MIL thinks having c-section isn’t “giving birth”

[Newmum288]

Which offends me! I had a c-section. My daughter was born. She still has a birthday. If I didn’t birth her, how the heck is she here?!

YABU - a c-section isn’t “giving birth”
YANBU - a c-section is still “giving birth”

I've had two ELCS. I don't think I'd describe it as 'giving birth' because when I think of a woman giving birth I think of labour. But you are actually right I guess, its just not how I'd describe it myself.

Your MIL sounds like a dick to be arguing with you over this kind if thing. I'm guessing there's probably a back story of her being difficult in general.

It's a phrase with a lot of meaning attached which different people interpret and relate to differently. I see giving birth as the physiological process a woman's body goes through through to expell the baby. In a CS a woman's body doesn't go through the same system of ejection. The baby is Still born though. Labour is a pretty active process and a c section isn't, but really nobody should be commenting on how anyone's baby's was born except to say 'well done!'

Your MIL is William Shakespeare, presumably. Does she call it being from the mother's womb untimely ripped instead?

But, Macbeth references aside, giving birth by C section is still giving birth.

She’s ridiculous. I had to have a c section due to the placenta completely covering the birth canal so there was a huge chance myself and DD wouldn’t be here now if I didn’t have caesarean.

And what the woman has an EMCS after going through hours of labour?

I agree with you. Idiotic responses.

Having a c section is giving birth. Just as bottle feeding is feeding.

I think people will always have their weird ideas re giving birth and having babies- was at a hen and they were talking about everything- babies/ birth/ sleep and I kept quiet because I knew out of the 4 of us that had kids I was the only one that hadn’t breast fed. One of my other friends said nothing and then made a comment that she couldn’t comment as she had ‘only had a c section’. I was like wtf you were amazing for what you went through and there was no difference- you had a baby, and then afterwards she gave out to me (laughing) because she realised the reason I don’t talk about night feeds is because I didn’t breast feed. She said ‘god we all find reasons to whip ourselves don’t we?!’ (But I know she still feels the same way and I still feel uncomfortable talking feeding years later!)

Her baby is born and she has clearly had an absolutely horrendous time and deserves all of the praise and accolades for what's been through, and not someone splitting hairs to define whether or not that constitutes 'giving birth' or not.

This. Tell her to fucking do one OP.

Who cares what she thinks? There's no medal for giving birth a certain way. Nothing about vaginal birth sounded even vaguely appealing to me, so if a c sections means I didn't "give birth" that's fine with me!

It could just be semantics but it seems like a bigger issue with MIL most likely. I had 2 c-sections and have no issues with how some interpret this phrase or use it. It might be used more for vaginal births in the wordings people use.

Yanbu. You gave birth via c-section and anyone who thinks otherwise can fuck off!

I have done both.

I do feel like the phrase “giving birth” is suggestive of labour - contractions, pushing, crowning etc.

It’s not a judgmental thing, just what is conjured up when I think of the phrase. Which doesn’t really make sense because obviously with a c-section there has been a birth; your child has been born.

Maybe your MIL equates “giving birth” with labour in the same way. In which case I wouldn’t get offended (and I think the pp who called her an “entitled cow” is really out of line). It could be its just a different interpretation.

Ignore her. She's trying to find away to put you down.

I had 2 emc and with second one if I wasn't able to get a section we'd both be dead. Tell her to shut the fuck I'm

Anyone who says a c section is not giving birth is an ignorant arsehole

It's major surgery going through 9 layers, with many potential complication to major organs especially in emergency situation. Anyone talking this shit clearly has no clue on the pain of one

Who cares what she thinks? There's no medal for giving birth a certain way. Nothing about vaginal birth sounded even vaguely appealing to me, so if a c sections means I didn't "give birth" that's fine with me!

Same. I had two planned c sections (for medical reasons) and to be honest, I didn't have a single contraction or any of the pain of labour so I don't feel like I really gave birth.

And, hearing my friebds' experiences, it was bloody great! I lay back, someone else did the hard work and out they came. I genuinely couldn't care less what people think about the birth, I carried them, I've brought them up so, the birth is irrelevant to me.

Well - if you didn’t give birth, she isn’t a grandmother (same lack of logic).

Don’t allow her to upset you, OP. What she says is in no way relevant, and if she keeps going with more and more of the same bullshit, it will impact her relationship with you, your partner and your children.

Your MIL sounds like a bitch, what a horrible comment

It’s probably just interpretation of the word. I do think giving birth relates more to vaginal birth as it’s the process of giving birth the woman has gone through to push the baby out. A C section someone else has cut the baby out. It doesn’t make it lesser though and the baby is of course still born, it’s just different.

I never would have thought that at all tbh. In my head, 'giving birth' equalled baby exiting mums body. Genuinely never considered the method to discount that wording.

YANBU. Either get your DP to tell her that her attitude is hurtful, or just add 9 months to your babies age in conversations with the in-laws. So, MIL says -aww, look at my GC 6 months old- you say - oops, baby hasn’t been born, I’m 15 months pregnant.

I had a C section and I don't think I gave birth as to me that does imply natural vaginal birth. I had major surgery which was probably worse with all the recovery that entails! It wouldn't bother me if she just said it offhand but obviously if she's saying it to be dismissive or critical of what you went through that's very different.

I couldn't waste my time and anger on this.

Just ignore her? Unless of course you feel like there's some truth in it which is why you are upset?

You brought a healthy and happy baby into the world, that's all that should matter.