargepole. Do you treat the school staff the same?

Sending your child in expecting a lesson is batshit to the teacher and unkind to your son. Try to be an adult here.

If I was the teacher, I would give a cash refund, and ask the secretary or class teacher to pass it on, not via the child. All signed for and witnessed, so your petulant behaviour did not affect them.

'I wrote another message saying that in fact I always pay on time and didn’t appreciate getting messages saying I hadn’t paid when I had. '

The woman made a mistake and apologised and immediately rectified the mistake but you had to give her a hoity toity poke!

You are the rude one.

She's probably imagining how you will behave at exam time!

Hopefully she'll give your child the one lesson she owes and than take the violin back. She will no longer need your bank details then. 😂😂

And you'll be told once again that she isn't teaching him. If he looks forward to it so much maybe think about the way you speak to people so that you don't keep ruining his opportunities.

How to take an apology graciously - lesson to learn for the day OP.

Your sense of entitlement is astounding.

Op you are that parent.
Do better so your DC doesn’t learn this attitude from you.

“My mummy pays your wages!”