To wonder what’s the point when I’m left with this after bills?

[ReLOa]

In a stressful job and single parent to nursery age child. I have 570 left after all bills and childcare and petrol, excluding food. What is the actual point in this?! We can’t do much at weekends and holidays are out of the question. I’m supposedly in a highly paid job (earn 70k) and I feel like giving up. Just been paid and looking ahead at the month I’ve already had to turn down some things like an adventure park day with friends as it was 28 pounds entry and a 35 mile round trip. I feel like I’m failing yet not sure what more I can possibly do?!

You're avoiding answering questions...

£70k salary means you take home £4200 a month.

£1600 nursery and £900 mortgage is £2500.

So that leaves you with £1700 each month which is a HUGE amount.

So either there is something you're not telling us (debt payments? Gambling addiction? Huge commuting costs?) or you need to work on your budgeting skills.

Student loan repayments might be £320 a month remember.

@Ariela i wish I had done this. It’s so hard

@SilentSilhouette no, as I said I’m left with under 600.

My food bill is about £80 a week for 2 adults.

One of whom is a 19yo swimmer bottomless pit 😂

How much longer will DC be in nursery?

It feels like a slog now but as soon as they are at school you’ll have more to do fun stuff.

You also obviously have a good career so there will be promotions ahead.

Keep going x

If she has a student loan to repay and compulsory pension contributions of 10% then she will have take home pay of about £3500, leaving £1000 a month after paying nursery and mortgage for council tax, utilities, transport, phone, TV, food, clothes etc

It's in the OP:
I have 570 left after all bills and childcare and petrol, excluding food.

Council tax
Home insurances
Electricity
Gas
Water and waste water
TV licence
Broadband, phone and TV channels
Car insurance
Vehicle tax
Petrol
Amazon Prime
Mobile phone
Student loan
Debt repayments
Health/dental insurance

There are lots of costs that could whittle your £1,700 down to the £570 OP is left with in her pocket.

Well one day you'll have no nursery bills and your mortgage will be paid off, giving you an additional £2500 per month - on which you'll be able to live very well. That's the point.

Or, if you prefer the alternative, sell your house and move into rented, jack your job in, get a minimum wage job and UC top up and see if that's enjoyable.

Get some perspective.

@SilentSilhouette - she can’t have £1700 left, from that she has to pay pension contributions, council tax, all utilities, petrol, car general costs, insurance, phone, internet etc etc

Then the £570 has to pay for all food, child day to day stuff like new shoes, car seat, days out, house and garden stuff and repairs, Christmas, kids birthday party and gifts, visiting family, .
£140 a week isn’t ‘loads’ spare for someone on £70k.
As it’s going to be used up on op buying food, her child new shoes, laundry powder and a bottle of calpol for example. Next week it will go on food, again, and plumber called out to fixed leak will use up the next two weeks £140 leaving nothing for the rest of the month

The nursery years are completely soul destroying, you feel like you’re working for next to nothing. I totally see where you’re coming from. And being a sole earner you’re missing out on child benefit too. A couple could have the same joint income (or more) and could well be eligible for child benefit, so that sucks too. It’s gets easier once you get the funding after they turn 3.

Because it's short term pain
Leave your job you risk becoming unemployable in the future, miss out on pension contributions, bonuses, pay rises.

Honestly, the whole "I work to out my kids in nursery so I should just quit" is not a good attitude to have.

Pointless compared to what though? What's your alternative?

But 70k earned by two people is worth more than 70k earned by one person due to hitting the higher tax band and only one share of tax relief.

You have our food budget there which is for 4 of us, including toiletries and cleaning products which is very generous as I don't really budget as such and that's really for 4 adults (2 teenagers but they both swim and eat more then 2 adults). So I actually think you should be able to manage ok, it is hard when they are little, with expensive nursery fees but they also don't cost much cloths wise or need much toys or other stuff. I used to buy a lot of good second hand stuff and they grow through it so fast anyway or destroy it at nursery so no point wasting money on expensive clothes.

But two people eat more, usually run two cars, pay more council tax, use more water, have more work lunches, need more clothes and shoes, have two phones ...

@CerealPonderer my mortgage is due to be paid off when I’m 70!

@Hungrycaterpillarsmummy i know it’s not a good attitude. Just feels really hard at the moment

i know it’s not a good attitude. Just feels really hard at the moment

Young children are expensive with nursery. But the benefit is they really aren't fussed about expensive days out or holidays away. A picnic at the playground thrills my two. My 2 year old is happy just walking a park with a ball.

I mean surely food for one adult and child can be done for £75 a week leaving £270 a month for free spends.

I understand it feels disheartening but please don’t quit work. Hurtling to my mid-50s and went back to work when children hit 6 months as we needed the money. I am bloody glad of those pension contributions now.

OP it's super hard when they are in nursery but really pays off once they start school and childcare is cheaper.
Funded hours are being extended for under 3's so that should help too?

Are you using tax-free childcare for nursery fees? That should save a couple of hundred a month.

It's true but for many people nursery fees don't mean less holidays or days out, they mean struggling to pay your bills.

I've been there and it was awful. I've never felt so helpless and discouraged in my life.