Changing the bed linen in between guests staying over

[userloadsofnumbers]

I am going to try and write this as factually as possible. We have a lot of people staying over for various reasons. Partner A thinks the bed linen needs to be washed in between every guest, even if they've just slept in the bed for one night/a few hours. Partner B thinks that is unnecessary and doesn't have to be done every time.

Partner A also feels the house should be generally tidied before guests come over - stuff put away, surfaces wiped, plates/cups etc in the dishwasher instead of piled high next to the sink. Again, Partner B disagrees.

Partner A thinks 99% of people think like they do. Partner B says their parents and sister agree with them so Partner A is the weird one and has issues surrounding guests visiting.

So - who is being unreasonable?

Poll: YANBU - if you agree with Partner A
YABU - if you agree with Partner B

Of course you wash the bedding.

Urgh! Partner B is gross.

This. If a dd had slept in the bed for one night, I wouldn’t change the bedding for another immediate family member, and they wouldn’t expect it.

Sort of depends who the visitors are.
If they are close family that I am relaxed around I wouldn't necessarily tidy up too much.
I think I would always change the sheets and pillow case....maybe not duvet cover if I have a sheet on too....but if it was one daughter staying one night and her sister the next I may not bother.
If they are coming back I might not wash it but just save it to put back on.

If there is a decent gap between visitors AND they are nice clean people who left no visible marks or smells....I might just leave the bedding on and air it out in situ....then if someone else came along a month later I think that would be ok

My small grandchildren sometimes sleep over for a night, as long as its one of them coming then I don't change the bedding every time because they bed hop anyway. Otherwise new guest = new bedding, every time

What?! You wouldn't change the sheets if a woman had slept there? Because women don't sweat or have bodily secretions?

A friend I stayed with once actually said this to me and seemed to expect congratulations. 😬God knows how many people she had sleep on the sheets before she washed them again.

They don’t sweat or secrete enough over the course of one night for me to bother washing a whole set of bedding, no. I’m a very busy lady 😂

This thread is a mumsnet perennial isn't it? The most interesting thing about it is that it demonstrates clearly that most men have no idea how much works having guests meant for their mothers because clearly it was invisible. Like the magic laundry basket in the advert.

We would go with Partner B's view for very close family - I don't mind sleeping on sheets that my mum or sister has used for one night and they feel the same. It's quite frequent that we have back-to-back visits as none of us have a hoise big enough to accommodate everyone so we have a big get together by one family/couple arriving on the same day as another family/couple is leaving so we overlap for lunch and there's no bedlinen switcharound. I wouldn't do this for people who weren't very close but we rarely have guests to stay that aren't this close.

Tidying likewise. We'll tackle the worst of it but if we like someone enough to want them to stay the night we trust them not to judge us for general clutter etc.

Neither I nor my DH would dream of not changing the sheets between guests- and I wouldn't fancy sleeping in a 'post close family' bed either. OP how about having this conversations with your guests in front of your DP 'I was reading an interesting thing on Mumsnet the other day and would be interested in your take......'

I'm a scruffpot when it comes to my own bedding (I make the effort for my DD to change it frequently) but I would always change it in between guests. People might have certain skin conditions or allergies at the very least. I bet Partner B wouldn't be too happy if he went to a hotel and they didn't change the bedding between guests.

Would Partner B be happy staying in a hotel knowing the sheets weren't cleaned in between guests? 🤢

Your DH is just being a lazy bastard isn’t he? He can’t be bothered, that’s all. It’s a kind of self absorption.

he refuses to do it because "it's fine" and "no-one else cares"

I certainly wouldn't care. Unless there are stains on the sheets, I wouldn't even think about whether the bedding had been washed since the last person slept in in. It just isn't important. I wouldn't care whether you've washed the towels, either.

And I couldn't care less whether you have stuff waiting to go in the dishwasher. It's your house: it's where you live and there will be signs of normal home life.

Definitely change. Only exception is if the SAME guest is coming back a few days later after a brief stay.

It needs washing. However, my toddler and I stay at my other half's sometimes and she sleeps in his guest room (double bed). His dad also visits once every couple of weeks overnight and the bedding isn't washed in between DD and his dad using it, but his dad knows and says not to bother he doesn't mind sleeping in a bed a toddler has. Different if you don't tell people/give the option though I think.

Is he 16, by chance? 😂😂😂

Team Partner A here.

They may do if they’re pre menopausal! 😂

@FangsForTheMemory it does highlight that but it also begs the question why so many women just pick this job up as if it's theirs to do. Why don't women just not do this stuff when their partners friends and family come to stay as surely you just do your own family?

One reason I think js that women feel they'll be judged, unfortunately that judging is often by other women. We need to move away from all these expectations that are placed on women.

Depends who it is. The main people who visit me are my sisters & mum & only ever for 1 night. They will often tell me not to bother changing bed every time so sometimes i might do it every other.

For anyone else I would always change it.

Yes the bedding should be changed between guests. I wouldn't want to sleep in my parent or sibling sheets either.

If it's too much then maybe you shouldn't have guests so often? It's hard work!

It's tough if he's inviting people to stay but then refuses to do the legwork. I've just told DH his parents are not staying over when we all get together for a wedding next month as we'll have enough on and I know I'll be the one changing sheets and cleaning.

I couldn't imagine not changing the sheets between guests, nomatter who they are. My parents stayed last weekend and my sister is staying at the moment, there is no way I would have kept the same bedding on the bed without washing it even though they're related.

We have coverless duvets on all of our beds and a spare set for each room so changing the sheets is really a 5 minute job. Used set off, clean set out of the airing cupboard. It means I'm not dashing to wash and dry the bedding all in one day.