Instrumental teacher refusing to teach my child

[MairSS]

I just cannot believe the email I’ve just received from my child’s instrumental teacher!
DS has been receiving instrumental lessons at school for a couple of terms. The music teacher is freelance and therefore parents pay fees directly to her.
We pay up front each half term. She invoices us. I had overpaid by one lesson last time, and she had not realised this. I therefore sent her a message telling her to check her account. She immediately did and apologised saying she had not realised and adjusted the invoice accordingly. I wrote another message saying that in fact I always pay on time and didn’t appreciate getting messages saying I hadn’t paid when I had.
She then said on reflection it may be better if I found an alternative teacher as she doesn’t tolerate rudeness and reattached her terms and conditions!
surely she can’t do this? How unprofessional! I’ll be making an appointment to see the headteacher on Monday!

Wow...I think you sound very entitled. No wonder she's sacked you off. She apologised so why go moaning further.

@MairSS Erm, if you had just moved on when she made an error, corrected it and apologised, you wouldn't be in this position.
More power to her.
Maybe next time you be such a stroppy mare over nothing.

You were rude. She decided that she didn't need your custom. She ended the contract. You need to eat a massive serving of humble pie and apologise. I think you will struggle to do this from the sounds of it. It is a useful life lesson.

Something to think about BEFORE you’re rude to the tutor.

You are the person who has messed this up. A grovelling apology to the teacher who your child likes and with whom he is enjoying his lessons might bring results, but if teachers don't want to deal with rude parents and there is no reason why they should.

You really are a rude and disrespectful person, I would not teach your son and I would give you back the money in cash and refuse to teach him.
I can't believe you know you are rude but still expect this person to teach your son. Your arrogance is astounding. You will make life hard for your son if you carry on like you are. You are obnoxious and sound a right pratt.

Entitlement mentality.

'We’ve all met people who have a sense of entitlement. Maybe it’s that person who tried to cut in front of you at the coffee shop. Perhaps it was someone who demanded to be seated before you at a busy restaurant without a reservation.
Simply put, people with a sense of entitlement think the rules don’t apply to them.'

What Is a Sense of Entitlement?
You owe me. The entitlement mentality is defined as a sense of deservingness or being owed a favor when little or nothing has been done to deserve special treatment. It’s the “you owe me” attitude.

Op, further reading is this article may help you understand why everyone is calling out your rude behaviour.

www.webmd.com/mental-health/what-is-an-entitlement-mentality

Wow, just 🙄

It looks like you are going to have to find another teacher though doesn’t it.

You're not wrong... I bet the only reason the music teacher has agreed to next Tuesday's lesson is to make sure she gets her violin back.

OP sounds like a woman in my kids class who put in a formal complaint and tried to claim compensation from the school after an item of school uniform was lost (the sort of item that my kid has lost x 10 since starting school). Claims poverty as a single mum but also goes on expensive holidays (e.g. to the US). Seriously embarrassed for these people.

Your entitled attitude is quite breathtaking.

Wow I can hardly believe this is real.

Your son has music lessons.
The agreement is for you to pay in advance at the start of each term.
You decided to include additional payment for one lesson at the start of this term in last terms payment.
You do not mention informing the music teacher you were doing this but even if you did why do you expect her to remember? She has a system, you messed around with it.
She expected payment for the correct number of lessons in this term and emailed you to say that.
You belatedly informed her of your decision to include fees for one lesson this term in last terms payment.
She found the payment and apologised.

YOU CREATED THE CONFUSION AND SHE APOLOGISED BUT YOU COULDN'T LEAVE IT THERE, YOU DECIDED TO BE RUDE TO HER.

You can complain to the head all you like, the music teacher is freelance, she doesn't have to teach your son. You have ruined this for your son. She is not cancelling the lessons because she does not want to teach your son, she's doing it because she does not want to deal with you.

Your only hope of rescuing the situation is to offer a groveling apology for creating confusion with payments and being rude to her. Although reading your comments here I hope she will have the sense to stick to her guns. You still owe her an apology.

OP, you have rightly bitten your own arse.🤣
You have completely over estimated your value to a good violin teacher that your child likes.
Your child is in a small group setting, directly after school, in the school, both suiting you time/money wise.

You have succeeded in completely unnecessarily marked yourself out as a THAT parent.
In demand music teachers dump parents like you with alarcity.
In short, you have REALLY fxcked up.
Go cap in hand and apologise profusely and hope to God she gives you the benefit of the doubt.
If she does, back slowly from the room, bowing as you do.😁
The alternative will be ten times more painful for you and your son, than humble pie.

You might not have intended to be rude but believe me, every message you have written in this thread comes across as rude, arrogant and self entitled which is no doubt why the music teacher does not want to have to deal with you again.

Acknowledging how rude you come across is a starting point but you're going to have to do some serious grovelling when you see her.

How unfortunate for you to be so ignorant.
Trying to take a kind view of your behaviour-I wonder if you are a 'no-body' in life (no shame-many of us are) and that no-one takes a blind bit of notice of you unless they have to- only if, for example, you are a customer.

I ask because I have noticed that this is they type of person who tends to throw their weight around when they think someone who they are paying has to take notice of them. They tend to get over excited and think -for a fleeting moment that hey are important.

They are often to be found also chucking their weight around in their child's school, the doctor's surgery and places like these.

I am sure you are now as puffed up as a turkey, humping and gumping to yourself, convinced that you have your foot on her neck and that she will be worried about it.

Take a step back, ask yourself why you want to be that woman who looks as if she is devoid of any charm and grace.

Whatever you EXPECT is pretty irrelevant as there is a person too on the other side... ... Clearly, the teacher EXPECTED parents to be civil to her... You weren't!! So she has withdrawn from any contract you had!

It's her business. She can do as she likes. She didn't like how you reacted therefore she doesn't have to put up with your attitude. You can't demand she teaches your child. That's ridiculous.

Is this a parody? You know you’re getting an amazing deal but you think it’s fine to be rude to her and she should carry on helping you out? 🤯

What do you mean by this bit in your post?

I wrote another message saying that in fact I always pay on time and didn’t appreciate getting messages saying I hadn’t paid when I had.

There’s nothing in your post that says that the teacher messaged you to say you hadn’t paid. I’m not sure why you sent her this message to say you always pay on time etc.

Also, I don’t think the headteacher can do anything to resolve this, as the music teacher is freelance, so presumably is not directly employed by the school. It would basically be a waste of the headteacher’s time to get involved.

So... This is also patronising...

You didn't ask /advise her of this payment... Just expecting her to notice and guess what this was for!!!

She'll be having many pupils and money transfers from different parents /schools... How the eff is she supposed to work this out and adjust bills...??

But if course you're so entitled... You didn't consider this... 😂😂😂

You sound really entitled and rude! You totally disregard her as a person. Why would she put herself through that behaviour, she knows better and she can go without. Learn your lesson and think Before you speak/ type.

Oh you’d already jumped the shark, but with that you’ve circled back and taken another run at it 🤣

So if this wasn’t all made up, you’d be saying that the reason the teacher missed the additional payment was because it was entirely unsolicited. So you were expecting her to note a random payment that she didn’t ask for or want, and then have the extra work of adjusting your invoice for the half term ahead but not anyone else’s. And then you were rude to her when she didn’t do this. Twice.

I said at the start - no way were you going to have the balls to show us the rude email you wrote. Surprise surprise, you still haven’t 😆

OP seems to have gone quiet. Licking her wounds perhaps?

OP be aware that the world of freelance music teachers and similar is often close knit. Several years ago when I dumped a young client as they had "That Parent" I emailed my peers in the area to warn them. No freelancer worth their salt needs to inconvenience themself with a difficult client. Dump and move on to the next on the waiting list.

You better send a really good grovelling apology, and never assume.