Changing the bed linen in between guests staying over

[userloadsofnumbers]

I am going to try and write this as factually as possible. We have a lot of people staying over for various reasons. Partner A thinks the bed linen needs to be washed in between every guest, even if they've just slept in the bed for one night/a few hours. Partner B thinks that is unnecessary and doesn't have to be done every time.

Partner A also feels the house should be generally tidied before guests come over - stuff put away, surfaces wiped, plates/cups etc in the dishwasher instead of piled high next to the sink. Again, Partner B disagrees.

Partner A thinks 99% of people think like they do. Partner B says their parents and sister agree with them so Partner A is the weird one and has issues surrounding guests visiting.

So - who is being unreasonable?

Poll: YANBU - if you agree with Partner A
YABU - if you agree with Partner B

I have two sisters and we often stay overnight at eachother's houses. None of us change our sheets between sisters.

I do change them between friends, and always have a clean and tidy house ready for guests.

But if you are taking the bedding off, surely it's as easy to wash it as to just store it somewhere? It's the taking it on and off that is the nuisance.

My son came, slept in the bed two nights, changed the bed for the next user which is likely to be me. Wouldn't consider not changing a bed between different people, even close family.

Me too.

I keep my shoes on in the house and commit all kinds of MN housekeeping cardinal sins. But not changing bed linen between guests? Gross.

Fresh bedding and a tidy house. Exception is if the teenage kids’ friends stay, as they frequently do, a night here and there, but multiple kids during term breaks. A night at a time, mostly. So I’m not so vigilant.

A pedant may say what’s the difference between a seventeen year old and one of my friends. My answer? The care factor. 😁

Partner A is absolutely right here.

But I'd say that my dh sometimes veers towards the same feelings as Partner B, because he grew up in a gross, dirty, chaotic home.

Unfortunately, dh is the only one who ever invites houseguests over. I could do without them and if it meant never seeing someone, I'd be happy to never see them, just to avoid having them stay at my house. So because he invites the houseguests, he has to do the work. It's annoying and stressful because it does involve a lot of me standing over him ordering him to do things. But I just won't have people over - even people I don't want! - sleeping in a dirty bed or using a smelly toilet.

I pressed yabu by accident- of course it should be changed!!!!!

Clean sheets for sure.

I have a 40 degree 20 minute wash and I have been known to throw sheets that were used for one night into it if I need them back on the bed quickly.

I'm with partner A, but I know people who are like partner B. I babysat for a relative for the night in their home and they told me to sleep in their (and their dh) bed. I could tell the linen wasn't clean. I slept with a clean towel over the pillow and pj's and socks. Yuk

Partner A is right. Even if they've just stayed one night who knows what they got up to 😂🤢

Same for tidying up - not necessarily full spring clean but a general tidy for sure...

Definitely on the side of partner A!

What have I just read? I’d be disgusted if I was a guest at someones house and the bed sheets were dirty. The previous occupants of the bed might have BO ant the new occupants will be able to smell it’s not been washed.

It’s like going to a hotel and the sheets having been used by previous guests 🤮

I'm definitely on team change the bedding, no matter how quick the changeover. I very rarely have back to back visitors, but did once last year. I bought an extra set of bedding for the spare bedroom so I could quickly strip the bed and re-make it with new bedding as there was no time to wash the bedding in between guests.
One of my SILs once hinted that she hadn't changed bedding between unrelated guests as "they only stayed for one night". I stay elsewhere now when visiting them.

I stayed with a couple once. Both respectable people (both doctors). I'd gone to bed really sweaty and filthy. Hadn't had time to shower that night. We were leaving the next day and other guests were arriving the same day.
In the morning I started stripping the bed and both of them started saying "Stop!! What are you doing? We've got people staying there tonight!". I said "I know! I thought you'd be putting clean sheets on". They said no need. I explained I felt I was quite dirty when I went to bed and they grudgingly changed the sheet only - not the duvet cover or pillow cases. I was really shocked!

Definitely A.

But with the proviso that the spare bed doesn't get stripped straightaway. Sis stayed last weekend, fresh bedding went on half an hour before her arrival. It will stay there until the next visitor. If it's her, i probably won't change it as it had one night of use. Anyone else, hell yes, it's getting changed.

@makeanddo is correct. B is my DP all over, making it clear he won't help with the cleaning etc. because it's unnecessary. He'd soon moan if he stayed somewhere and it was dirty though!

I sleep face down with my mouth open. I'd hate to sleep somewhere and then find out that the next guests will be sleeping on my dried up drool!

Partner B is a disgusting slob. Who I suspect is looking for an excuse to be a lazy disgusting slob as well and not help partner A who probably does everything else household related as well.

Oh yeah- and that too.

Clean sheets absolutely essential between guests - if you do nothing else then this should be paramount.

Does B also think you shouldn't bleach the bog and wipe round the sink and bath?

My MIL is a partner B - thinks it's ok to let people sleep in sheets that someone else has only slept in a "couple of nights"

Also doesn't change her own sheets for months at a time. Vile.

If a female guest had slept in the bed for one night, I’d sleep soundly in that bed without changing it. I wouldn’t expect someone else to (knowingly or not) and I wouldn’t do it if the guest was male.

I do a quick tidy and put out clean hand towels before having visitors, not a full-on clean. I’m reasonably tidy and my house is never disgusting. Unless you are the type who feels that floors should be as clean as plates, in which case you are welcome to spend your own time in your own house achieving that, but I have better things to do.

This!
How people can have such low standards is beyond me!!

I recognise myself as person A and dirty f*cker DH as Person B. It's pure laziness on his part. Ugh.