To think it was obvious they were for the kids??

[Birump]

DS is having a little play date today, low key birthday “party” but DS doesn’t really do parties so it’s more of a gloried play date.
Yesterday I did some baking … 8 sausage rolls, 8 scotch eggs, 8 jam slags and 8 chocolate brownies.

Came down this morning and most of it is gone, I text DH asking if he’d touched the baking and he said yes, he’d taken it for work.

im fuming, isn’t it fucking obvious that they were for the kids for today?? He’s insisting that it was not obvious. This is not the first time he’s done something like this.

I can’t believe that people are advocating humiliating themselves by saying that they’d phone his boss. Seriously? He’s an adult at work not a child in school and WTAF has it got to do with his boss? He’s rightly not going to give a flying fuck. What planet do you people live on?

Men are dense about things that don’t directly affect them. I tell DH to help yourself or don’t touch every single time I bake 🤣

So, OP, your own husband doesn’t care about:

your time
your effort
embarrassing you in front of other people
ruining his child’s birthday party

How does he show you he does care? Or are you just his support human, there to enable his life, and there to be disregarded and belittled like this at his whim? Honestly, if my DH pulled this sort of shit, he wouldn’t be coming home. Especially as you seem to know well enough that he did this on purpose, so it can’t be the first time. What do you get out of this relationship?

Is he unwell? Does he need help with communication and cognition? Is he unable to speak, to ask you questions? I cannot believe what some of the women on these boards put up with in a so-called partner.

He shouldn't have taken them, but if you were going to the trouble of making all these lovely things why didn't you make a fee extra for the family? Odd to bake an amount specific to just the party and no extras.

Family would get what's left. OP had probably factored that in.

Men are dense about things that don’t directly affect them.

No they’re not. You’ve just been brainwashed into believing that so it seems cute and puts you in a position of carer for said men. What’s actually happening is that they’re absolving themselves of all responsibility because they’ve convinced women like you to go ‘durr men eh? What silly Billy’s, just give them constant instructions and it’s all fine!’.

Jam slags is now my new password.

Well said. I'm wondering the same.

This is not about sausage rolls; it's about his fundamental character.

I doubt anyone is seriously suggesting ringing his boss but it must be extremely tempting.

I'm usually the one saying food should be shared etc etc but this completely wrong. It's clearly for the kids and I'm assuming because you've done exactly 8nof everything you wouldn't normally cook over like this and have things like this baked. He definitely been too selfish here. How could he not see they were for the kids ?!

This is a strange comment.

I doubt anyone is seriously suggesting ringing his boss but it must be extremely tempting.

Considering some of the many bonkers suggestions that I’ve seen on MN(Creme Egg) I’d have no trouble believing it and no it wouldn’t be tempting for me because the only person I’d be humiliating would be me.

He's not acting like an adult. I was actually going to suggest asking a colleague to bring them, as he refused, but only if OP knows his colleagues. Phoning the boss would only make sense if he'd claimed he couldn't leave work to bring them back.
The point would be to show him he can't get away with his behaviour as it's socially not condoned, showing there's support for his wife and child in the wider community he lives and works in.
In some cultures it's more usual, involving the wider community in issues that are seen as private in the UK.

It's also vengeful so can be satisfying :)

Your H is a selfish prick. And you said he has done something like this previously? He has no respect for you or your DC. None.

How much did he actually take OP?

I mean, it's shitty to take any when it was obvious (and you told him) that you were baking for the party. But you said he took most of it?

Taking most of it would be extremely shitty even if there wasn't a party, surely he would take one or two of each thing and leave the rest for you and your child to enjoy.

Taking most of it is extremely selfish and greedy.

He thinks he's more important than you and your DS.

Does he also expect you to wait on him hand and foot when he's ill but when you're ill you just have to get on with things as he's too busy?

How would it be tempting. On what planet is the ops food or their food anything to do with the boss.

the boss isn’t the parent and they aren’t kids telling tales.

Can he send you some money to order the kids a takeaway.

Personally I'd be going up to his cupboard, fetching his favourite t-shirts and letting the kids "decorate" them with marker pens during the party. Maybe they could cut them up and make patchwork with them? After all, you "didn't know" that he would mind, did you?

I'd also be shipping out any special food of his in the kitchen to the food bank.

Excessive maybe, but I'm afraid his response would send me slightly psycho. Who takes a whole load of baked goods that are very obviously not for them? And then responds with anything other than an "I know, I was out of order" and a grovelling apology.

In the meantime, sell some of his stuff on Vinted and order some pizzas and fancy ice cream?

Can you post a link to what you think a jam slag is? I'm very curious about this giant jam tart with extra jam 😋

Unfortunately your husband is a selfish twat, who feels his own time and easy life are more important than yours (and his kids)…

Slightly psycho?

I need resolution about the jam ball@Birump .
And while I agree with a lot of the comments about the husband here and attitudes to men in general - life does have nuance, yes it's a bad situation being described but hey, maybe he has compensating features.

This is so very weird. Does he not like his child? It would be genuinely worrying and sinister to me.