To push ds into claiming

[Lacky301]

Ds has just finished uni and never worked through me and ex dp give him £450 a month between us plus I've always bought him the odd thing and gave a bit extra here and there.
Me and his dad are seperated and his dads just received notification that he will now be charged full council tax as ds has finished uni I'm under strain financially. I've told ds he needs to claim universal credit until he finds a job but he keeps saying I want my results first. Am I wrong in pushing him to claim to take some pressure off me and dp. Fwiw he would get around £370 per month as living at home.

He’s making himself more unemployable by the day. How embarrassing.

ds is on his 2nd job since starting uni. He got fed up with the first one, pizza delivery (which he got by going into all the shops in town in person) after 10 months or so as the shifts were rubbish, so looked for something else by walking into places to enquire and had a new one within the week. Handed in a weeks notice at pizza place and was working as bar staff the next day.

He needs to go out and find a job.

Also, having a job and work experience will help him massively when applying for jobs, and doing interviews, in his chosen field.

Now that's just not true, is it? I'm a hospitality manager and every summer/Christmas we have a fresh recruitment drive for seasonal workers, as well as rehiring students coming home from uni!

Is the graduate jobs scheme thing where you apply the previous autumn something new or has it been around a long time. Just wondering as I didn't get any careers advice at uni at all and hadn't heard of jobs specific to new graduates apart from teaching jobs. Although I left uni 20 years ago so things have probably changed loads.

OP, my son is nearly 18 and just finished college but he's been going all over the place with his CV. He already works part time self employed so he is going round asking for more work with that and also applying for places like tesco, Lidl etc to bump up his earnings.

OK, but what about during the holidays? Honestly I'm gobsmacked that you think he should be applying for benefits rather than focusing on getting a job. Any job. He's a grown ass adult who needs to start acting like one.

I left uni in 1998 and graduate schemes were definitely a thing then. September intakes.

Very time consuming to apply for - application form, interview, weekend assessment centre etc.

This.
Out of necessity I worked nights and weekends term time and 2 jobs (one full time in lab) and a second nights and weekends in the holidays when I was an undergrad and postgrad. I know for a fact that helped get me my first "proper" job post uni.

Wow op you’ve done him no favours. He’s what, 22, and never had a job?! Most people work through uni. And now you’re telling him to claim benefits rather than work? Ridiculous

@Lacky301 it absolutely is a "lifestyle choice" he's perfectly capable of working, yet is choosing not to despite being an adult. He either expects you to financially suppprt him or to rely on benefits whilst he takes some time to "decide". The reality is that if you weren't supporting him he'd have to work to feed and clothe himself. And with good reason too.

Wow op!! You have had enough of paying, so all of us should instead??! He is perfectly able to work- just doesn't want to- and you think the benefit system is for lazy ex students to do not a lot.
Nobody on here is benefit bashing- just lazy entitled layabout bashing.
And, yes it is easy to get a job as a stop gap. My teens have both worked in hospitality from 15 and the now 17 yr old has 2 jobs alongside college so that she can run her own car.

This is really embarrassing for him. And you OP, if it's true.

If he's finished a degree then he's a grown up and needs to start acting like one. If you are in anyway presentable and articulate you can walk into a temp office job in most big cities, if he's above bar work. There are loads of agencies - I did it all the way through uni and had a full summer of reception jobs every year, paid better than retail or bar work and still allowed for a social life. Mind you I didn't have parents footing the bill for my lifestyle so I did have a bit more motivation...

Or as others suggest - retail, bar work, supermarkets. It's coming into summer and lots of people will be taking on temp staff.

The fact that you and he would even consider claiming benefits before doing any of these things, while he 'sorts his career' is truly embarrassing. I wouldn't be holding my breath for that career being sorted either by the way, if this is an indication of his work ethic.

It’s not new, it was like that when I graduated 14 years ago and it had been around long before that. We had a well established careers fair for the grad schemes at my uni every year and everyone applied for the grad schemes from the autumn before graduating and throughout the year. I think it was called milk round before my time at uni.

So mow he will be around. What is his degree in? How come he has not applied for grad scheme?

University is over. In our home if you are not in full-time education then you are expected to be in full-time employment (and part-time employment is not acceptable). You work and you pay a contribution to the household.

Those are the choices we have given.

It doesn't matter what you do but you are working and contributing to your living costs and society.

The default, at 21 and beyond, is that it is time to support yourself, even while waiting for the "proper job". So I would say it is time to reduce/then stop the financial support and make it clear a job, any job, needs to be found immediately.

Absolutely make him claim it

So he can get off his lazy arse and work for it

He might find his official last date at uni is later than his last exam, which will make claiming any benefit impossible really. Are you sure he is expected to pass his course OP? I would be suspicious that he may think he won't, hence not applying for jobs earlier. Most seem to apply for graduate jobs November - April time, his reasoning doesn't make sense. I would be pushing him to make contact with his university's career department, his CV for example should have been sorted out long ago, along with interview techniques etc. In the meantime you need to stop facilitating him by giving him money. Universal credit should not even be on his or your radar to be honest.

That is a lifestyle choice. Unless you have parents supporting financially, you get a job for income. You sort out your career while working!

His lack of any work experience looks terrible to employers!

Are you new to this site? There was only one way this thread was going to go 🤣. Personally, I wouldn’t push my DCs into hospitality jobs - there’s a reason people just walk into those jobs and it isn’t a good one. Fingers crossed he finds something soon. I had a couple of months off when I finished uni many years ago. I’ve worked full time since and am not lazy, work shy or any of those things. I just wanted a short break before starting 40 odd years of work.

I work in fintech. Our interns start next month and our grad programme, which kicks off in September, is about 95% full. If your kiddo hasn't been applying to these programmes, then he's missed the boat.

Oh, and for what it's worth, I had three PT jobs -one as a cleaner, one as a tour guide and one in retail - while doing my MSc. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it, but it was doable.

Tell your little prince to get off his arse and get a job.

Out of interest, did you claim benefits to pay for it?

He sounds work shy, getting universal credit and his dad off his back, will not incentivise him to get a job.

I'm confused to why he is waiting for his results. For what a grad job to land in his lap? You can generally work out what your degree classification is likely to be by breaking down the units and weighting. I can't imagine he's gone through most of third year without a clue.

He found working hard whilst studying? Was he on placements or something? There is no reason for a student to not work whilst at university. There is so much time outside of lectures, not to mention the long holidays.

Sorry OP you've enabled him and now he has no sense of urgency to get a job because he's never had to because mum and dad could easily afford to keep his lifestyle at university. You can't really now say you are now feeling the strain but letting your son dither. He has to have an ultimatum of finding a job within two weeks or sign on.

No there was no point as I had a job lined up. I just applied for a job with a start date that meant I had a break first. Funded by my boyfriend at the time ( still together 25 years later). Having a short break after studying for years doesn’t mean you’re lazy is the point I was making.