Changing the bed linen in between guests staying over

[userloadsofnumbers]

I am going to try and write this as factually as possible. We have a lot of people staying over for various reasons. Partner A thinks the bed linen needs to be washed in between every guest, even if they've just slept in the bed for one night/a few hours. Partner B thinks that is unnecessary and doesn't have to be done every time.

Partner A also feels the house should be generally tidied before guests come over - stuff put away, surfaces wiped, plates/cups etc in the dishwasher instead of piled high next to the sink. Again, Partner B disagrees.

Partner A thinks 99% of people think like they do. Partner B says their parents and sister agree with them so Partner A is the weird one and has issues surrounding guests visiting.

So - who is being unreasonable?

Poll: YANBU - if you agree with Partner A
YABU - if you agree with Partner B

@Myblindsaredown eh? You wouldn't sleep in a bed your spouse had slept in the night before?

I sometimes change sheets but don't wash them e.g if person A stays a night, then person B stays, and then person A is coming back in the near future. I'd take A's sheets off, put fresh ones on for B and then put A's back on again. But I wouldn't expect someone to sleep in another person's sheets unless perhaps it was their spouse / partner.

Partner A Needs to stop being a doormat and refuse visitors. We live in a tourist area. Friends spend every bank holiday and school holidays clearing up and catering for their extended families.

It really is bloody cheeky @userloadsofnumbers

You are so obviously partner A 😂

Of course bedding should be clean. My house is clean and tidy but I wouldn't worry if there were eg a few plates waiting to go into the dishwasher when people came round- I don't tidy up specially for guests because it's not necessary.

If it’s the same guests, then it would be fine, as long as it wasn’t too long a gap between the two visits.

different guests - absolutely foul to make them sleep in the same bedding as other people

I hope Partner B’s sister and mother let their guests know they sheets have “only been slept in once or twice” by other people 🤮

Change the bed between every guest!

Tidying up depends on the state of the house generally and the type of guest/event. Huge family Christmas would warrant a massive clear up for me, but if my sister was coming to stay for a night then she'd take us as she finds us (and probably load the dishwasher if it needed doing....).

Partner B is grim, the thought of sleeping in a bed someone else has slept in makes me shudder, just vile!

I'd also be embarrassed to invite guests round with an untidy house.

It's disgusting to make your guests sleep on unclean sheets! Nasty! If it's too much work then B needs to invite fewer people to stay.

The only time I wouldn't change the sheets is if it's same people coming back or I hate my guests...
Otherwise, even by my own lazy standards- I wouldn't want to sleep in someone else sheets where they've been farting and scratching their arse, then I wouldn't expect others to either.

Partner B is male and basically doesn't want to do any of the work so thinks saying this gets them out of it.

Partner A should do what they have said (and is correct imo) for their friends and family and leave partner B to do everything for their family and friends (including joint friends). For example friends of partner A stay over and in a couple of days partner Bs family are coming. All bed linen, tidying up etc is just left after friends leave as partner B and his family think this is ok and normal.

Only problem could be is that partner A thinks this will reflect on them. In which case they need to fight this feeling and/or get self esteem counselling.

Maybe I’m slightly against the grain here but I do think there are exceptions. Like when it’s close family members. I have a couple of family members with poorer personal hygiene and then I absolutely will. But family members that I know shower every day and don’t smell (either badly or or of strong perfume) I have been know just to wash pillowcases and air the bedding. This isn’t the 1940s where people only bathe once a week so I think excessive washing is a thing.

intreating I would always wash sheets when new as I hate the factory smell and starched feel.

also if someone’s been to visit and used a towel once I’d reuse it myself (although I wouldn’t give it another guest to use at that point)

im generally very tidy and would absolutely do a massive tidy up everytime anyone came to stay 👍

Of course you need to change the beds!

And you should be clearing washing up away and loading the dishwasher even if you don't have guests!

I would expect to wash and change bed linen between guests and for the house to generally be tidy (e.g recently hoovered, kitchen sides wiped etc).

Partner B needs to step up, as I bet he isn't doing a fair portion of the chores generally (not the point of the thread, but I would have throttled him by now and I'm fairly relaxed with chores).

You know guests might fart on your sofa… you going to wash that every time?

Normally they need washing, yes. But if it was changeovers between my sisters/daughter/nieces and they had literally just stayed one night, then I would ask if they were ok with it not being changed.

Our house is always generally tidy-ish eg. no washing up piled up so not really a special effort for guests. I do give the loo a check! I also might have a quick hoover if not looking great.

Partner A is definitely correct . Would your partner actually tell his friends that the sheets hadn’t been changed or hope to wing it ?

Can't vote but partner A 10000000%

Ewwwwwww urgh yuck. What kind of filthy beast gives USED SHEETS to a guest. Yuck yuck yuck

Team A definitely (with exceptions for close friends or family also more than happy to change linen myself and strip bed especially if I've invited myself).

Depending on reasons for having so many visitors, if the washing is getting too much maybe you could offer a bed but ask some guests to bring their own sleeping bag?

Not so bothered about kitchen being spotless tbh. I go to see friends, not check their housework is up to scratch

I am fairly lax and lazy when it comes to housework, I'm sure I do some things that would make the Mumsnet Clean Queens want to perform an exorcism on me.

HOWEVER I think it's absolutely disgusting not to change sheets between guests. If nothing else it's fucking rude. "Partner B" is a grot.

This.

What does wiping down the room mean?

I have visions of a bloodbath of some description, I'm not house proud so not an expert but I've not heard that phrase

I'm an absolute minger and even I change the bed between guests. Jesus.

Partner B is minging