Changing the bed linen in between guests staying over

[userloadsofnumbers]

I am going to try and write this as factually as possible. We have a lot of people staying over for various reasons. Partner A thinks the bed linen needs to be washed in between every guest, even if they've just slept in the bed for one night/a few hours. Partner B thinks that is unnecessary and doesn't have to be done every time.

Partner A also feels the house should be generally tidied before guests come over - stuff put away, surfaces wiped, plates/cups etc in the dishwasher instead of piled high next to the sink. Again, Partner B disagrees.

Partner A thinks 99% of people think like they do. Partner B says their parents and sister agree with them so Partner A is the weird one and has issues surrounding guests visiting.

So - who is being unreasonable?

Poll: YANBU - if you agree with Partner A
YABU - if you agree with Partner B

Ugh ! Not change the bedlinen !

Fresh bedding absolutely how can you not change it, I would be mortified if I was staying over somewhere and found out that someone else had slept in the bed the night before and the bedding hadn’t been changed. Why isn’t the kitchen clean and tidy in the first place and the Bathroom should always be clean too.

Because it’s gross! And some skin issues are contagious! And it’s gross! (I say this as a slattern btw, but that’s below even my poor standards!)

@archer240200

they will care and think you’re gross if you don’t change the sheets, end of.

Partner A is right, Partner B is a minger.

The house should be tidy, but I would say it depends on the guests notion of tidy!

Once one person/pair has slept in a bed NO-ONE ELSE sleeps in it until the sheets are changed! You presumably know what washing powder you use and could tell a guest if they asked. If you haven't changed the sheets since the last guest you MUST be able to tell the next guest, every washing product, hair care product, make-up, skin cream, medicine, oil, perfume etc the last guest used, in case of allergies - it's stupid. Just stop being disgusting and lazy and change the sheets!

I think if his family are staying regularly (for example) then he may well be right that they don’t care. Generally though it’s not nice to sleep in bed with unchanged sheets that someone else used first and agree most people would prefer not to.

I don’t think you need to be immaculately tidy and I wouldn’t really do more for a friend or family member staying than I do for myself tidying wise

Partner B is grim. YES you need to change bed linen between guests! Imagine going to a hotel and they’ve just kept yesterday’s bed linen on because the previous guest only stayed one night?! Vile.
and I mean… I’d want to be keeping basic standards of cleanliness and tidiness in my home, not dishes piled high!

You were obviously Partner A because you said "house should be generally tidied". Partner B would say house made gleaming. Honestly if your guests are very frequent plus close to you I think it's fine to leave your house as is or a little bit messy (not a total pigsty obviously). However of course bedsheets should be changed!

I’m going to go massively against the grain here.
Most people when they stay over at another persons house wear some form of PJ’s. So whilst I do always change bedlinen…I don’t really see how it’s different to sitting on a train for a long period where a previous person has been sat with their greasy hair.
Or trying on clothes in a shop.
Or sitting on a sofa someone’s had there feet up on.
Or sitting in a park bare legged where a dog had probably pee’d.
Chill out a bit people - it’s not the end of the world to lie in sheets that have been slept in.

Surely dishes stacked in the dishwasher are as dirty as dishes stacked by the sink. It's just about presentation (which I don't doubt is important to an extent), not really hygiene or cleanliness.

I don't think you're helping your argument 😂 I don't want to feel like my bed in my friend's house is a dirty train seat or peed on park bench.

But I do disagree with most people on the first point – if visitors are frequent and close to you, I think it's ok if your house looks a little lived in.

I'm worried by the 7% who think that it's fine for guests to sleep in someone else's dirty sheets!

I have so little space in my kitchen that if I leave washing up by the sink instead of in the dishwasher, I’ve got no room to make a cup of tea!

I guess I’m pretty laid back. I don’t freak out about sitting on a well used train. Likewise, I would happily sleep in a friends lightly used bedsheets.
But…I do like the house to look clean and tidy (but lived in) - when we have guests.

I would just make it clear to your guests the situation I.e. as they head to bed say "I told H to give you clean sheets, but he said you were fine sleeping in the ones that dirty Derek slept in last week; that certainly wouldn't be my preference, so let H know if you'd like some clean ones and he'll sort that for you now."

Or, if you're away when the friends stay over, next time you see them tell them"sorry I was working when you stayed over, I was horrified to learn that H didn't give you any clean sheets to sleep in, or towels to use, he promised he'd sort it before your arrival."

I imagine with those kind of comments, you'll either shame H into doing the laundry needed, &/or people won't want to stay at your place in future - win!

this is a great idea!

Partner B clearly was not raised right. Entire family needs basic education on hygiene.

I know. It’s revolting.

B is clearly the man, typical

Would Partner B be happy in sleeping in the bed that their guests had slept in for one night?

Most people would agree that a tidy up is necessary.

Absolutely EVERYONE should change bedding between guests - even the crustiest student.

Partner B is either being economical about what his their family said, or else their family are grim

I don’t really see how it’s different to sitting on a train for a long period where a previous person has been sat with their greasy hair.

Planes, and often trains in first class, have disposable anti-macassars (probably not called that these days) for this very reason, and they get changed (though possibly not every journey.)

Not changing bedsheets between guests is the equivalent of using someone else's toothbrush. The thought is excruciating.

I am like partner A. but for the record if for some reason you only have time to do one, clean sheets are more important than a tidying blitz around the house. People will see through a bit of surface mess, but it is absolutely disgusting to sleep in someone else’s sheets