Instrumental teacher refusing to teach my child

[MairSS]

I just cannot believe the email I’ve just received from my child’s instrumental teacher!
DS has been receiving instrumental lessons at school for a couple of terms. The music teacher is freelance and therefore parents pay fees directly to her.
We pay up front each half term. She invoices us. I had overpaid by one lesson last time, and she had not realised this. I therefore sent her a message telling her to check her account. She immediately did and apologised saying she had not realised and adjusted the invoice accordingly. I wrote another message saying that in fact I always pay on time and didn’t appreciate getting messages saying I hadn’t paid when I had.
She then said on reflection it may be better if I found an alternative teacher as she doesn’t tolerate rudeness and reattached her terms and conditions!
surely she can’t do this? How unprofessional! I’ll be making an appointment to see the headteacher on Monday!

She will finish this term I guess but you will not be accepted September 2024.

She is not obliged to teach your son next term

I am really sorry but I think you are in the wrong here. The teacher apologised for her error and then you messaged again and told her she was rude. I am not surprised about her decision; whilst she is teaching your son, the financial part of the relationship lies with you. Have you tried messaging and apologising? I would give that a go, personally. Also, if she does not accept the apology then I would not send your son in and expect him to go and take the lesson. I believe she is likely to send him away and tell him he is no longer having lessons and then he is going to be upset, which would be awful. I also do not think the head will force her to change her mind; it is her prerogative as a freelancer who she does, and does not, teach. As you say your child likes her and enjoys the lessons it’s an unfortunate bridge to have burned. Perhaps, as the lessons are something your child values, next time, reflect a little more on the messages send surrounding extra-curricular activities. Sounds like an unfortunate outcome for your son but there is still a chance, with an apology, she may change her mind. I really hope that this is the case for your child.

I'm self employed
I'm a tutor
No way would i accept being spoken to like that. In almost 15 years I have dropped maybe 3 students but you would have been dropped like a hot potato.
You pointed out the over payment and it should have ended there.

You rather cooked your own goose there, didn't you? It's a shame for your son. She might choose to relent, if you are very, very lucky. I can see why she might decide you're not worth the bother though.

You should have paid for the next half term minus the overpaid lesson. That payment was due at the start of the half term, not one week in. So if you intended to pay one week in you're the one who is wrong.

Do people like you really exist? I feel so sorry for the music teacher, and lets face it going by your awful attitude on here, all your DSs teachers, who have to put up with you!

You should, but wont, reflect this is a situation entirely of your own making..

Place your bets -

1. Op never comes back.
2. Thread is taken down after op complains and asks for it to be removed and she deregisters.
3. Op returns and gives a stupid excuse as to why she is so rude - foreign/autistic/had a bad childhood etc.
4. Op sticks to her guns and is even more arrogant and rude.
5. The music teacher appears and is lovely and we all applaud her!

Oooh . . . I would love no. 5 best of all your options but would feel safer placer my money on options 1 - 4. Probably no. 1 is the safest bet . . . .

OP will come back gloating that music teacher apologised to her for all of the misunderstandings and has agreed to teach her son for free from now on.

Or some other similar “gotcha” that seems utterly inexplicable but is mysteriously trotted out when a thread appears to be going badly for an OP.

I vote for No 1

tho I will be waiting with bated breath until Tuesday evening in the sad hope of an update.

She'll have it taken down for "privacy reasons". 2.

It's hardly outing. This type of parent are legion and they walk amongst us.

My money's on 3.

1, 4, and I hope for the fucking life of me 5.

This violin teacher is my new hero.

Gees, you sound really rude and entitled. You might still be able to save your child’s lesson if you apologise and put it down to you having a bad day but I wouldn’t blame her for not wanting to continue with the lessons (that’s the beauty of being freelance).

DH used to co-ordinate the music lessons at his school. The tales he could tell about parents like OP were endless! I'm glad he no longer does it, for the sake of his sanity. But I miss the entitled parent stories.

Oh I agree with you. However it often happens when posters don't like the responses.

Oh dear… Can’t wait for the update on Tuesday 🤣

Don’t give up @MairSS it’s your right to have this teacher teach your kid violin!

Okay, so without asking her, you decided to overpay the bill from last term in order to reduce the cost of this terms bill. In that case, why didn't you pay the bill when it arrived, minus the amount of one lesson?

In lieu of a better explanation, it sounds like you did this to try and delay having to make the next payment on time.

It must be annoying but ehen I had children I learnt to curb my reactions to annoying things for thee sake of the children.

Yep. This is reason I refuse to help with our youth band. The kids are great, but some of the parents are rude and insane to deal with.

I’m on the teacher’s side, it sounds like you were unnecessarily rude - she made an honest mistake which when pointed out she immediately rectified and apologised for.
It is a fairly extreme reaction to drop your child if it was just this incident so I’d say it’s probably not the first time you’ve been unreasonable or she just doesn’t enjoy teaching your child for whatever reason (progress, lack of practise, unpleasant attitude) and it’s a good excuse to end the relationship.

The teacher is very kind to agree to teach your son on Tuesday. I hope that you appreciate that, even if you don't have the decency to apologise.