To wonder what’s the point when I’m left with this after bills?

[ReLOa]

In a stressful job and single parent to nursery age child. I have 570 left after all bills and childcare and petrol, excluding food. What is the actual point in this?! We can’t do much at weekends and holidays are out of the question. I’m supposedly in a highly paid job (earn 70k) and I feel like giving up. Just been paid and looking ahead at the month I’ve already had to turn down some things like an adventure park day with friends as it was 28 pounds entry and a 35 mile round trip. I feel like I’m failing yet not sure what more I can possibly do?!

"The point" is that we work to pay our bills, put a roof over the family's heads and food on the table.

What's the alternative - to give up and let those who carry on working pay taxes so that you don't have to?

£4200 take home pay

it’s likely the OP pays more than £50 into her pension

Unsurprisingly the nursery fees are your biggest bill. Luckily that one wont be for ever.
Once your LO starts school you'll find things get a lot easier.

Honestly @ReLOa you do realise many millions of people are managing at the moment on much lower wages than you?

Seriously, people’s expectations are ridiculous. When I had my dc I earned 18k and dh £32k, our mortgage was £850 a month (in 2008). Yes, it was tight but we budgeted and I went back to full time once dc were in juniors to get my career back on track. Nursery is such a small part of life but it’s expensive short term. I don’t think you realise how lucky you are.

Bloody hell. I'm on 26k with a first class degree, Masters and PhD to my name, and felt bad for moaning I was struggling.

70k?! Poor dab.

When we bought our first house in 1985 the interest rate was 15%, after bills, mortgage and food we had £5 left each week. It was about 2 years later that we could start going out and go on cheap holidays and another few years before we could consider starting a family.

Exactly

and this
"The point" is that we work to pay our bills, put a roof over the family's heads and food on the table.

If you are on £70K, you are doing very well indeed.
Presumably there is also contributions from the dc's father to be added to that, plus child benefit ?
If you are able to pay a mortgage that will give you a long term asset that will increase in value, will give you security of tenure and will give you and your child a roof over your head, you are doing very well indeed.

Nursery years will be over very soon and look how much you will have then.

Perhaps have a little consideration for all the mere mortals who will never earn £70K, despite being senior in their careers.

You're on a decent salary.

You won't be paying nursery fees for ever. When they stop you'll be pretty comfortable.

Many people have to get by on far less.

Seriously, people’s expectations are ridiculous. When I had my dc I earned 18k and dh £32k, our mortgage was £850 a month (in 2008). Yes, it was tight but we budgeted and I went back to full time once dc were in juniors to get my career back on track. Nursery is such a small part of life but it’s expensive short term. I don’t think you realise how lucky you are.

@TeenLifeMum But 50k in 2008 is more like 80k in todays money so more than the OP and take home would be higher as it was two earners vs one.

Your DC must be young for you to be paying that much per month, but it will go down when you get funded hours, and again when they are at school. In the meantime you are increasing your earning potential, building a pension, paying towards a property you'll one day own, and you do have plenty to feed the two of you.

I've been single since nursery years and had to pay for everything on a far smaller salary. I've always shopped carefully and generally always managed to have a little to spare.

Lots of people are struggling and many much more than you OP.

There’s this bizarre dichotomy on MN whereby if somebody on benefits says they only have £120 a week left after their rent and bills to cover absolutely everything else the household needs and they daren’t even think about Christmas because the idea of not being able to treat their DC makes them cry, everyone rages about disgusting the Tories are for thinking anyone can live on such a pittance and how awful life is for them; yet when somebody not on benefits says they only have the same amount to do the same, everyone rages about them not knowing they’re born and tells them how lucky they are to eat more than beans on toast.

OP could you divide your money into pots so for example £20 per month goes into a days out pot and £20 for Christmas and birthdays, £30 for clothes etc? Then you will be able to afford some treats and hopefully your expenses will even out each month.

@ComtesseDeSpair yep!

But OP's situation will be very short lived, not long term.

Are you kidding right now???

I'm.in care. I have £200 left if I'm lucky. I'm happy with that. Everything I like doing is free.

£570 and you still haven't got enough!!!! Jeez!!!

I’m assuming you get Child Benefit?
Single Occupancy Council Tax Discount?
Child Maintenance for DC father? In an ideal world he should be paying half the nursery fees as his salary won’t have been compromised by having a DC. Why does childcare always seem as the woman’s expense I.e. coming out of the woman’s salary? Surely we need to get away from this, it should be a JOINT cost because the man cannot work without childcare either? Sorry that just annoys me, so unless your DCs father is looking after him 2 1/2 days a week he should be paying half the fees.

I had 3 dc in nursery and fuel was crazy expensive in that period (similar to prices now). Interest rates were over 5%. Her mortgage is very similar.

The majority of households have lower income than op, even 2 people households. I just think people are so unaware on this site and feel worse of than everyone else. I’m about to go to my friend’s house - she’s a single mum with 4dc earning a school TA salary. I can only imagine her reaction to this thread.

The majority of households have lower income than op, even 2 people households.. That doesn’t mean the OP is better off, that’s just a measure of
PAYE income whereas loads have other income streams and many have lower housing costs.

I just don’t understand the race to the bottom personally.

i don’t understand the point in work when this is my take home. Food and nappies and days out and clothes all on 570 a month? It’s not possible and it feels pointless slogging my guts out all week

Sole income so taxed more

Nobody gets 70k on benefits

The point of work is to be able to pay your bills. Which you can, with lots left over.

Your friend will be entitled to all sorts of benefits that OP went access and you may actually find your friend is better off disposable income wise.

The point of work is to be able to pay your bills. Which you can, with lots left over.

That doesn’t make sense, lots of people don’t earn enough despite working to pay their bills?

I’m about to go to my friend’s house - she’s a single mum with 4dc earning a school TA salary. I can only imagine her reaction to this thread.

Do you think her housing & childcare costs are in line with the OP?